Author	Thread: How do you approach a girl..?
Admin	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 1 Jan, 2010 06:57 PM Seriously, I've gone on dates before but most have been through friends hooking us up. Simple enough, I've never gotten serious with a girl and I'm ready too now. So here goes, this is for the ladies (and guys, possibly) to help with. I spot a girl at a random place, like a gym, that looks cute. How do I approach her? What if she has a boyfriend? What do I say to her, do I just go up out of the blue and say "Hi, how are you?". Wouldn't that seem odd to just go up to a girl randomly and say "Hi, how are you?". She'd probably just say "Good" then get back to her ordeal. I mean, if I'm at the gym and see a girl, shes working out..I just go up to a sweaty girl and start talking to her while she's on the treadmill? Also, lets say were walking out of the gym and I say how are you..she says "Good", and that's usually the end of it. Please tell me the secret on how I can get a date on my own. I'm tired of people hooking me up, it's never worked out. I'm 22 years old, so I'm still young, but I need advice!! I've tried dating sites, clubs, bars, meetup groups..I can't find anyone!! Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 1 Jan, 2010 07:57 PM Hi and welcome. Sounds like you are on the right track - you approach women you are interested in and talk to them. Try making your opening comment an open question, or a specific comment. For instance, "I noticed you on the treadmill. I usually like to use the bike - do you think I should try the treadmill too?" This at least gives the girl a chance to stop and formulate a response. Once she does that it is easier to get into a conversation, make eye contact, and get a chance to chat and then go for coffee or something. Make your questions or comments something she can respond to with more than a "yes" or "no" or "good" or one or two words. Ask her about her shoes, or gym bag, or stretching exercises. Hope that helps! :rolleyes: Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 1 Jan, 2010 08:22 PM It's all about mindset, you HAVE to enjoy being yourself and what you're doing at the moment. Like you don't need her to feel any better about yourself and life (which is hopefully true, though it's always nice to enjoy things with other people). That's true confidence right there, because you either are or you aren't and that's one of the top things women are attracted to. Don't let them dictate how you conduct yourself either. Be the person you want to be. Live the life you want to live. In general be independent, but not isolated. And when in public be energetic, enthusiastic, and positive. Good looks, intelligence, and money aren't as important as those things. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 1 Jan, 2010 08:48 PM Oh, and to address that last part where you said you can't find them: You probly can, they just can't find you. Be vocal and be visible. Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 1 Jan, 2010 10:35 PM My Best approach line is "Hi...I just got my Library Card and I'm checking you out". Or "Is it Hot in here or is it you?" Seriously, Both of the advice you were given here are right on. You are "selling" yourself and you are doing it the hardest way possible..."Cold Calling". You have to within those first few moments say or do something that will make her want to hear more or something that will engage her in conversation. Sometimes Honesty works wonders (go figure). What if you went up to her and said "Excuse me. Hi, I'm ______ and I was wondering if you could help me?" You will get either a possitive or a negative response. If it's a negative one just tuck your tail between your legs and retreat....quickly. If it is a positive one then ask her "Well, I need a woman's opinion. I am awful at meeting women and there is one here that I would like to get to know better but I don't know how or even if I should approach her here and I was hoping that you could help me?" Shut your mouth...don't say another word. Also you have kept eye contact throughout this whole conversation and have avoided the biggest mistake men do in initial contact with a woman (staring at all the Wrong places). Don't say a word until she responds...she is thinking of whether to brush you off or if you are sincere (NOTE: This is all for naught if you are not sincere or try to put on an act because she will be able to tell) or if she should answer your question. Once again you will get either a negative or positive response. If negative...thank her for her time then Tuck and Run. If positive...LISTEN CAREFULLY to what she is saying...this is so important. Because whatever she tells you to do...you smile and thank her and then tell it to her. She will have either already figured out that was what you wanted or be genuinely surprised and hopefully either way appreciative of your candor and effort. Honesty is always the best practice and the simplest and if she does not appreciate it then you don't need her anyway. Post Reply
