Author	Thread: Dating someone from your church: Yes or no?
IaoKim View Profile History	Dating someone from your church: Yes or no? Posted : 21 Aug, 2012 09:23 PM For those of you who saw my last topic (or didn't), this topic is an update of that one. Thanks again to those who posted on my last topic, hearing perspectives from both sides is always very helpful. As an upcoming lawyer and just as part of my personality, I tend to analyze things a lot haha. I am still leaning toward taking a few weeks to month of group activities before asking her out. She rarely dates and is serious about waiting for the right guy so I don't want to scare her off by asking her out too soon. Things went really well when I saw her on Sunday. Good conversation and chemistry--not awkward at all. We pretty much picked right up from the last time we saw each other. And there was positive body language from her direction so there seems to be at least an opportunity to lay a foundation and ask her out relatively soon (I'm hoping within a month or two at most). As I mentioned earlier in my last post, I am in the process of looking for a church home now that I have moved (I had previously been attending church in another town). In the past I have dated girls that go to the same church and while church can be a great place to meet new people it can be really awkward if you end up dating someone and it doesn't work out. You can't have that clean break because you will still see that person every week if not more in various church activities. My experiences with this has lead me to have a no dating girls from my church policy. Objectively, I really like the church that this girl goes to and would probably go there even if this girl weren't in the picture. It is small and traditional with a decent handful of relatively young adults. If I decide to attend there regularly it would be a great way to get to know this girl in preparation for asking her out . On the other hand, if things don't work out I'm left in a very awkward position at the church. In this case, it would be even more awkward because her dad is the pastor and she has married brothers who go to the church as well. I'm leaning toward forgoing my usual no dating girls I go to church with policy in this case, but I always like to hear other perspectives. Your thoughts? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Dating someone from your church: Yes or no? Posted : 22 Aug, 2012 12:26 PM You make some good points. I've seen those awkward break-ups happen, and they aren't fun. However, you have just started visiting there. It's not like you have already put down roots. You liked it, though, so you have a legitimate reason to keep going there. If things don't work out with the girl, and you feel that it would be awkward to keep attending there, you can choose to visit other churches at that time. No one is forcing you to stay at that church. Besides, you might discover that you don't like it as much once you've had a little more time there. Post Reply
IaoKim View Profile History	Dating someone from your church: Yes or no? Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 09:30 PM Yeah, I agree. I'm planning on going for a second visit not this Sunday, but the one after that. I want to visit more churches and see if the Lord wants me to go a different direction before I make the final decision to attend there regularly. Either way I am still going to go for it after I get to know her a little better over the next few weeks. The biggest problem I'm having is coming up with ideas to hang out with her in-between church. Like I've mentioned, I've been gone for seven years and all my close friends now live everywhere, but Jacksonville so getting group activities together to invite her to are hard to come by. I'm putting myself out there, volunteering, going to events, etc. to meet new people but it is going to take some time to get my social life up and running haha. And I don't want to overdo hanging out with her group of friends and come across as needy or desperate with no social life of my own. We'll see how it plays out, one step at a time. Strategy and tactics haha. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating someone from your church: Yes or no? Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 10:06 PM I'm not entirely for awkwardness in particular brining contingency to commitment to a church. My thoughts? A great church is a great church. And a great church is only great for God's action in it; in the hearts and minds and actions of people. Jesus is God's power enough to cover awkwardness for all, in addition to our sin. Besides, I'm sure that you and this girl both are going to walk into eternity whether things go 'well' or not. My thoughts? Yes. She seems a special case to you, anyway :D. Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating someone from your church: Yes or no? Posted : 23 Aug, 2012 10:10 PM Hm. Should have posted an hour ago. Oops. But that's good to hear, IaoKim! Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating someone from your church: Yes or no? Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 12:10 PM If things are done in a Christian way there should be no embarrassment, no matter what church you attend. The idea that you can't date a lady in your church is archaic. Maybe this comes from the aspect of not dating from the company pool which is a great idea in the secular world. If we do things as Christians in dating there shouldn't be any kind of hurt feelings but an understanding that not everyone is meant to be together. Also if God is in the picture we need to be communicating with Him as to whom ever we date; there would be a lot less hurt feeling and/or embarrassment in dating. (Tell me if I am wrong; the reason someone wouldn't want to date within their circle of friends is because perhaps they are doing something wrong to begin with................just a thought and not to be taken personal.) Post Reply
View Profile History	Dating someone from your church: Yes or no? Posted : 26 Aug, 2012 03:24 PM For me in my situation, its to the point where church is the only place I can find and meet Christian woman, besides maybe online. My worklace doesn't have many if any Christians. So I'm stuck. I don't see anything wrong wit dating woman from the same church. If things get awkward than just move on, no one said you couldnt still to talk with them anymore. Just be reasonable and talk with her about just being friends an such if things don't work out. Post Reply