Author	Thread: Outward looking in
david3by9 View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 09:26 AM In many profiles that I have read, woman often question why men are so oriented to the way a woman looks. My question relates to this and posted profiles. If how a woman looks externally doesn't matter why do woman post photos on dating sites that show them at their best or when they were younger? And it seems that they also are concerned at how other women see them also, won't go someplace without their makeup, yet at the same time question why men are looking at how they look. This puzzles me. Can you women explain this to me? Thanks, David Post Reply
Phoebe2 View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 11:28 AM Good point! although the look is very important, but physical beauty is not everything, other characteristics are as important. Personally, I get annoyed when a guy disregards all that I have wrote which reflect partially the kind of woman I am, and only comments on a photo. It doesn't only diminish my mental & educational qualities/skills, it makes me feel how shallow a guy might be to the extend that he couldn't bother to read few lines before start talking to me! The bottom line is , any human being is made up of a combination of different things , it happens that the first thing reprsented in a person before even uttering a word is the look. Post Reply
View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 11:50 AM dear folks, good point david.. sides folks what s the first thing you see when you meet someone out in the real world.. you see the person.. why should it be different here? cept for blind dates yet even then you usually get to see a pic first.. and phoebe, maybe the reason that he couldnt wait to read the profile was that he was so stricken by your beauty that he just couldnt wait to speak to you... smilers ole cattle Post Reply
david3by9 View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 02:22 PM Appearance is not just about beauty. The eyes are the gateway to the soul. When I look at someone their countaneance says way more than many other things. The joy of the Lord is evidient and if they are happy or an unhappy person. There are beautiful people physically who have no attractive qualities in my opinion. Even if they are drop dead gorgeous, but life giving Jesus makes a woman beautiful indeed. So I say there is a balance. We should make ourselves nice to look at but not make it the all in all. David Post Reply
View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 04:15 PM i just got a sweet email on my updated photo and how pretty i am... well, i dont get asked out for dates and have had very little successful interest. So the beauty part doesn't appear to be the key to start dating, rather just an increase in the number in looks or who have "viewed" me. I don't have the secret. Post Reply
david3by9 View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 06:25 PM Is there a secret? I thought it was just part of being a woman. I do appreciate your response and I pray God gives you someone that is more than just taking a look at your picture and profile, but honestly cares. God bless, David Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 07:53 PM Pheobe2 - Ditto, and very well stated. Post Reply
david3by9 View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 11 Dec, 2009 12:01 PM To follow up what I said, it seems when a woman makes a list of what she is looking for in a man that she is showing her preferences and how she is discerning in what she wants in a man. However if a man has a list a different guideline is presented. Honestly I think as christians although we should have preferences, it is not about what we want, but about who we should be. If we only are about what others should be than we miss the whole point. God's word is to apply to our own hearts first, then we can in gentleness and love help restore others. Not out of anger or because a man or woman wasn't what we wanted or expected. Externals are merely that. We should stop trying to make each other what we want, and let God show us how to love and encourage one another as He WANTS. Post Reply
View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 11 Dec, 2009 08:47 PM To follow up what I said, it seems when a woman makes a list of what she is looking for in a man that she is showing her preferences and how she is discerning in what she wants in a man. However if a man has a list a different guideline is presented. Honestly I think as christians although we should have preferences, it is not about what we want, but about who we should be. If we only are about what others should be than we miss the whole point. God's word is to apply to our own hearts first, then we can in gentleness and love help restore others. Not out of anger or because a man or woman wasn't what we wanted or expected. Externals are merely that. We should stop trying to make each other what we want, and let God show us how to love and encourage one another as He WANTS. good point but you know that is why Christ died for us in the times we cant be the way we know how we are suppose to be as Christians and yes this is all good and true ... remember that is why the scriptiure says in Romans 7 13 Was then that which is good made death unto me? God forbid . But sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me by that which is good; that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful. 14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would , that do I not; but what I hate , that do I . 16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. 17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is , in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do . 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. 21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. 22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin. Post Reply
david3by9 View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 12 Dec, 2009 01:13 PM No doubt people sometimes struggle to be who they should be in Christ, but I would say the struggle is not sin. Disobedience to Christ is the sin. We cannot help that the birds fly over our heads but we don't have to let them nest in our hair. If we never act like a Christian are we? So I agree with you, but there should be growth in people and in our relationships. Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	Outward looking in Posted : 12 Dec, 2009 02:56 PM d3by9 -- I like what you wrote "Honestly I think as christians although we should have preferences, it is not about what we want, but about who we should be. If we only are about what others should be than we miss the whole point. God's word is to apply to our own hearts first, then we can in gentleness and love help restore others. Not out of anger or because a man or woman wasn't what we wanted or expected. Externals are merely that. We should stop trying to make each other what we want, and let God show us how to love and encourage one another as He WANTS." I really believe that if we're trusting God, we got to trust Him all the way... AND that may mean He gives us a package that is more than we could've ever asked or hoped for. Ephesians 3:20 says "Now to Him (our GOD) who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us... Key most significant words here - far more abundantly - beyond all that we ask OR think - according to the POWER that works within us. Not the power we work, but the power in us. So with that in mind, I focus and try to trust God because if I REALLY want HIS best, it might not look like I got it pictured, and what He really has for me is probably going to blow my mind! I'll take His best, rather than mine at this stage of the game of life. *gracemae Post Reply

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