cherished2 View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 1 Jan, 2010 11:42 PM All good advice, ..... As a girl, you must remember that we are out there hoping to meet someone special too. That first contact happens with the eyes... and it says so much. Smile at her with yor eyes (careful not to make it a stare and uncomfortably long). Let her see you looking at her a few times and then follow up with an honest (as Arch said) approach. Making eye contact while you talk with her is so important. It makes you seem trustworthy and allows her to see your sincerity. Confidence is attractive and nothing will replace sincerity. I wish you luck (if you find something that works well... please feel free to share your techiniques!) Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 2 Jan, 2010 12:21 AM Hey clevelandrules87, I agree with all that's been advised for you. Show her your heart in your "eye contact" and follow Arch's instructions. I think you'll get the desired results --- you getting a next date with her! Go for it! You've got NOTHING to lose, and all to gain! If God wants you and her to "be" then the spiritual atmostphere between the two of you will dictate positively... if not, well, you go on your merry way. That simple. Be in anticipation! Be confident and git out there!!! Now!!!!! Go for what you "want"! GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 2 Jan, 2010 11:48 AM I spot a girl at a random place, like a gym, that looks cute. How do I approach her? What if she has a boyfriend? What do I say to her, do I just go up out of the blue and say "Hi, how are you?". Wouldn't that seem odd to just go up to a girl randomly and say "Hi, how are you?". She'd probably just say "Good" then get back to her ordeal. if you spot a girl like the gym i would always do it honesty...ask her if she is new? she will get the hint...keep going for direct honest question but not to nosey like you could ask if she been going there for a while. if she says yes then you got to put those answers to that, it maybe possable that she may be doing the same thing you are. Like randomly looking for the match for her. Remember woman dont know how to approach men either being the same cases that you specified not knowing if they are in a relationship. It is hard to know for anyone of us and then have so much ordinary confidence to offer someone more better advice for you to find someone when we are in the same case as they are searching for our match. I go out to like bowling alleys becasue I like to play billard pool with my 14 year daughter but I wont apporach no one. I know that it gets me no where but, I am just saying I am not the worlds greatest hook up artist or I would be dating the right man too. I can just give you a few ideas to maybe put your plan in motion their is no guarentee it will be the answer that works for you. Just saying honestly. GivenLife Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 2 Jan, 2010 01:41 PM I look for mutual interest...but I suppose if you had the guts, anything is possible. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 3 Jan, 2010 10:44 AM See though, it seems to weird to just go up to a girl at the gym and bug her while she's working out. I mean, if I'm at the gym, I don't want people coming up to me while I'm on the treadmill - I'm running, trying to focus on what I'm doing, and would hate for someone to break my good run I'm on. Plus, it seems weird to go up to a random girl and ask her how she's doing. I don't want to develop a reputation of a guy at the gym who's trying to pickup a date. And I feel like a loser trying to meet someone off a dating site, I mean, how weird would it be to introduce someone to your family and say you met off a dating site? I don't want to meet girls at bars, that's the worst. I've never went to Walmart and decided to strike up a convo with a girl over cereal, candy, bread, or anything like that. I think church might be a good idea to meet girls though. I guess what I need to know is this - I see a girl that looks cute - what do I do specifically to show some interest without saying anything? Any other advice..? Post Reply
View Profile History	How do you approach a girl..? Posted : 4 Jan, 2010 11:52 AM All really great advice from everyone. Clevland - Your last question...Well...You look her in the eyes, smile and when she see's you, walk up extend your hand in greeting and introduce your self...let her process it. Like Arch said, if its a positive responce..its all good. If not, move on. Or look her in the eyes and if she see's you looking and turns an blushes its mutual...its open for investigation...Good Luck and Gods Blessin to you this New Year...xo Post Reply

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