I'm at the stage where I often find myself having to explain "why isn't there anyone yet (boyfriend/husband) in my life at my age?"
This happens even in the church, those elderly mothers' that I respect, they also ask me "what's happening with me, cause i'm beautiful & doing well (only they know what do they mean by that) but years have passed by & they've been expecting someone & nothing's happening?"
Not to mension family members. I recall one Christmas lunch was almost ruined (at least for me & my girl cousins who are at my age & still single with no babies)
Is it such a bad thing being 29years, single, with no child?
Is success/progress measured by ones age, number of kids & having someone in life as husband/boyfriend?
What if starting family's just not in your list of priorities for now? You'd rather focus on self empowerment & investments? We're individuals with different priorities & prefarences. Why is ones priorities viewed wrong cause it doesn't seems normalwith what most people expect of you?
Are you girls going through this phrase especially after the age of 28?
Absolutely I am in the same boat as you seem to be. I'm 31.
I often wonder about what others in my hometown, my family, or my church growing up mean by their comments when I go to visit about me not finding someone yet.
Do they mean that I am not worth anything because I haven't nailed down a husband yet and haven't procreated? I wonder if there is a thought in the church community that single women (and not necessarily single men, or maybe to a lesser degree) should be pitied and don't have anything to offer the church community.
Just a few things that roll around my head every time I hear the nicely asked question "Are you dating anyone?" "Have you found someone?"
I have gotten to the point where I don't let it bother me after a few minutes of thinking about it. Once in a while I will call my mom out on it, and she always says that she just wants what is best for me. I really want to be great at my job. I really want to be part of a community of people. I am happy where I am. I am happy with where I am (I thought I would say that twice).
I don't know if I will ever find that person that God has for me, or if there is someone out there for me. I guess I am at the point where I will take whatever happens next and roll with it. I often tell people that God will have to slap me upside my head in order for me to know that this is the guy for me, and I hope he does it!
I knew a missionary woman who worked at the camp my parents work with who was unmarried until she was 65 and had retired . . . she found him in the retirement community where she moved. She had the same sort of struggles as I am having now . . . but she worked in a ministry, and made it through . . . God found her a man after all that. She is awesome and inspiring to me.
Keep it up! I know what you are going through, and you are not alone. I struggle with my responses to nice people's questions all the time . . . I just smile and make a joke :) See if that works for you, and then have someone you can talk it over with later . . . always helps me :)
You've touched something I sometimes wonder about...."what if there's no one meant for me?" I have wondered few times about that question too.
God says "Our ways are not He's ways & He's thoughts are not our thoughts" He says again "Many are mens' plans but only He's (God's) plans prevails"
I'm reminded of a passage that I went through once in the bible, can't seem to find it anymore. There was this lady in that passage, God had a plans of a ministry for her to persue but she had other interest & plans for her life. She wanted to get married.
She argued with God since she had other plans for her life, until they came up with an agreement, that she was gonna enjoy her marriege for a period of 7yeas, then submit to God's calling. Indeed she got married but her husband passed on 7years later.
In short: what if one is not even meant for some things, when getting such questions & pressure from people who know God, I don't expect such from elders in the church? Lattley its as if you worth nothing or you're not progressing cause people your age have what you don't have. What you may not be interested in having at this point in time, maybe in time to come.
Thanks girl i'll find someone to talk to about this
apologizes for jumping in here ,as it is "ask a girl"...
having been a guy for a long time i can assure You,
the guy that you are looking for has been there all along,you just dont see him because he is "not what YOU are looking for." but He is there looking at You,seeing You,adoring You from afar,just waiting for that opportunity,
where He can interact with You,if only for a moment,
but YOu need to understand,He sees the relationship as perfect already,and doesnt want to mess it up by talking,or anything like that....
Thanks for your comment, but I know that I was not talking about the actual boyfriend person who is staring at us . . . I was commenting on the original post about the comments we as single women over the age of 28 get on why we aren't in a relationship "yet".
I don't think this thread on the forum is about the man we are searching for . . . it is more about how we are to deal with the friends and family who are concerned that we haven't found a man yet.
Why is it bad that we don't have a man? Why should our priorities of doing well in a job or giving of ourselves as single women be looked down on or pitied? That was what my take on the original post was all about. That is how I responded.
I am certain that I was not speaking about finding a man . . . not at all.
But thanks for you comment, maybe this thread was not clear enough?
This to wild erness...i like the way you have responded and advised the lady on the original post.I'm surprised to learn that this happens all over the world i thought it only happens in Africa.
Don't allow yourselves to be desperate.
You are important people with or without husbands and when the time comes for you to desire marriage then God will provide a good husband.
You've touched something I sometimes wonder about...."what if there's no one meant for me?" I have wondered few times about that question too.
maybe i am old school but if i recall? ," the woman makes the man." is the saying,as i understand it,a good woman can make a bad man good,and a bad woman can make a good man bad,but a good woman can make a good man great....
