Is he worth the effort or you'll consider the saved one?
What if you do meet a fellow of your kind inperson. As time passes by you realize that he does meet ALMOST all your requirements, he only misses this one important non-negotiable requirement.... Salvation. He loves God (fore some lost souls do love God, they don't even know that they're lost souls, let alone knowing what a lost soul is) with potential of being won over to God if only someone would avail him/her self to usher him in how to go about accepting Christ and living a holly lifestyle most of all. It doesn't necessarily have to be you pursuing this ministry, fore it may seem like you wanna have him saved so you can be in a relationship with him, when salvation is far more of a big deal than you having a relationship with him. And we all know that, this has never worked for most ladies who tried winning guys over to God so they can have relationship with them without guilt.
Would you invest time interceding for him that he eventually gets saved inspite of years it may take him to? (that will mean you have to be patient and wait upon the Lord)
Or you'll give it up and go for the next available guy whose already saved, but doesn't meet all your requirements too, just like the one not yet saved. The only advantage with this one is that his already saved?
Oh my sister, my friend.......as a Christian considering being in an unequally yoked relationship, is first and foremost, unacceptable!! I've been there, done that! And trust me, the lure of being with someone who has every wonderful quality you desire but are not sold out to and for Jesus, is a disaster waiting to happen!
Personally I now do all I can to not encourage that type of situation. If I've met someone who seems to have the qualities I admire in man, yet find out later they're not saved, I will first seek God's guidance as to what He'll have me to do because He may have a purpose for our lives meeting. However knowing that The Lord would not place me in an unequally yoked union, I'd then proceed either offering friendship or unfortunately severing ties altogether.
Bottom line......as a sold out, born again believer in Christ Jesus, there can be no compromises in my choice of a life partner! I've learned to much from past relationships and I certainly don't want to make some of the same mistakes again....just my 3 cents(smile)!
I understand and fully agree with you sis, hence I said "This has not worked for most ladies who tried winning guys over to Christ so they can be in relationships with them."
Let me try and explain my question again dear. Both guys here are not meeting all your requirements from a man. The difference with them is that, the other one is saved. The other one is not yet saved. With the one unsaved, he only misses salvation, though he doesn't know that he's a lost soul since most lost souls don't know that they are lost souls until saved.
The main question is:
Will you bother praying and waiting for the unsaved one, that he gets saved someday? (keeping in mind that, this may take longer than you may anticipate with years passing by while waiting on him)
Or you'll just settle for the saved one who's also not 100% up to your expectations from the man. The only advantage with him is that his already saved?
I hope there's clarity now in this, if not you're most welcome to ask for explanation.
Do expect another question from me in continuation of this. Will make time later to type your question.
Thank you sis for partaking in this. Again I fully agree with your first reply
Here's your continuation question sis. Its a little different from the first one of choosing to either wait for an unsaved fellow who only lacks salvation, waiting in prayer with hope of finally being won over to Christ NOT only so you two pursue a relationship. But rather for the sake of him being saved.
Or choosing the saved one who also miss some of your requirements, what scores him more points versus the other one is that his already saved. You won't have to wait.
����������������������������������
Your second question continuing from the above questions is:
Let's say that you have been in a relationship with either of the two above guys that you'll choose to settle for. (you 'settling' cause both don't meet your requirements, you're ultinating here, either through prayer till one was saved or you went for the saved one on the spot)
Let's say you eventually find your pace with your chosen partner, for example the unsaved one ends up being saved. What was a stumbling block between you to is no longer there. The issue now is that too much time passes by without him saying anything about taking things to the next level. Both parties are in love and relating very well in all areas of your relationship that you've been exposed to. Your only concern is having your time waisted in countless dates with no progress.
How do you find out his intentions by having you in his life without coming across as if you putting pressure on him to marry you?
You only concerned about having your time waited when infact you're just as much to be blamed since you've been availing yourself for dates and prayer times with him.
How will you try find out what his plans are with you without reflecting pressure?
Ok Sisygirl, I'll make this simple.....if I was involved with a believer and he had most of the qualities I'd require in a possible life mate, I'd stick with him and continue to pray God's perfect will for us both! If The Lord placed us both in each others lives, his or my "qualities" for that matter, would probably be the least important factor God used to bring us together!
Waiting on the unsaved brother to submit himself to The Lord, as you stated, could take a long time. And the original title to your post...."keeping in mind we're not getting any younger"......for me personally, is quite relative(smile)! A younger sister in The Lord may feel differently. This all still boils down to where an individual is in their lives, personally and spiritually.
How profound is your reply, especially the first paragraph.
This is why I enjoy pushing you to your limits Joy, in this i get the best of you sis. Thank you dear!
I now learned its less of each ones qualities, but rather more of God's purpose by bringing you two together. Would have missed that if I didn't push you to that extra mile.
Thank you dear sis, i'm learning so much from you.
You have to remember that people aren't products that you buy off the shelf at a store. You don't really know all the qualities a person has until you have been with them for a while in a number of testing situations.
I've been with what I thought was a really nice woman who would lovingly point out my faults. Over time she would tell me she was pleased with my improvements and point out more ways I could be better.
Eventually I wasn't the same person she met (not with her) and she got fed up, when I was recovering from some surgery she left me to rot. As much as I loved her I'm glad we didn't get married, she isn't as devout to Christianity as me and she wasn't there when I needed her.
I'm not saying that I'm bitter and wouldn't make the effort to please someone again, but the perfect person you think you want probably isn't.
If you like the Christian man go with him but be careful not to try and turn him into something you don't really want. As for the other guy, well he is on his own journey, pray for him but not your own desires.
Darling, according to you he meets all your requirements but as Christian the most important thing is God, we can talk about Him all day long so the one we are to spend the rest of our lives must have the same passion for Christ, someone we can share our faith and can understand and agree. How miserable our life can be when we can't share this things with the most loved one.
However God can change a heart by seeking His only will because He only knows the future..
