......is my question women of God! To not get into any great detail, this is a wonderful, true man of God.....no doubt! We've only corresponded for a short time and haven't yet met personally. I've truly enjoyed our conversations. He has enormous potential in and for The Kingdom of God....sweetly saved and if things were different I'd probably run down the alter with him.......
The problem is I'm sure that I'm not attracted to him, for my own reasons. I don't want to hurt his feelings, nor maybe, possibly miss an opportunity to have a wonderful man of God in my life, even if as just good friends! But girls you know when a man has interest in you(smile).......I know he would want to pursue a relationship that is more than just friends! HELP my sister's of God.....I just need a little sisterly advice! God bless.
Please pardon my intrusion here, I have seen your posts and respect you much for all your good questions and comments.
I f you would take one man's opinion here it is this... Just tell him the truth, keep it simple, no long explanation unless there is a question from him as to why. What you just wrote in this post to the ladies is pretty close to what would be sufficient and I realize somewhat heartbreaking for you because you do care. But saying honesty how you feel is best and he will understand. How many have you passed by on and how many women did he passed by on before meeting you and setting his sights on you do you think, hmmm? Peoples is sure funny creatures! lol
Don't think its gonna be easy to let him down, try though
Try being gentle with him without compromising clarity of your massage. Had to do this with my ex, it was tough but had to be done anyway. The longer I postponed, the harder it got.
Let me share this with you lady dear... Hope you'll find an answer.
Around 2003 I was friends with this guy. As young as we were back then, I could see potential of a wonderful husband, and a great father to he's kids. (what most ladies seek for hey)
He couldn't settle for friendship with me, when on the other hand I knew that was all to it. With time we agreed to give it a try, (He was working by then, when I was still in school). I could see that I was not a right person for him whenever a subject of committing came forth, he'd carry on about our family, our house, him meeting my family soon and me having to meet he's... Etc etc etc
In short he is those orderly type of people, who didn't wanna be dating only for the fun of it. He was clear with he's intentions, it was only a question of time and me being in school.
Inasmuch as I wanted to be with him maybe in a more friendly manner, while he wanted more. I had to initiate this conversation cause I couldn't bear leading him onn, knowing that all the things he's saying are not gonna come to pass with be in the picture (back then didn't see myself being a wife, raising kids home).
And I was postponing for a long time cause I could just see the hurt that I was gonna bring him. Eventually we've spoken about this, tension was boiling maximum during this conversation. We've broked up on the spot and I was very hurt too being compromised of such a wonderful friend who would have impacted my life positively... It had to be done, my jealousy with him wouldn't have benefited either of us cause we were in two different levels.
I had to acknowledge that he's happyness was not with me and therefore let go since he was now on my case about meeting each others family.... He wanted things done in order. Being out somewhere with me without my family knowing I was with him, was just not onn for him... While in my family once bringing someone home, that's commitment on its own, you'll never tell them about someone else again.
With time we've found our way but relating in a different level now... He got married not very long ago, that was when we've stoped communicating.
Sorry, hit the post key too soon! wanted to say also this... What a compliment it is that someone you believe is nice and for reals... plus he takes an honest interest in you on a dating site don't ya think?
I butted in on a women's question, it's me who should ask your pardon...
I also agree with you SisyGirl.. oh my! the pains we put our selves through because we are afraid of hurting not only a person we care for but ourselves too...
Gosh! wouldn't it be nice if we all could communicate our heart to another person and not have to fear loss of their like/ love or friendship or hurting them. Yup, clarity is something we have to work at, choose our words wisely and only hope the other like/loved one will have an understanding of what we are attempting to say. Men are soooo goood at that huh? lol
I failed to say that your questions a, comments and posts are most wonderful here too Sisygirl... it's a good thing to ask, talk
Sojourner, good answer...and I think it's helpful hearing from a male's perspective on this type of question.
Sisygirl, definitely understand the dilemma. I try to keep my dating private from my family for similar reasons. I just don't like the harassment or expectations.
HJMP, the last time I faced that dilemma, I thought through what to say and then sat down and said I just wasn't comfortable with continuing the relationship. That it was probably just me but I needed time to think about it more. It hurt me to say it and hurt him to hear it. After a couple weeks I felt that I had made a mistake and tried to get back with him. In just a short time he had decided it wasn't for him either. In the end, I discovered that I was right when I felt something wasn't right...I couldn't say exactly why I felt it wouldn't work, but knew I couldn't keep pretending everything was good.
You too dear are mostly appreciated by me and have made your mark in me when you shared a word of support and encouragement when I was going through my moment of hardship.
Can you believe i'm currently going through the book of Elijah just as you've advised me? Took me longer to read through it since I had many passages shared by Teach (that one she's a blessing in her own unique way).
Was hoping that when i'm done with the chapter, was gonna initiate a one on one conversation with you about that passage. God reveals different things in us over the same chapter. Was surely gonna learn something from you.
Just like the others have said its good to be straight with the other person.But try to be gentle in the best way considering that this person has been good to you.
Though rejection is rejection regardless of the way you do it,but its good to choose words that don't hurt outright.
Its advisable not to wait for too long coz the more you keep it hanging the harder it gets.
