"Sisygirl, my dove.....when I made the statement of friendship at the onset of any relationship being a basic foundation, it was more of a general statement. It was not so much referring specifically to your comments that at times it may be worth a brand new experience, but not skipping the basic stages of starting over as friends with new interests. Personally, I'd want to do whatever it takes to salvage a friendship where I see possibilities.......see gratifying worth!"
Ofcause darling sis you were speaking on a general note. It was only after you've share your first reply when I realized that I wasn't really specific of what I meant too when suggested a new experience altogether. Don't worry dear I didn't take it personal. :nahnah:
Now moving forth to the current subject inspired by the above qoated paragraph from you which I fully agree with:
Let's say,
You've been here for a longer period like you have been already. With your disappointments which you've mentioned previously, just when you consider deactivating your account here, you meet someone who doesn't have a photo on his profile. You two interact and enjoy each others company. With time he eventually starts getting in your system, in a way that when you think of him, he reaches out as if he knew that you were just thinking of him.
When you're not in a very good mood from whatever that may have caused you not to feel right at that specific time, he sends you a joke that makes you laugh to tears. :ROFL:
Suddenly there's a desire in you of hearing his voice now that you comfortable enough to entrust him with your cell#.
The bond is getting stronger with time since there's participation from both parties. It gets stronger to a point of connecting in spirit also in a way that, he shares a passage that you meant to share with him. You don't even tell him that you meant to share that with him. His prayers for you through emails are flowing on the same pace with what you prayed for him about.
You mention your worst fears about relationships, he keeps telling you that the right person will come along. You should only focus on reserving his space in your heart. Now you can't help thinking its him looking at how well you connect. How happy you feel when thinking of him. How often your thoughts revolve around him daily. How you can't help telling your friends about him. How much you now believe in this.
Until curiosity won't let you be silent any more. You ask him to send you his photo, he rather offers to meet you inperson on a date only to find his not even close to what attracts you physically which was his fear all along that if you see him without getting to know his inner being, he may not stand a chance pursuing his future with you.
Will you let go inspite of how he makes you feel and how well you connect just coz lookwise his not onn? :excited:
"What really stimulates Joy?" My goodness sweet girl(smile)lol!! I read this post at least twice and to tell you the truth each time I blushed(smile)! Not in a "lustful" sense, but in pure humility! Why?.....because no matter what I've talked or shared with others about on this site and on others, this particular topic of discussion I knew, at sometime, I would have to face(smile)! And that I would have to face it honestly! I'll say this here and now my friend.....thank you for helping me face this head on!
Being "superficial" is never a human trait people want to honestly admit to! Usually most will act out in that trait, but more than likely it would take others to recognize it. And if out of control, those around us who care about us would pull us a side, letting us know what they've observed. But in this case sister girl, I'd have to say that if I found myself in this scenario you've painted, I'd only have my conscience and The Spirited of God to keep me in check!! You see I'll admit, a brother who doesn't attract me physically........well it will be very, very difficult to see myself in a romantic relationship with him! There would have to be, as you've exclaimed, extenuating circumstances, eg. a "sold out" love for The Lord, their awesome personality, charm, wit, humor, etc., for me to even consider a romantic involvement! Something will have to completely distract me from his looks(smile)! I'm just being honest!
Now as you can see here is where I'd need the awesome guidance and direction of The Lord! On my post regarding "online friendships", my final comment was made under this same premise! I really don't know what the purpose of God is for any individual in my life at any time! I will say however, that I am open enough to find out! You see I also believe that God knows our hearts......our likes and dislikes! He won't send someone to us romantically if they don't inspire our hopes and desires of what we think we want and need in a life partner! I just want, no have, to believe that!!!!! God knows very well our pet peeves and whether we want to admit to it or not, we ALL have "superficial" qualities when it comes to what we want our potential life mate to look like! It takes us being realistic about what we really "need" more than what we want........again this is where our faith in knowing that God "knows" what's best for us better than we'll ever know for ourselves! The question is, can we ALL accept who and what God has in store for our lives? Thanks again my friend for helping to stretch the horizons of my faith, hope and love! Stay kept in Him.
You're most welcome darling! We all have our own issues and challenges that we need to face from time to time.
I'm in a phase where inasmuch as I wasn't really looking... I've learned that i'm more attracted to quality versus quantity. Looks play a very important role in relationships. That I know foresure and there's nothing really wrong in that. Apparently guys especially are more stimulated by physical attraction which has somehow impacted on us ladies being more cautious of how we look in order to remain attractive.
Acceptance seem to do it for me sis. Maybe it's coz for the very first time in my life I have been accepted and inspired to take off the garment of shame. (I'm more referring to first time with human being fore God has accepted me weigh before even anyone can claim to love me as I am)
Looks still matter to a certain extend though being humbly embraced without putting on the mask, feels like the very first true experience of relating without hiding anything or even worrying of what I reflected, how did it come out, have I lost any points accumulated from reflecting that?
It puts ones at ease.
Thank you darling for being honest and making me laugh in some sentences when reading your reply. Could almost see your facial expressions
