Thread: A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
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A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2012 03:52 AM
Brothers and Sisters,
We get all confused as to what submission is in the bible, right?
I was just posting on a thread and I had to hit the submit button. Anyone here have to hit the submit button as well?
What are we doing when we hit the submit button?
We are offering freely our thoughts and feeling on a certain topic, right?
It makes sense now and this has been my sucess in my relationship my with feincee.
She offers her advice , opinion, feelings etc to me and because I love her I consider and listen to her submitted thoughts.
Could submission be as simple as this? YES
But also from a mans point validating her submitted thoughts and from her point submitting thoughts that will easily be recieved.
Many times we out of our great need to be heard try to force our thoughts on another. This is not submission. Like here their are guidelines we are called to follow in comunicating.
For me in my relationship I want to hear her thoughts because i love her. My problem is that she many times holds back on her thoughts because she is fearful of hurting me. She tries to protect me from her feelings. I had this problem with my previous relationship.
This time I am a strong man and once she shares with me I (do not) react out of pride or feeling of rejection to her and can show her compassion and love instead.
Whenever she withholds sharing with me, she limits my being able to express love to her in what she is feeling.
Also God has called a mans wife to be his helper and if she holds back in submitting her thoughts how can she be his help?Being a Husbands helper is not going and doing it by your self. That breakes down unity and seperates you from oneanother.
But women have to remember your words need to come to us with ((((((respect)))))))). Many times your words come in derission or in a form of a command. When you come to a man without respect you will never be heard but you will only push away the man you seek to help. Your attitude toward him is everything.
This I believe is the leading cause of abuse in relationships a woman who does not know how to approace a wounded man. Women who put their men on the defense and ultimatly at war with you.
Its the difference between telling ( trying to be powerful over him) or in submission( gently submitting your advice and thoughts) A angry abusive man is a man who has been belittled all of his life and his wife belittles him as well. A abusive man is so insecure and despretly needs help from a good woman, his wife.
His abuse is his way to feel powerful because deep down in side he feels powerless. But he is to afraid to look at his powerlessness. If you ladies understood the motive behind abuse maybe you could be a better helper to him.
Its not to late to be his helper, The helper God has called you to be...
You can go to your man and ask forgiveness for your continues rejection of him and ask forgiveness for your dissrespect to him.
Men you need to go to your wife and ask forgiveness for being abusive due to your insecurities and weakness.
If a Husband or wife starts here, their is hope for you. If you need further help just ask me and i would love to do so.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2012 03:54 AM
So what is it not?
The submission of a wife to her husband.
It is NOT the husband making the final decision. In contrast to popular belief.
I will explain why.
As in the Garden where Jesus said never the less not my will but your will be done. Praying to the Father......
If their is to be unity in marriage then it HAS to be both the
( Husband & Wife) walking according to Gods will. Sometimes the wife might be in Gods will and some times the husband might be in Gods will concerning their thoughts.
So if it is about the husband making the final decision then he could be leading them outside of Gods will, Right?
This also would break down unity in the Marriage relatioinship.
So how does a (Husban& Wife) have unity in decision makeing?
They seek God together and wait for the Spirit to lead them both in unity. One mind one direction...
Make sense? Is their really any decisions that are so important that we cant wait for Gods leading any way?
So the husband leadership is to see that He walks in Unity with his wife. He does this by leading them in prayer and trusting by faith God will lead them in unity.
This is headship. A husband maintaining unity with his wife. This is submission from his wife. Submitting all of her thoughts and feelings Positive or negitive to her husband. So He can lead her in them before God and show Love to her.
A wife submitting all of her thoughts are a bennifit to the unity of Her relationship with her husband.
This is why.....Because as his helper her thoughts are valuable in their walking in Gods will. And if her thoughts are just crazy emotion with little substance then she gives her husband oppertunity to love her unconditionally.
Isnt that cool? She willl either be a help to him or she will recieve love from him.
Is submission starting to sound pretty good for you ladies, right?
Yes , it should sound very good for you ladies and good for you men also.
What man doesnt want to love his lady?
Everyone wins here. And what happens unity is preserved.
But here is the difficult part. If your not strong and secure men you will not be able to handle this responsibility. Every thing rests on our sholders.
You have to resolve your own issues so as to not react with your wife. That you will not feel attacked. I can help you with this.
I might even give you some practicle help on this thread latter. but enough to digest for today.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2012 03:56 AM
Another thing it is not.......
So we established that a wifes submission is not based on decision making that it is Gods will we have to both follow.
Now in relation to the physical here is what tha bible says.
