Author	Thread: What's the point of superficiality?
Admin	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 7 Nov, 2013 02:22 PM I wonder what is the point in online dating if you are going to dismiss 98% of people for whatever superficial reason, then magically expect that the guy/girl who looks like a perfect 10 is also a good person/christian? I mean why don't you just join a modeling dating site and also expect there that she/he is a good person or christian after picking them? You will be more honest with yourself and save yourself the headache of hurting others along the way... Many people here truly expect their match to unrealistically have it all together. Personality wise, looks, financial , spirituality and if the person struggles with one of these POOF they are gone. These are not Christians, real Christians know we live in a sinful world where perfection does not exist.You can tell when they stop emailing you as soon as they know you still don't have a job, or you don't like a hobbies they adore or just because your eyes are not the right color, what BS is this? Are you trying to tell me you are so high in your godly horse he has this amazing person that others never got because it doesn't simply exist? You are 30 then 40 then older and still no one is good enough? I just simply feel like cancelling my account. Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 7 Nov, 2013 02:57 PM Look at it this way --- the "superficial" people are good for your cause. If you are NOT like them, then you will just stand out all the more against their backdrop. They are providing contrast. This is true for any characteristic that you can name. Each Godly trait has an ungodly contrasting trait. Remember, you only need to find one person from among the crowd. When you do, you will appreciate that one person's qualities and character that much more for all of the frustration that you are going through now to find them. Nothing is meaningless -- it all has purpose. Post Reply
Hisjoymypeace View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 7 Nov, 2013 03:05 PM Well said IWA.......I agree with your post wholeheartedly! Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 7 Nov, 2013 09:07 PM I think you have other peoples preferences confused with superficiality. I have a hard time believing that you like every single person on here in that way equally and give every single guy who writes you a chance. I don't like it any more than you do, but if there's something about you they don't find attractive it's perfectly fair and right for them to move on. Sorry if that's what happened. Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 7 Nov, 2013 09:25 PM Superficiality versus depth. However, we like what we like. Post Reply
Apostelle View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 01:28 AM 1. I started working when I was 14 and saved my money. After many years, I was able to start my own business. I did this not because I wanted to be rich (Im not), but because I was born into a family that was dirt poor and didnt want my wife and kids to have the hardships I did growing up. I dont care if she is poor. 2. I have no specific personality type for which Im looking. As long as she is a devout Christian. 3. Looks mean nothing. No one looks like a supermodel at 90. Without the makeup and airbrushing, supermodels dont look like supermodels. 4. As far as "spirituality" goes, the more people that turn to God, the better. However, no one is telling you whom you can and can not marry. Why do you think you have the right to condemn others for their preferences? To quote you: "Many people here truly expect their match to unrealistically have it all together. Personality wise, looks, financial , spirituality and if the person struggles with one of these POOF they are gone. These are not Christians, real Christians know we live in a sinful world where perfection does not exist." I could just as easily say that you are not a real Christian if you do not marry an Atheist, or a Hindu, etc. Christ accepted people. Would it not be Christ-like to accept and Atheist, Hindu, etc.? Would it not be better to marry someone like that and convert them to help them save their souls? Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 8 Nov, 2013 11:19 AM Rightly said IWA, and it might seem "unfair", but it'll work out. I think it's an easy thing to fall into online, there are so many apparent options that if he/she is not PERFECT, then they move on instead of getting to know anyone. If they were a bit more humble and took a little more time to know the person, they might find out that, apart from their "list", a person might be "perfect" for them, instead of literally PERFECT. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 10 Nov, 2013 05:20 PM Apostelle I'm not condemning anyone for their preferences. I'm talking about the attitude of buyer versus seller and the highest bidder wins mentality that they wouldn't even apply in real life, because it's easier to sit in a chair and just pick on some minor flaw instead of actually getting to know that person. And what do you mean marrying someone to convert them later? That is disgusting, nowhere in the bible it says to marry unbelievers to make them believe, you talk to everyone about Jesus naturally. My point is that if someone signs up for a dating site because no one in their daily real lives is good enough for him/her there's a high chance he won't find it here either, and there is research to back that up: http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/12/online-dating-sites-make-people-seem-more-superficial/?_r=0 Post Reply
mcubed View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 10 Nov, 2013 05:38 PM Personality wise, looks, financial , spirituality and if the person struggles with one of these POOF they are gone. These are not Christians, real Christians know we live in a sinful world where perfection does not exist. What???? Number one it�s not a non-Christian that doesn�t want a leach, if they can�t support themselves. Personality? Yes, I want someone I �click� with. And the BIG ONE!!! SPIRITUAL!!! YOU BET YA HE BETTER BE A MATCH OR I DON�T HAVE TIME!!!! That�s called being over 40 and you�re in your 20�s. you are a beautiful girl, I looked at your profile. I�m not sure, and not my business where these statements come from. But when you�re older you will see it�s not a question of �Christian�, its life on life�s terms. The things you mentioned or not poof terms. Will he open the car door, does he have fat on his body, can he cook� these are POOF TERMS� what you talked about is REAL LIFE!!!! Except for looks�. Gravity hits me it seems like on a daily basis�lol Post Reply
Apostelle View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 10 Nov, 2013 08:15 PM "And what do you mean marrying someone to convert them later? That is disgusting, nowhere in the bible it says to marry unbelievers to make them believe, you talk to everyone about Jesus naturally." I never said marry someone to convert them. I was referring to the portion of your previous statement, that I quoted. Ive had many people tell me that I wasnt a real Christian because I would only marry a virgin. After all, Christ accepted everyone. God ordered Hosea to marry Gomer. Everyone has preferences. Thats just a fact of life. If you married an atheist, would you want to think his soul would be condemned? Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the point of superficiality? Posted : 11 Nov, 2013 12:02 AM Why are you still single and unattached? Because your list of preferences (must-haves, compromise-able, no-no-eww) havent been met yet (or you got jilted :hearts:). You didnt jump at the very first person who showed interest, nor would you enter into a relationship just because that person seems to be your last train out of singlehood. You value yourself, so you dont settle. So dont get angry when you fall short of somebody else's list. Its not your fault, nor is it theirs. What you see as a minor thing could be a deal-breaker to them, & vice versa. How long will you give attention to someone whom you arent really attracted to? I think Im gonna dance now. :dancingp: Post Reply

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