Author	Thread: Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected?
Admin	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 19 Aug, 2013 11:09 PM So I asked a girl at work that I liked out for coffee, she said yeah and gave me her number but then she said later that we'd just be going as friends, then later she said it'd be cool if we got a whole group together from work. I wasn't comfortable with that so said "no thanks". Maybe that was her way of rejecting me maybe not but I think it was. Since then there's been no phoning or texting and when we see each other at work I keep the talk as mono syllable brief as I can. She acts friendly towards me and seemed flattered when I asked, but every time I see her I feel so stupid, embarrassed, flooded with self doubt and doubt about her and its all I can do to act pleasant and polite when I do happen to run into her or have to be around her. Otherwise I avoid her and not try to get to know her better and go out of my way to talk/flirt/banter with her like before. Seeing her used to be the highlight of my day but now it's the absolute worst. Even though she's nice, it still eats at me. My sister told me it's good that it wasn't instant or outright rejection and to not avoid her because women hate that. So my question to you ladies is why do women hate that and why should I care if THEY'RE THE ONES WHO REJECTED ME? In general what do you think I should I do with this situation? I'd really like to know why you women hate it when guys avoid you after you reject them though. It's not like you thought that much of them anyway. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 20 Aug, 2013 03:10 AM What if and women do this....what if she was testing you to see if you genuinly wanted a relationship with her and if being friends would be enough? What if she really had interest in you and wanted to see your reactions to her only wanting to be her friend. After all isnt relationship based on a great friendship? What if you confessed how stupid you are and that you would really appreciate being her friend. It that is all she needs and wants from you. What if she really needs a good friend? What if being a friend is all you ever have but you develop a great friendship with her? Can you loose? What if you are not mature enough to be friends with a woman and this is a great oppertunity to learn? I know I had to learn in my adult years, how about you? Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 20 Aug, 2013 09:56 AM Renov8elev8 Some questions are good considering they coming from guys. Your sister saying "it was better since it wasn't instant or outright rejection..." Well I think, Rejection is rejection inspite of how civil it was manifested, though it seems a little confusing reading body language, one terns to get mixed massages. Things are always better spoken of instead of assuming what the other part could be saying. "..... And why should I care (if she Hates it) since she's the one who rejected me?" Fair enough, Though we're not really sure if she really rejected you foresure. Weman react differently to scenarios, some will test you if you'll be patient enough to pessist, Some want you to kinda earn her (not necessarily begging her for love) While on others it simply is a question of her not being in the position that you're currently in. Often times we ladies respond to what you're initiating to us, in as much as our reactions are more based on how you guys act towords us. I know that I could not be answering your direct question right now, which is "why do woman hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected?" which I really think its a good question. I personally don't give mixed massages. My "no" today on a certain issues/subject will remain no in future to come. I don't behave this way when I mean that other thing. This one time I was inlove with a total stranger (once shared this story.) I have no interntions of falling in love or being in a relationship right now, though i've fallen for this guy whom i've seen daily when traveling to work. It got hectic with time, to a point of sleepless nights. Had to put an end to it right away or continues compromising with this pressure of keeping this secret. I approached him head on & told him how I felt. Didn't care how he takes me afterwards. I was the one struggling with sleepless nights over him when he had he's peaceful sleeps. Had to clearify that I wasn't seeking for a relationship or else I would have nourished these feelings, I only wanted to be set free from them & that was only through communication. Your question depends on individuals & how they'd prefare being persuede & won over. Hope this helps a bit. Post Reply
mcubed View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 20 Aug, 2013 05:25 PM I don�t think she rejected you. My opinion as a woman� she wanted to get to know you more but in not such an intense setting as one on one. If you passed the hanging out test you would get the one on one. Maybe she is uncomfortable and not sure of herself and didn�t want to feel rejected herself on a date. Group first dates aren�t all bad if you�re having a bad time with the person� you are with friends. I don�t see the problem. You won�t be a bad time will you? If not, after that asks her on a �date�, date. Then see if you�re rejected. You�re not rejected yet� it�s a feeler. I really believe that!!!! Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 20 Aug, 2013 06:57 PM Exactly dear, I too doubt he was rejected as yet. The lady wanted to play it safe at first site, Then take it from there for further dates & one on one conversations inperson. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 21 Aug, 2013 04:36 AM This kind of thing is the very problem with us men. To reactive.... No woman wants a reactive man. I recomend that you learn how to controll your emotions first. Your reaction to her probally will be the very thing to keep you from a possible relationship. Women want a strong secure man. You have the oppertunity now to be sorry for reacting to her and ask her again. I will tell her that you reacted to her and she might have more respect for you at least being honest with her. What woman in relationship who will always find some way to reject her man and they dooooooooooo. Wants a man who will withdraw from her when she does? I have been in multiple relationships and this one is no different. Every woman in her own way has rejected me. This is not intentional though, it is a reality. When we men learn how to not react to a woman's rejection to us and give care in return rather than rejection to her....then you have the oppertunity to lead a good relationship. Think of it in the terms of Christ and His bride. We reject Christ and what does He do? Reject us in turn? NO no no... He continues to love us..... Men, find a woman who you can love in trun when she rejects you then you found a winner!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 21 Aug, 2013 12:49 PM Good answers all. Meditate on this I shall and try to make it less awkward when we run into each other, but I think I'll just have to chalk it up under it wasn't meant to be. There's other fish in the sea. Thanks for the input. Post Reply
ChristianArtsy View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 22 Aug, 2013 09:27 AM @Renov "she said yeah and gave me her number but then she said later that we'd just be going as friends" I don't see the 'date', so I don't see rejection. Assuming from the way you wrote that part of your comment, she made it clear that it wasn't a date before you went out. Perhaps she did realize that you wanted this outing to be a date or that you were interested in her in a way that she wasn't or perhaps she was interested and changed her mind; which is fair. At any rate, these things can be confusing and frustrating, no-the-less, they do happen. IMO its most important to put what happened into perspective which also includes separating whatever you may fee. Be honest with yourself and ultimately leave it behind rather than base, judge or decide; "all women will...." PS.. don't know if this applies but: if part of the issue is that you paid the bill... one might suggest dutch when it has been determined that an outing isn't a date.. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 22 Aug, 2013 05:05 PM Well the dialogue went Me: Do you have a boyfriend?; Her: No; Me: Want to go out and get a drink sometime?; Her: Yeah. :) And then she gave me her number. Then later she asked if it could just be as friends because she was a senior that year and wanted to focus on school and not be in a relationship and then later when I texted about meeting up she brought up the group from work deal. So she knew it was a date originally. I thought it was her trying to make it as awkward as possible so that I'd just back out and she wouldn't have to actually reject me. Anyway, here's the follow up: I texted her last night for the first time since we decided not to go out and said to the effect that I wasn't proud of how I was reacting and would work on being more kind and gracious towards her like she'd been to me and she replied that she was caught off guard when I asked and was talking to another guy who is now her boyfriend and she didn't know how to respond. Assuming that's true, I'm wondering if I had reacted better if that would've made a difference. Like maybe my negative reaction just pushed her to him. Maybe it would've made a difference, maybe it wouldn't have, but I do know it didn't help. Anyway, all I can do now is learn from this so I don't make the same mistake next time. Oh the joys of being a guy. It's disappointing, but I'm not too bummed out about it because at least she leveled with me, which is extremely rare for women to do in my experience and I respect her more for that. Also classes as ASU started today so there's some new hope and plenty of opportunity there to meet people that hasn't existed prior so I'm grateful for that too. There's actually a gathering for Christians there that I'll probably be going to later tonight so I'm looking forward to that. Moving on... Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 22 Aug, 2013 06:11 PM Renov Atleast there's clearity now than the previous times when we were guessing what she could have meant/intended by behaving in a certain way, Which goes back to what I first said by body language & assuming what the other part could be saying, when she could be meaning something different from what you're assuming. Talking things through (which may not always be comfortable & easy, depending on the discussed subject) is often the best way cause now both parties are able to move forth with closure/clarity from questions held before the last conversation. Best wishes on your seach my brother With time your suitable mate will come along. :rocknroll: Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do women hate it when guys avoid after getting rejected? Posted : 22 Aug, 2013 07:13 PM Many thinks for the encouragement sisygirl, that's kind of you. I really do think she would've said yes if there wasn't this other thing she had going. Ever since I asked her out her body language totally says she likes me now, like she almost melts, she quivers, gets shallow breaths, has a huge smile, her eyes twinkle, it's crazy, but there's this other direction she'd already nearly committed to- and now has, so that's that. I think she was just conflicted and didn't really know how to handle it. Who knows what the future holds, but I'm not getting any younger. Gotta move on. Post Reply

First

Page : 1 2 3

Next  10 >>

Last