Could you ladies please tell me how to improve my profile. And don't tell me it's fine because it's not because if it was then I wouldn't get ignored everytime I send a message.
Ok my brother in Christ........this I say with love, if this wasn't a "Christian dating site", I would have forgotten it was after reading your profile.
Your pics and bio were fine, it's just that if you were someone whose profile I had stopped to visit, I would have wanted to hear more about your faith, your relationship with The Lord! I understand the busyness of your life right know, but God willing it won't always be that way.....now is the time for you to try really hard in building your life around your faith, not the other way around! Just my two-cents......
Oh and btw, thank you for your input on the thread I started regarding reaching out to gals here at CDFF who you've always wanted to, but didn't. God bless and keep the faith!
Bro, the difference between men and women is night and day. Where we prefer side by side interaction women prefer face to face interaction.
Your profile tells a woman that all your time is invested in side by side interactions and none face to face interactions. Your profile tells a woman you dont have time for a relationship and if you do it is very minimal.
Women need significant relational interaction with their man and if they see that their is no room then they will just move past you.
You in your profile need to show a woman how you are serious about face to face interaction and this means sharing mostly how this is a reality in your life.
Your interactions with people your faith in God. Think about how you relate with people and God and share this in your profile and then see what happens.
Its alright also to share where you have failed in your interactions and where you have grown. This shows humility and that you needed understanding. Show how you are understanding.
Women in all their beautiful emotions say and do things our of conpulsion of their emiotions and they consistantly need understanding because much of the time they dont mean what they are saying.
Study the scriptures that tell about a womans needs and learn how to relate with them according to their needs and relate this in your profile.
"...and don't tell me it's fine because it's not, if it was fine I woundn't get ignored everytime I send a massage"
Fair enough dear.... Though i'm still gonna say it's fine to me with no interntions of disrespecting your above request when saying "don't tell me its fine..."
There's only one thing I disapprove in your profile, though glad again you've brought it forth upfront... "I do drink occasionally" when saying that.
One thing I've picked up in dating sites, is that you're either liked or not before you can even have your profile reviewed. In other dating sites that i'm registered with, those who send me private massages are often not showing in the page of those who viewed me. Those who view me never say anything to me. (what i'm saying may not make much sense right now, as to how can one text you without viewing your profile first. It just happens with me, i'm now familiar with it)
Can you believe that I liked you on our very first conversation few months I was registered with this site?
I still recall my 2nd question in the forum, which was "What is she doing for living" a question I asked to a guys column that caused the expected tension. That was my first time interacting with you & I picked up some much in you & was hoping that with time will maybe become friends eventually, though my focus was on LTM who made me register with site. My first question was only answered by LTM which was "What are signs of a healthy argument in a relationship?"
Before I get carried away let's come back to the main question, was only saying if one likes you, she does..... If she doesn't, she doesn't inspite of how well is your profile written.
The only thing i'll change in your profile is your profile pic. The one I like most, is the one where you're sitting on the grass, with your sun glasses on, eating a sanguage. That's a really beautiful pic.
I personally don't mind that you didn't say anything about God yet, (not that He should be the least of your description)
We tend to define our selves too much about God that we eventually don't say about our selves. I personally would want to know you, the very you Renov, keeping in mind that you're diluted by God one way or the other through your personality & character. You'll surely reflect Him through your nature with time, unlike those who shield themselves with verses, only to find that they won't reflect God in anyway after much has been said about Him when describing themselves.
One last thing I liked on your profile is your idea of a first date. The child in you just came out... In onother forum when answering the asked question, I said that "I appreciate a spontaneous person, simply cause I think i'm boring. I can do with a partner (if was fishing for a mate) whose gonna shake out the bodom in me) & your first date speaks a lot about having fun in a more active way. You said:
"Doing something we both like.... Like bungee jumping to getting a coffee later..."
I laughed when reading that paragraph.
That was something I surely need, and would not do alone.
Great having you in the forum, you ask interesting question.
Just wanna say that:
I didn't mean to offend or criticize your comment on your above reply where we had our differences concerning Renov not saying much about God on he's profile.