2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
As we see here. Paul writes that their is equal rendering of ones body to their spouse. Again this is a seperate issue of the submission wives are called to express in marriage to their husbands.
So we have elimimated through Christs example that our decisions are according to Gods will and that the husband doesnt have the final say.
Its a husbands and wifes submission to God together.....
So we eliminated that it is not the physical relationship where a wife specifically submits.
It is a husband and wife freely without command giving their bodies to oneanother to protect and preserve their marriage.
I will latter show you the beauty of a woman submitting her thoughts to her husband and why it is this and the good it brings to a marriage relationship.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2012 04:10 AM
I will explain Latter how a Husband and wife make decisions together especially when you dissagree.
But for now with these thoughts to ponder.
So when a Wife submits her thoughts and feelings to her husband she is doing her part before God to obey her role in marriage as helper if she submits with respect.
Queen Ester is one such example of a woman who feared her husband but still submitted her thoughts with respect. She feared for her life. She was a woman with purpose to save the souls of her people. What woman wants to save the souls of your children?
So now men when your wife submits her thoughts you have to be strong and not react to her.
She needs your ((LOVE)).....She needs your ((UNDERSTANDING)).....This is our part that God calls us too..
We are called to love and understand our wives. Listen to her and keep listening to her until you unserstand. She might not make much sense at first because her emotions are raging.
If this is so, this is your chance to take her in your arms and just show her love. Hold her close to you...Dont be afraid men. She needs your reassurance. Lead her in prayer before God and seek peace in your hearts together.
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2012 09:11 AM
Like I said there are some good thoughts in here, but you have already been shown that the word submit is not meant to be used as you have used it. Why do you persist?
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 20 Aug, 2012 09:51 AM
If a man is in total surrender to God, he and his wife should have not problem submitting to one another. It is not all about a Wife submitting. Man and Woman should first Submit to God in everything. Praise God !
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 21 Aug, 2012 06:24 AM
We all know how quiclky communication can break down in a relationship. This is what leads to frustration and seperation.
Just as a wifes submission is her communication to her husband a husbands headship is his communication to his wife.
Submission and headship play the same roles but with differing purpose.
We know communication for the sake of communication can be harmful as well, Right?
A wife who submits her thoughts to her husband even in the most respectful way can be faced with a emotionally insecure husband who reacts at her every word.
A husband who reacts to his wife or even is not really attentive to his wife can cause her to loose heart and shut down.
Men our role in headship is being an active listener. If you uhuh your wife to death then your not really listening and she will know it.
The reality is we all know when someone is not really listening to us. Now not listening and not understanding are entirely two different things.
Husbands are called to understand their wives. To live with them according to understanding. This is a active and not passive role men.
So a wife who is met with a active understanding husband will feel loved by him. Right Ladies?
Now in your headship just as Jesus performes this with us, is to see that unity is maintained with your wife. Unity is not something forced but found.
Unity is created in an enviroment of respect, understanding, communication, moving toward oneanother and Love (agappe)
Unity is found in a couple ways in decision making, in hurt feelings....in everything. Their will be many time where unity is found through communication with your Lady but some times it wont.
This is where you as head bring you and your Lady to both of your heads.( christ) Your going to encounter time where your not going to see eye to eye. That is why you need to slow it down and seek Gods will together through prayer and reading the bible together.
Remember men to maintain unity you need to be able to see eye to eye with your wife. You not going ahead of her and she is not going ahead of you.
It is you both looking to Gods will together. Finding Gods will together. Walking according to Gods will together.
Maintaining the unity. Things looking clear for you yet?
Can you see the role of headship and submission are one and the same but with differing purpose? This makes us equal partners in the journey of life.
Now this is not a easy thng to do for many of us. For women learning how to divuldge and not hold in your many tempesterous thoughts and feelings. For us men not reacting and closing down to a woman who appears crazy.
Your now not going to be able to do this with just anyone. Your only going to be sucessful with the one God choose for you or is going to choose for you.
For some of us you have oppertunity to build a failed marriage by beginning to apply these practicle expressions. For others you have the oppertunity to look for what really matters in relationship.
For those of you who choose to remain clueless......sorry
A wifes submission, the beauty and good it brings.
Posted : 21 Aug, 2012 07:28 AM
But if a wife and husband are not in agreement about a particular subject, according to scripture, the man must lead. A wise man listens and takes his wife's thoughts, opinions, and advice into consideration, but untimately, the decision must be his. A marriage is like the church. We, as Christians, must submit to the will of God and a wife must submit to her husband. A house divided can not stand.
