Thread: scenario situation and a couple of questions follow
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scenario situation and a couple of questions follow
Posted : 21 Aug, 2012 05:14 PM
Hey ladies... I was going to post this a couple of weeks ago but one of my friends has a situation that applies to my questions. I keep this short and clear about the situation and questions.
I have a friend that is getting married to his long-time girlfriend in November. They both love each other and make decent money. She would like to have kids within one year or two of marriage and he doesn't want kids until maybe 5 or 6 years into marriage. It is really a question of timing. They have discussed this a lot and they are still unsure about when they would like to have kids. He has brought to my attention some interesting questions that he has asked me personally and I think there are good questions to ask on here as well.
1. Would you date a guy that wanted to wait on children?
2. Could a guy find a lady that love to go hiking, play pool and do general hobbies a lot etc.? I am meaning regularly each year and spend time with each other before they bring a child into the world. I know you can go have fun with children such as going to the park or amusement park but it is a lot of responsibility.
3. Does a couple's individual political views matter as far as having a long-lasting relationship?
scenario situation and a couple of questions follow
Posted : 21 Aug, 2012 06:54 PM
As far as a guy finding a lady that loves to hike and do general activities each year, ofcourse that's a "yeah" :nahnah:
Personally, from a young age I've never seen myself being a mom. Even got to a point where I've accepted the fact that I would actually be ok without children.
If infact the person for me wants kids, then I will give him that satisfaction (2 the most).
As far as how long before children, I personally want to be able to enjoy my husband and marriage with complete and utter freedom without any restraints because It helps make a marriage stronger.
but kids within 5,6 yrs? That is to long. There are benefits to being young parents because children do require a lot of energy. I don't think no one really wants to picture themselves pushing the stroller old and gray.
Like most guys I too worry about not being able to engage in the activities that I enjoy as much as I would love.
True fact:
* most women worry about their egg count and productivity
* that they are getting to old
* that they've missed the mark (year) while everyone else was on time
* children makes the marriage stronger
* children are a sign of an eternal marriage (aka: no way out!)
Either way, it will obviously work itself out if God is in the middle.
(Sorry, I tried to make it short)
The question is, how old are they? If it's under 25yrs, than they have plenty of time!
scenario situation and a couple of questions follow
Posted : 21 Aug, 2012 07:32 PM
1. Would you date a guy that wanted to wait on children?
Answer: Yes, I would. I don't want to have children within the first couple years of marriage either. Those first few years are a time to get to know each other on a different level, enjoy being newlyweds, and learn how to be a married couple. It's hard enough to do that without throwing a woman's hormones for a loop within the first year.
However, there is something else to consider. Age. The risk involved with pregnancy goes up considerably when a woman reaches her mid-30s. I'm 29. Speaking hypothetically here, if I were to get married next summer, I'd be 30. If my husband and I waited 3 years to start a family, I'd be 33 when I had my first baby. That's IF I conceived easily. If my husband was determined not to start a family for at least 5-6 years, that would put me at 35 - 36...that is getting into the riskier years. Suppose I don't conceive easily. That makes me even older. The risk to both me and the baby goes up.
The point is, a couple has to take many things into consideration when deciding when to start a family. If a couple marries in their early 20s, they have more years to play around with than a couple who marries in their 30s. If the timeline of starting a family matters to either person (and it probably will), that needs to be discussed openly and honestly, with all factors considered and both people willing to compromise as needed.
2. Could a guy find a lady that love to go hiking, play pool and do general hobbies a lot etc.? I am meaning regularly each year and spend time with each other before they bring a child into the world. I know you can go have fun with children such as going to the park or amusement park but it is a lot of responsibility.
Answer: Yes, I think so! I know a number of newlywed couples who try to spend as much time doing activities together as possible. They know that they will never get those years back, and they don't want to waste the opportunity! I hope that when I get married, my husband and I can spend a lot of time together just enjoying each others' company...whether that be on vacations, weekend getaways, day trips, date nights, working on hobbies, or just quiet evenings spent at home.
3. Does a couple's individual political views matter as far as having a long-lasting relationship?
Answer: I believe that individual political views DO matter greatly. No, it's not the most important thing, but political differences can often reflect differences in deeper beliefs and values. A couple doesn't have to vote for the same people in every election, but agreement in political views in general would indicate that the couple is on the same page in other areas as well. But maybe this is putting the cart before the horse. If a couple agrees on spiritual, ethical, moral, and financial values, they are likely to agree on politics as well.