We all just expressing our personal views about he's profile as asked.
Sisygirl........God bless you love! At this particular juncture in my life, it takes a great deal for me to get offended(smile)lol!! This is an open forum, where everyone has an opportunity to express their opinions, whether others feel it's right or wrong.......it should NEVER be taken personally.....so we'll just continue to carry on right?...just my two cents my sister in The Lord(smile)!.......Be blessed!
Some good feedback so far. I agree with Sisygirl on the picture...use the one that you're leaning over eating a snack...that says, 'look at me' and shows your fun side. This is one of the few times I would say it's about grabbing someone's attention...you want your picture to gat a second look when it pops across the banner or in a search.
I also recommend talking about your future. You list your profession as retail/grocer...nothing wrong with that but the more important profession you have right now is being a student. I would list that in the profession and then mention what you're studying. Not that women are all materialistic, but they are looking at the potential for a reasonable, comfortable lifestyle in your age bracket...they're thinking of a future family. The picture with the baby shows you're comfortable with kids, so a family is part of your future.
Don't give up on sending messages...if you like what you see in a profile send a quick hi. Consider what you're writing, too. There are so many scammers that many women are skeptical from any message received. Make sure it isn't too bold or too generic.
Online dating is as difficult as meeting people at school or church or anywhere else...at least if you hi to someon you pass on the street they generally will at least acknowledge you. The right woman is worth the wait! Keep saying hi.
Thanks for all the input everyone. I found all of your outside perspective quite helpful.
I haven't had this version of my profile for long and didn't realize I didn't say ANYTHING about my relationship with God in there and I feel quite sheepish about that. I shy away from doing so for a couple reasons, but you're right I really should find a way to say SOMETHING about it in there and say what it means to me without sounding too jargony or ambiguous.
I also agree I spend too much time just talking about work and being busy and that it isn't really a selling point. I noticed this when I copied and pasted my profile to another site and found myself retooling it and expounding on other areas to make it show that's not all there is to me. I like the other profile pretty well and will most likely change it over to that trying to add some of the modifications you suggest and ask what you think of that one.
Also, that's an oyster I'm eating in the one pic. :laugh:
Changes pending...
Thanks again for your perspective and have a blessed one! :glow:
Well, from my perspective, of all the guys that have come and gone on these forums, I'm really the most surprised that you're still a single man(no homo). I'm pretty sure you were in the military, and I'm confused as to why that's not mentioned in the profile, that is a pretty big attraction factor for a lot of girls I know. I don't really have anything to add to the reviews except that the profile seems a bit wordy and a bit "safe". "Safe" isn't bad, but it does blur with all the other profiles that are out there, you need some more personality and humor to make it unique. "Wordy" isn't bad either, but you need to leave some "surface" information in the dark as material for the first few conversations. Also, it's important that you label yourself a nice guy, extremely important, but it's also beneficial to play a "jerk" a little, just make sure it's obvious that you're being humorous.
I sort of down play the military thing for a few reasons such as when I was in I'd get rejected because I was in the military, it's not a resume, too ambiguous, too easy to be labeled as just that, it's in the past and Im more interested in what's happening now and don't want to be one of these guys that gets out and that's all they ever talk about because they're still living in the past rather than the present, it's too easy to overplay that little factoid and to expound on it or go into it properly just perpetuates that and places disproportionate importance on something that isn't even relevant anymore. So for all those reasons I just mention it in passing and if they want to come back to that and hear old war stories then that's cool.
As to why I'm still single I mostly attribute that to moving around a ton and everything being so inconsistent and constantly learning how to balance and adjust to my new circumstances. I haven't lived in the same place for longer than a year and a half for the past 8-9 years so that makes it difficult. I should be where I'm at now for a while though so that'll be good.
It is pretty wordy I'll give you that, but that su,cks that it reads as too nice or boring. Not sure what to do about that. I hate that nice gets such a bad rap in this. I love nice and considerate people. They're a rare breed and hardcore. The height of what it means to be a complete person in my estimation.
