Author	Thread: why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two!
Admin	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 22 Oct, 2018 01:22 AM By Mr Nice Guy I mean the chivalry type of guy. The guy who writes poems, letters and notes. The guy who buys flowers, candy and gifts. The guy who opens doors, takes your coat and pulls out your chair. The guy who sends good morning and goodnight messages everyday. The guy who goes out of his way to be gentle, kind and caring. You know, the guy who women say are smothering and clingy. Why reject that guy when he's trying to be your Boaz? So many Christian women say they want their very own Boaz but reject him when he comes along. Do y'all really not like the attention or do y'all just not like it from somebody you don't find attractive? Post Reply
View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 22 Oct, 2018 04:34 AM I cant speak for everyone but woman with ASD could be rather uncomfortable with what you sead. Then you have the fact that many women today are very independent and don't like the whole opening doors and taking their coat thing. Bit I would be confused too. Im sure their would be pliantly of women out there wanting this kind of treatment. Maybe your going about it the wrong way or coming off to clingy? Post Reply
Melissam871 View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 22 Oct, 2018 12:48 PM You have to understand that it's a difficult question for even girls to answer as no one answer will be representative of us all. Some women may reject the genuine guys because they might perceive them as boring. This is of course an unfair view to take, but unfortunately can be the case. Even amongst Christian women, its human nature as sin takes over. Other women will have other reasons for it. Personally I don't trust men who come off as too nice or who seem like they are trying too hard, but that just me. Post Reply
View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 22 Oct, 2018 02:23 PM I understand what you're saying. The guys who use kindness to pull the wool over a ladies eyes has tainted the way God tells us men to act towards women. Looks as if satan is really good at what he does, dived and conquer. Satan is really winning in the relationship and marriage area. God bless Post Reply
Ocean17 View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 22 Oct, 2018 06:59 PM A friend of mine had a long distance relationship wih a man she met on vacation, who sent her an email (poems, quotes from the bible etc...) every day. She loved it. I eventually met him and loved the way he loved my friend. When she was ready to leave her family and home country to be with him through marriage, he panicked. I will never understand his decision. My friend felt so rejected and I really don't care for the guy she is dating now (they met on a dating sight like this one). Chivalry type of guy if find if it genuine. If you are doing it to impress, everyone will see through that quick enough. I once dating someone who brought a gift every time he came to my house to visit. I had to ask him to stop. I felt like he was trying to buy me. To this day, I still believe this. I also feel he was a stocker. The attention will not be appreciated if is just what you want to give and not what she wants to receive. One size does not fit all. Post Reply
View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 22 Oct, 2018 07:41 PM Humans, men & women, have a way of really messing things up. We tend to let the world make an impression on our way of thinking and we bring that into our Christian life when we get saved. We're supposed to leave the world in the world and start acting Christ like but we don't. We judge everybody we meet based off how others in our past has treated us and that's just wrong. Everybody we meet should have a clean slate. We should judge people with righteous judgement by their own fruits and not the fruits of others. God does not condemn every human to hell because of one humans sins, no He judges everyone based on their own sins. Men or women should not hold another humans short comings against somebody else period but yet that's what happens 99 times out of 100, not Christ like at all. Post Reply
View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 23 Oct, 2018 02:04 AM Funny thing happened with my first gf, she had her issues but nvm that. She once told me she cannot believe me because what I say generally sounds to good to be true.... I have the annoying habit of (almost) always being honest and it made her paranoid So perhaps for some woman it's simple paranoia? Not something the "perfect" guy they seem to be waiting for could fix as it's an internal problem. For some it's a case of "where is my knight in shining armor" but as soon as one actually materializes she thinks it's actually a devil in disguise like "all the others".... this is not a problem any man can fix even though most will try out of instinct. Falling in love is easy, any idiot can do it. LOVING is scary and dangerous because doing it properly means baring all your vulnerabilities to a potential predator.... basically if a woman cannot trust you without a regiment of long dating and tests and so on she probably never will.... move on stop over thinking it, it probably REALLY IS her not you or you two were never meant to be anyway or whatever. It's more complicated than people simply being more or less Christian especially because intense romantic relationships are FAR different beasts compared to common relationships with siblings in the faith. It's not always sin that makes someone reject someone else.... though I have had experiences in the past where specific woman WERE subscribed to really twisted views on men and in extension God which usually were related to male authority. Sometimes rejection simply is "she" unable to admit that "she" will never want "he" to have matrimonial authority over "her" because of a bad history with male authority otherwise colloquially known as "daddy issues" so "she" makes up (sometimes terrible) excuses. Funny thing, sometimes it's when you loose all hope and stop looking that God blindsides you and plops the "right one" right in your lap without you noticing... they it's your turn to be paranoid because it happened so easily Post Reply
View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 23 Oct, 2018 03:45 AM The fact that this topic is such a big issue just goes to prove there's a serious problem in today's watered down Christian way of thinking and acting. Whatever happened to letting the old man die and a new creature take it's place? Whatever happened to forgiving and forgetting? Not only do "Christian's" not forgive and forget towards the person who done the wrong, they hold it against everybody they meet! It makes me question salvation and how the modern church teaches it's so easy to get it. There's nothing funny about rejecting nice people as mate's just because you've had bad experiences in the past with somebody else or because you're not physically attracted to them. Yes, God gives us freewill to choose our mate but He expects us to be Godly in doing so. He does not want us to go about like the people of the world does but yet that's what most "Christian's" do. God bless Post Reply
Melissam871 View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 23 Oct, 2018 01:38 PM I get where your coming from. However, we have to remember we are human at the end of the day. Therefore expecting people to marry someone they aren't happy with is unreasonable and actually dangerous for the concept of marriage as a whole. It would demean it as it suggests that you can just marry anyone and be done with it. By asking someone to marry someone they aren't completely in love with, which physical attraction can play a minor part in, is cruel to both parties. Some people genuinely do wasn't to find the balance between it all and that will entail being a little fussy about who we Choose to marry. As an example, If you expect someone to marry you solely because you are a nice guy, are you going to be happy at the end do you think? It's not reasonable to ask people to just marry someone who is nice. There has to be a chemistry present that comes from certain types of attraction e.g. Emotional, physical, even spiritual. All I am trying to say is that your suggestion that we all settle for whoever comes along wothout considering does it work is not always the best way to sustain happy relationships. Post Reply
View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 23 Oct, 2018 02:00 PM With all due respect, you have completely misunderstood what I'm saying. I DO NOT expect anybody to marry anybody they are not happy with. That what would be absolutely nuts. My whole point is for us all to think and act more Christ like in our approach to dating and marriage, we have to stop applying worldly ways to our Christian lives. By doing that we will be more open to be what God has called us to be and accept others for what God has called them to be and NOT base everything on the flesh. We can not claim to be Christian's and live by the world's rules! Have a wonderful and blessed day. Post Reply
Obediencetotheword View Profile History	why reject Mr. Nice Guy? Part two! Posted : 23 Oct, 2018 04:21 PM There is a prayer in my profile. Do you think that stopped someone from deception? No. Someone who claimed to be a pastor and single on his profile made a mistake of giving me his FB account. Guess what I saw, wedding pictures! He is married and it seems like he had a fight with his wife then joined this site! For what? To deceive? That was looking like a nice guy's profile. See, how can we put our guards down when this is what there is even on this site? Post Reply

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