Author Thread: I could use some advice
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I could use some advice
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 03:44 PM

My names Ryan, just so everyone knows, I joined here about a month or two ago. Let me first explain why I am on here. I have never been on a date, I have like a bunch of girls but one donwside I have been struggling with is going up to a woman and asking her out or if she wants to hang out.I have been working on that. I do like a girl, the thing is is that she is currently attending cedarville university in ohio and I feel like its too late to ask her out(If you want to know more about this just ask, I'd be happy to explain it more). I am currently going to college and am in my second year, the tihing is is that my college used to be an all guys college a long time ago but cahnged over to both guys and girls and there are not a whole lot of girs there, let alone christian woman. My workplace does not have any christian woman either, so I didnt really have any other options other than online dating. My church does have college girls from a loacl bible college but none of them really come to a college and career group we have and the ones that do already have boyfriends.



Now, I have been on here a for about a month or two and so far I have talked with 2-3 girls that have replyed that they are not interested others have viewed my profile and just havent responded to my messages. Am I doing something wrong? Is my profile ok? Sometimes I think that they see me and just dont see me as attractive and just dont bother. I dont know maybe I'm just being doubtful. I'm really a nice down to earth guy who just wants to meet and talk with someone that could be a future siginificant other.



Am I too young? I'm currently 19 and will be 20 on jan 15. What age group should I message, I have been messaging 18-21 yr olds. It also seems like everyone I have seen in pa, either dosnt get back to me, or just are not on anymore.



My last question is that is it ok to message people form out of state. For example, I live in Lancaster Pa, so would it be ok to message people for maryland, new jersey, deleware, basically surrounding states?



I appologize for my long post, I'm new to this online dating thing and have alot of questions. If anyone would like to be my friend on her for when I need help that would be something I would appreciate.



Thanks, Ryan

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I could use some advice
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 05:01 PM

dear lbg, welcome to the forums.. im sure some lady folks will answer you soon..

ole cattle

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I could use some advice
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 06:31 PM

Friend see the picture I use.It gets many women to look at my profile.try a catchy photo.2 pics is good.My 1st month was bad here also.It took time to find a photo that gets the ladies attention.Have 1 or 2 pics of you doing something.Like having fun or playing sports.Take a look at my profile for ideas.:glow: Add a little humor to your profile.That does work.

Most girls your age either are looking for the right guy or will wait until they get out of college.You are young yet and need to wait on god.Just look for a friend now.Good friends make good spouses.Do you have a pet?Girls like pets.

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DontHitThatMark

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I could use some advice
Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 07:14 PM

Nothing wrong with your profile. Some advice would be to get involved here on the forums, let them see your views on stuff. The real women that are here to actually talk to people will read the stuff. I stopped most of my messaging after the 4th month just because %90 of them never replied. I did end up finding someone pretty awesome...or actually she found me...but "just have patience" is the only real advice I can give you. Be patient and make your presence known.



:peace::peace:

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Posted : 18 Nov, 2009 08:29 PM

from a woman's perspective: Make sure your profile doesn't have typos. I know someone who crosses off it they don't know when to use there, their, and like two, to , too - because being educated is important to 'em.

Also try to have points in a positive position. i would not share you haven't dated. Expect to have very little response because of the age range you have and your age. There just aren't that many on this site that are active.

It's okay to look at other states. You are young, going to school, so it's very possible you will be open to relocating.

Finally, GO OUT ON A DATE! start developing your social skills. .... remember that the girl you ask out may not be the one, but her friend may be.

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DontHitThatMark

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I could use some advice
Posted : 19 Nov, 2009 11:46 AM

Sheesh; piople jugde piople baysed on the gramer? Im so skrewed. I don't know about anybody else...but anyone that would disqualify me for something so arbitrary as correct grammar...can leave me alone. Not somebody I'd want to be in a relationship with. Next thing you know, they'd be telling me how to brush my teeth with something they like to call "the right way". *shudder* Maybe I should start using more grammatical errors to keep them away...



:peace::peace:

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I could use some advice
Posted : 19 Nov, 2009 04:06 PM

Thanks for all the help, more help would be appreciated. I personally dont have animals though once I get a bit older I want to get an alaskan malamute, My parents have a golden. My only other question would be what age range should I go for, I know someone made the comment that I might not get alot of hits with the age range I have chosen. How much older do you think is appropriate for a guy my age?

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Posted : 19 Nov, 2009 10:33 PM

Dude it is a numbers game.. While it is good practice in general to try to leverage the internet to find a date/relationship do you know the site you are on is just a tiny tiny tiny corner of the online dating world?



Didn't you get the "Try eHarmony For Free! ..." letter in the Christiandatingforfree inbox that was sent out to everyone a few days ago? You have three more days to make a profile and contact some people, at least give it a try..



There are other plenty of larger free (and paid) dating/relationship sites out there, use some third party service like alexa or quantcast or comscore to rank site popularity, demographics, and just that information to your benefit. Don't get stick with one site, sign up to all of them..



Also just because you message a couple of people on here and they weren't interested doesn't mean you should give up. Use the sites advanced search function and proactively seek out more.. and give it some time.. 2 months is nothing.. give your at least half a year..



Good luck

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I could use some advice
Posted : 20 Nov, 2009 02:58 PM

I have a bunch of other accounts on other sites, some free, some not. Actually this morning I got a message form someone saying they would like to get to know me more after reading my email and profile so I'll see how that goes. And yes I have gotten the email by the way.

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Posted : 20 Nov, 2009 04:15 PM

Alright! Who are you and what have you done with IlikeU alot?



Hey LikeU. Good sound advice....and I didn't need a dictionary or Tylenol to understand it.

Thanks

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Posted : 20 Nov, 2009 10:43 PM

DontHitThatMark and others in similar situations,



Yes, people judge based on GRAMMAR (not 'gramer' or 'grammer') as well as spelling.. You may want to use Firefox with automatic spell checker or a third party writing utility such as Ginger, WhiteSmoke, CorrectEnglish, etc - Google Wave also offers a free contextual spelling and grammar checking tool online.



Hope that helps!

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