Thread: What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Admin
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 30 Nov, 2009 11:42 PM
My question is what are some of the things that we men do or say that put the kibosh (that's Latin) on a possible relationship?
Starting from the opening e-mail. What will cause you to not reply. And when a guy contacts you and you do reply and you're considering a possible relationship; what will turn you off from continuing?
What things that are said or left unsaid or insinuated or outright idotic comments that just "burn your toast".
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 1 Dec, 2009 07:25 AM
OK, here are some things that have totally "turned me off":
First message: "Hi cutie", "So, you are still a virgin...so am I!", "Here's all my contact info...", "Hi" (followed by nothing else in the message), "You are just gorgeous...I want to marry someone just like you, maybe even you!", "I'm not looking for a girlfriend...just a friend and nothing more", a message that summarizes all the baggage that he will come with, a message that gives a long list of "requirements" for the girl he will marry, etc. Stuff like that does not get an answer, or either I send the the standard "I don't think we would make a good match" answer.
Killers once communicating: these are a little more complicated. If he wants to criticize me for where I work or the kind of books I read or the kind of music/movies/tv I enjoy, I'm probably not going to hang around for long. If all of the e-mails/IMs have been very general and vague, then he starts in on how many kids he wants and starts talking about weddings, that's sort of awkward and a conversation killer. If he drags his feet about answering/sending e-mails or IMs, I'll get tired and move on. If he goes off an a rant about some little something I said, forget it buster!
So, those are some things that I think kill a relationship. And I might be wrong, but I think they would be things that a girl could do to kill a relationship too...it's not always a guy's fault when the relationship doesn't last.
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 11:03 AM
Well, bcpianogal gave some pretty precise and accurate scenarios that fit the bill to *kill a relationship*.
Also, once I see a profile that appears the man knows how to communicate in writing, which by the way is very appealing to me.... then sends a message that's doesn't show he can communicate at all. Thats like copying something to put in your profile, then you send a message that's super short, mis-spelling everywhere, and you only want my phone number or say I'm pretty? OR lets get off of CDFF site and use some other means. The man wants to appear being intellectual, caring, communicative, but then when the real interaction begins, it's not there. Some women have already written about fraud (not who you say you are) in these profiles. And, I'm not saying a man has to have 15 degrees or anything, but be as equally sharing in private messaging as you are publicly sharing your profile which is supposed to reflect who you really are.
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 11:28 AM
Good point Ms Mae,
I have found some replys posted here to be simply a Copy and Paste off of the Internet. While the information is valid and good, it is deceptive of who that person really is and paints a different picture of them. Makes you wonder what they really are like.
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 12:43 PM
What keeps us from opening an email?????? HHHMmm well, even if I do't think it's a not agood match I will not igonre the email that to meis just rude. Some girls may feel that IF they open the email it will give a false sense to the sender and well it might.
No PET NAMES in the profile ........... no oldone liners like WHERE HAVE U BEEN ALL MY LIFE .......... or I AM YOUR PRINCE CHARMING ....... really well if you only knew who was looking at your porfile you may want to change that lol lol..........I'm just saying.
Stick to the points of who you are. Pics are important!!! Like the clothes you wear and the job you do it shows how you feel about you. So if there is a DOG in the pic you are saying one of a few things ..........
1. I LOVE MY DOG and if you don't - then don't chekc me out, which is smart.
2. you really don't want people to see your pic, but understand peeps wanna put a face with the characteristics they are reading about.
3. you want them to pick you for you and not your body ...........AMEN to that brother!!!!!!!!
4. you really have no photos and this was the first things you choose- BAD IDEA becuz it says you arnt putting the effort in.
(my excuse for a stinky pic iiiiiiiiisssssss I hate cameras so I take few pics and well if they see me at my worst and choose me then they'll be thrilled to see me at my best LOL )
So see, there are so many reasons and when you are dealing with hundreds of different personalities there are going to be hundreds of reasons.
Just be REAL ........ and when the email gets trashed LET IT GO it's not life threatening ............bottom line is GOD and only GOD knows who your next will be so do alot of :prayingm:ing and ask Him.
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 01:59 PM
Hey Arch,
I'm back ....... I ws taking a shower and your question made me question my profile loll lol. So check it out, I know for me I checked the profile b4 I checked the email. Sometimes it's the littest thing that makes them not want to answer the email. ok like the dude was really into boxin and basketball. She can't stand those sports.
........or here's a good one, girl is really into health food and a vegan and the dude is really attractive and has a great job and educated and immaculate English,great profile and then she reads that he loves Taco Bell ......or Prime Rib is his fave food.... well she's not opening that email.
Mayb the fact that his last date was a cross dresser is too much or he has 75 kids and 7 ex wives, well uh ya not opening those emails.
Maybe he put his whole life story on his profile and she doesn't wanna know him that well yet or at all depending on what he say lol.
Maybe he's just a motormouth and rambles on in his profile (uh that would b me - ya - may want to go change my porfile now lol):goofball:
Anyway, just the tinest little thing that makes a girl go mmmmm no thanx
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 02:32 PM
Grace, believe it or not, every single one of those things has happened to me on this site! And I'm not still communicating with any of the guys that did those things...so they were definitely conversation/relationship killers!
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 02:50 PM
Great stuff! Boy, I'm may have to rethink my whole approach on this thing call ONLINE Dating.
Excellent advice Wen__! Oh..By the way...the photo of the Bull...is me! I turn into one every lunar eclipse (thank goodness it's not at sundown). Makes it really tough ordering pizza.
What are some of the things men do that kill a relationship?
Posted : 2 Dec, 2009 06:35 PM
Another thing..... well, lets face it... we're brown, yellow, white, black on here. If we're seeking friendship first, then try a little tendernesss! You can't seek a "marraige partner" or "long term relationship" without being friends first. Act like you really want to know the *inner* person, not the color or*exterior* photo you see that really doesn't represent the spirit in that person. To look at a picture and say "that's the one for me" .... well, whoa... WHOA... are you gonna be in for a surprise when you figure out *looks* don't make the package a good deal! Many men and women make that mistake more often than not. Then they realize the *one they left behind* was it!
Men... take time to learn about women. Don't focus just on the color or physical appearance, however there should be a physical appeal that draws you to a female for a hopeful intimate relationship, BUT!!! we ARE all out here hoping to be compatible friends with you. You must consider this and not just look to that special intimate relationship. Life ain't going no faster than our Lord allows us. So take life slow, no hurry, no worries.
Oh well... I had time to think on some more stuff... just sharing. I'm enjoying my time in the forums!! :yay:
