You all that I have now. I've already lost two great friends here, Teach whom I'm not very sure what she meant by saying she's not gonna find what she's searching for in this dating site. It's like passing time partaking here I think. Now it's John no longer around. I too will be off line for about 2weeks or so, I have important assignments that need my undivided attention.
Can I ask you pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase dear not to deactive your account too while i'm gone. That's the last thing I need when I get back here or i'll have no choice but to council my account unless new folks will be partaking on the forum without reacting to another when interacting.
I've tried to come up with few questions for you (and any other lady who may wish to answer) so I keep you around while i'm gone. You don't have to answer them all at once since i'll only be writing back in 2weeks. Hope these questions will keep you thinking and writing until I return.
If you were asked to advise young ladies like me in how to let their beauty influence their space positively and benefit whose who are around them, what will your word of advice be to all young ladies here?
Your next question is: (NB.. Your questions are different dear, each question is different from the other)
* Getting off on the wrong foot with a potential mate?
If you were to meet your partner to be (with confirmation from the holly spirit) but now the challenge is that you two got off by arguing over whatever that might have caused a fight. While walking away from the scene for peace sake, you get a massage to go humble yourself and fix things with him fore his your future partner but now he doesn't know just as you wouldn't know his the one you've been praying for.
Will you bother?
Will you negotiate with God out of shame and asking questions why doesn't He make him come to you to apologize, why must you be the one initiating apology?
How will you handle this one sis?
Third question:
*Since in your previous reply you said, "What's yours is his and what's his is yours"
Let's say that both of you have a joined bank account where both incomes are paid on that account. You've seen this beautiful outfit that you really liked when trying it on in store, it suits you as if it was made on you. Its a last size remaining as you asked them to keep it aside for you... You'll be buying tomorrow.
When getting home, your hubby won't let you buy the outfit. He feels you have too many outfits that you haven't won now you wanna buy another one? You know better how to convince him but now time is not on your side since the outfit will be sold if you won't show up in store tomorrow.
What will you do sis?
Will you steal the account and buy the outfit, hide it and convince him latter?
Will you let go and forget about the outfit?
Forth question:
* Please take no offense on this one coz it concerns your age.
Looking at you age dear sis, you'll most probably find a more grown up man as a partner should you find a partner at all. let's say that your mother inlaw loves you too much for you're more like a miracle. There was no hope anymore of her son finding a mate at his age. She makes it a habit of coming to your place guys and help you in any way she can (e.g. She likes ironing your laundry). Knowing you dear sis you won't mind her since you seem very warm. Though you not happy now with how she irons your shirts and trousers. Your partner doesn't mind at all since he can't tell the difference as long as he has clean, ironed clothes to wear. All is well with him.
How will you deal with that without offending your mother inlaw?
5th question:
* Is it true that a young couple should not rush in having family but rather work on having their marriage rooted firm fore having kids too soon may threaten a new relationship with all the strain and demands that come up with the package of having such responsibility of raising kids?
The 6th question:
* This one is a little more personal. Don't answer if you don't feel comfortable to...
Through out your journey with Christ what was the most worst challenge that you feel since it didn't take you away from God nothing ever will?
7th question:
* What lesson did you take from the previous marriage that you feel you'll have to implement on your future marriage, inspite of the relationship failing... That was still the best thing to apply?
Those should last you for few days till I come back. Will surely miss you dear!
God bless you Sisygirl! I want to simply say that at the moment I haven't found a good enough reason to part from CDFF! I've enjoyed the forums immensely and have thoroughly enjoyed the friendships I've made! And yes one that has meant a great deal to me.........well yours of course(smile)lol!!!
Now as for your seven questions, the first being "beauty with purpose"(I also want to let you know that I'll be answering each question as time allots. I hope that works for you), a young Christian women should, at ALL TIMES, carry herself with the mindset of representing the kingdom of heaven! From her make-up to her clothing, to how she interacts with people. It's also about being comfortable in her own skin, allowing her God given inner and outer beauty to speak for itself.......just a little of what I've learned from my awesome journey in Him(smile)! Be blessed as you take time away from CDFF.....until question #2.......
Some of these questions should be on ask a guy. Taking a large sum of money from the joint bank account and lying about it to buy an outfit isn't very Christian and is asking for trouble.
I can't believe that an item of clothing would be so great that you would risk harming a relationship for it.
Would be more sensible to sell some of the outfits you don't wear and buy another outfit later on. There is always another item around the corner.
As for the argument, well most relationships have them and the longest on I had (7 years) got off on the wrong foot. We were still arguing 7 years later so maybe I should have given that one a miss??
"Getting off on the wrong foot with a potential mate".......ummmmm well to tell you the truth my friend, having a disagreement with anyone, much less a love interest, has to be governed by the same rules, laws and principles God has already put in place thru and in His word:
---Ecclesiastes 7:9..."Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
---Ephesians 4:31...."Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
It takes two to tango, yet it takes just one to humble themselves, repent and apologize whether they were at fault or not! Sometimes it just takes looking at the big picture in a situation, to do a small thing.....like simply saying "let's agree to disagree or that I'm sorry".....period! And yes being "bothered" to settle a disagreement with that possible significant other, no matter what the grievance, would always be worth it in the long run! Specially if we've gone thru a great deal to find one another(smile)! Be blessed child of God.
Ummmmm....."what's yours is his and what his is yours".....well friend when I think of this concept, I think of two people, who by the grace of God, has now become one! They now realize that by becoming "one" in Him, what they possess, first came from The Lord and now has "doubled" so to speak, giving Him more honor and more glory!
Now about that outfit, the joint bank account and the decision to buy or leave that outfit behind......let's just say that if my closet has new outfits, more than likely my mate bought for me, that haven't yet been worn......I could let that desired outfit go, along with all the ill feelings and discord between myself and my spouse, if I took money, unknowingly of my spouse, to buy it! I truly want peace in my household, when given the opportunity!
Most men say "a happy wife means a happy life", but I feel just as strong....."a secured spouse is a content spouse"(smile)! Stay well and kept in Him my friend.
According to the beauty. How you can influence others is by staying simple, natural and being decent but of good taste. And simply with your smile because you never know someone may fall for it :)
Then according to the one which you know is made for you, if you feel you must go and apologise maybe you must ( but be careful of Satan's deception too) but if it's meant to be, God will make a way. Even if he doesn't know it yet, if it's him God will lead you to you. I red that men must conquer the hearts of women not the contrary.
For the experience that i had that made me feel that if i could overcome it and i made me feel i could overcome everything. It was with my ex, it was a real nightmare, sometimes i was thinking that it was too much to bear. But i can't say that if i overcome this i can overcome everything what i can say is that Jesus is my strength and as long as he's my protector i can overcome anything.
4th question......"how would I not offend my potential mother-in-law?"........well love more than likely at our ages, and if my spouses mother were still alive, which btw mine still is at 92 years young, I doubt very much that she would be in any shape to come to our home to do any domestics:ROFL:!!!!
But seriously, if that was the case and my mother-in-law felt the need to be that much a part of our lives, then after discussing things with my husband and of course praying about it, we'll more than likely sit her down and let her know that she doesn't have to tire herself so.......when she comes to our home she should be the one catered to and pampered......I don't know about most folks, but that's the type of "mother-in-law" I've been exposed to most of my life:rolleyes:!!!
I'm almost certain she won't be "offended" when we both express our want......in fact she'll probably be happy she won't have to come over and work so hard.....but now will we eventually regret our decision......well, we'll just have to play it out and see(smile)!! Be blessed!
Thank you so much friends for sharing your thoughts on these questions. There's something I learned from each reply.
Marcause
What I learned from your two different replies is... First one is from my previous question to Joy about waiting in prayer for one who still wonders away from God. You shared an interesting experience from your previous relationship about changing from the person that you've been to what your partner preferred you to be.
"You don't really know all the qualities a person has until you have been with them for a while in a number of testing situations"
That's very true dear! The reason I asked this question and persisted by taking it to a guys forum was not because I don't know that we must not commit with unsaved fellows. Your reply is inline with reasons I asked this question. At times the very saved ones whom we think we're better off with them cause they know God could just be as bad if not worst than the ones who are not yet saved. "Eventually I wasn't the same person she met and she got fed up.
I'm not saying that I'm bitter and wouldn't make the effort to please someone again"
In doing that don't lose yourself while trying to please the next person who should have accepted you just as you are.
The other lesson i've taken from you from the resent post is more of a confirmation.
Starting on a wrong foot:
I was told that, the same way the relationship begins determines its end result. I wasn't amazed that 7years later you were still arguing with your lady partner. I find it amazing that the relationship lasted for 7years. That's a very long time for people who were arguing frequently.
Thank you for writing back and sharing some of your personal experiences.
You shared something during our personal chat that kept me searching how could I have contributed in breaking up, when saying "Guys that we broke up with are not bad at all. They were just not good for us" I'm wondering if it wasn't the other way around in a sense that maybe "we ladies were not good for them" but that's not relevant to our discussion here hey...?
Beauty with purpose
"You can influence others by staying simple, natural and being decent but of good taste. And simply with your smile" Well said dear sis. Simplicity and decency is always a way to go. Being at our nature is the most best we can ever offer and ever be.
"Then according to the one which you know is made for you..." Allow me to ask you this please dear: Are people really meant for other people OR God presents opportunities of meeting with people who are in line with our desires and plans then its all up to us in what we decide to do with those presented opportunities as wether we take advantage of them or not?
This has been a constant question i've been asking my self. In early days of a new relationship when its still nice people feel and even confess that, they were made for each other. Some take this as far as getting married. Few years later when true colors have shown as Marcause have said it take numerous experiences of trials for ones true qualities to manifest,
Few years later, both parties feel that maybe this wasn't meant to be from the first place. That's when breaking up is considered. What happened to previous words that were said out of happiness and cheerfulness, "We were meant to be..."
Please take no offense darling sis. Its just a question i've been asking myself lately, if we are ever meant to be with someone or its an opportunity that God presents after i've made known to Him what I need from a partner. An opportunity that will pass me by if I didn't take tone of it and make good use of.
In regard with the most worst experience that you've overcame:
"But i can't say that if i overcome this i can overcome everything what i can say is that Jesus is my strength and as long as he's my protector i can overcome anything" Fully agree with you! If Christ is for us... Who can be against us?
Thank you soooooooooo much Sand for taking time writing back to me. Its always great hearing from you. I have told you that my heart has opened up and made acceptance for you hey...? :nahnah:
Looking forth in hearing more of your thoughts with the further question I asked you. There's nothing wrong with your reply on 'Starting on a wrong foot' you just trigured a question i've resently had in my mind. Educate me please through your thoughts!
You've done a great job in answering questions you've been able to answer up to this far. And yes dear you're welcome to take all the time you need in writing back.
"I want to simply say that at the moment I haven't found a good enough reason to part from CDFF! I've enjoyed the forums immensely and have enjoyed the friendships I've made...well yours of course!"
It always feels great when one is assured that the feeling is mutual. It inspires one if not both parties to put effort in keeping the friendship going. You mean just as great in me as you said I mean to you.
You came and shined your light through contributions you've made ever since you got here. And yes I have been asking a lot of questions from you directly with more questions to come ofcaurse. Thank you for every post you've written back to and shared your insight on it.:peace:
In regard with you replies, i'm gonna start by question number4 'not offending your mother in-law'
I first wanna say that you're very blessed Joy to have a 92year old mother. And most definitely your mother in-law will be around that age too if she'll still be alive which we hoping she'll be in this regard.
I have a 96year old grandma who couldn't keep her hands to herself even in her 80's until now that she's lost her eye site. My current mum often felt terrible when my grandma came for visits. She didn't understand that her mother in-law is like that. She'll always find something to do. Either she offers to peal your veggies for your convenience when you cook, not the way that you'd want them to be hey. :excited:
We'd let her do things her way and laugh about it when she's gone.
She didn't mind ironing. As long as her ironing board would be adjusted to her height when sitting down. Or she does her needle work while rhyming a long song without lyrics. I really miss her now as telling you about her. She's very strong for her age though she doesn't do any of these things now that she can't see anymore and always complaining about joints being painful. We call her 'hard body' when joking with her. She doesn't mind when she's in a good mood, she laughs along. :ROFL:
It took a while for my mum to be comfortable around her. Think she kinda felt 'lazy' seeing a grown up always doing something. This is what inspired this question to you, which you answered very well. I also think this will be better handled if both you and your partner talk to her as you said you will after you've prayed about it ofcourse. After all she does deserve to be pumped.
Was really taken by your thinking on this one as I was reading your replies. That's why I wrote to you on this question before I can do on other replies. Till I write to you again,.... Stay blessed!!
