Author	Thread: The "I got a friend who" question
Admin	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 23 May, 2012 07:14 AM I got a friend who believes in no physical contact before marriage. He reaffirms no sex before marriage. He also believe in no contact whatsoever (kissing, hugging, holding hands etc.). I have two questions. 1. Ladies, would you have a problem dating a guy that believe in no physical contact before marriage ( no hugging, kissing, holding hands as well)? 2. Can a relationship last without physical contact of any kind? Personally, it would resemble to me just a good friendship. I wouldn't know how to distinguish between a friendship and a romantic relationship. I think at the beginning of the relationship, a couple needs to be in agreement on a matter such as this. Personally, I met a nice christian lady on a christian dating site a while back. She really had a nice personality and we could talk about the Bible for hours. Since my minor was in theology studies, we talk a lot about theologians and theology in general. She had a lot of qualities I looked for in a relationship and possibly as a wife except she believe in no physical contact of any kind in a relationship. I respectfully disagreed. We went our separate ways. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 23 May, 2012 08:30 AM Sure it can last until marriage. If a dating relationship is only more than a friendship because of touching then maybe one should question motives. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 23 May, 2012 09:52 AM I agree with Holdingouthope. I would prefer not to kiss or make out with someone I am dating. I think holding hands is fine and even a hug to show affection but prolonged hugging and touching can get you into trouble. I know Christians who want physical intimacy and think they can control themselves with rules such as how to kiss where to touch and other such things. But how far is too far then because once you start eventually you might want more and the lines get blurred. That's called putting confidence in the flesh. So for me I'd refrain and not test myself. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 23 May, 2012 08:21 PM If hugging your girlfriend is wrong, then hugging your female friend is wrong, and hugging your male friends is wrong. That is absolutely ridiculous. No physical contact before marriage is a rule created out of fear. "What if high-fiving my girlfriend leads me to thinking about holding hands with her, which leads me to thinking about hugging her, which leads me to thinking about sex? I better make sure I never touch her before we're married!" Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 23 May, 2012 08:47 PM First, let me say that I'm pretty conservative when it comes to physical contact in a relationship. Sex is absolutely something to be saved for marriage, no question about that. Even kissing is something that I'd be careful about, though I would not be opposed to a certain amount of kissing in the weeks leading up to the wedding. No intense kissing, though. I know from my very limited experience that I greatly enjoy holding hands and hugging. I see nothing whatsoever wrong with holding hands...when I had a boyfriend, it always made me feel very secure and loved when he would reach for my hand. Hugging can be a bit of a slippery slope, though, so even though hugs are wonderful (for the same reasons as holding hands!), they need to be kept "appropriate." Would I date a guy who didn't believe in ANY physical contact prior to marriage? Yes, I probably would, but I would also need to make it clear to him that I might have a difficult time going from "nothing" to "everything" within a few short hours on the wedding day/night...if the relationship got that far. He would also need to show his affection in other ways, or I might feel that he wasn't attracted to me at all. Can a relationship last without physical contact? I know of relationships that have. Like someone else said, if the only difference in dating and friendship is the physical contact, there are other problems. (For the record, I have a close guy friend who has no problem hugging me...yet we've never dated.) Post Reply
View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 24 May, 2012 12:34 AM I guess it would have to depend on the lady. I, for one, like it when a guy holds my hand or gives me a kiss and all that romantic stuff (though a kiss is as far as its going to get until after marriage!). It reassures me that the guy wants to be with me. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 24 May, 2012 05:12 PM Oh no :stop: No hugging and kisses??? Sorry but I require and insist on a certain level of romantic intimacy: loads of hugs and kisses, even passionate ones. Not on every date and not automatically because there is a date.... but to restrict and refrain from any touching until you marry..... no thank you very much! :nahnah: Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 25 May, 2012 01:33 PM I know many happily married couples who did not hold hands or kiss until on their wedding day. Some churches still teach this and individually you have to decide what is right for you. Talking this through is always important anytime you are looking for more than a friendship. Upholding this standard is possible although it is much harder after you have been married and are divorced or widowed. The standard allows you to focus on the other parts of a relationship such as conversation and activities. Post Reply
KindHeartedWoman8 View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 25 May, 2012 04:30 PM TeachB- I agree...There are other things to do like communication and talking about the Bible. I think one can really get to know each other without any physical contact. :stop:I am for No physical contact except a short hug goodbye after a date! If a man I was dating wanted to have sex or kiss before marriage and insisted well then he is not the one for me! I think when you are courting a woman for marriage as much praying,communication and getting to know each other is what the focus should be and building a great friendship. Post Reply
GraceAndKindness View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 26 May, 2012 09:11 AM I think in addiition to what God expects, (not saying that right... help me Lord).. its a personal issue (per se). What may tempt me, may not tempt someone else and visa versa. Intamacy for one may not lead to sex while it may and /or be considered same to someone else. This is a topic that goes on forever huh. Guess the important thing is to see the truth, don't be fooled and be able to own up to the truth. Don't mean to preach, but the best examples are in the word; Joseph didn't initiate anything with pharaoh's wife, but he chose to use the wisdom God gave him, and got outta dodge, QUICK. Post Reply
View Profile History	The "I got a friend who" question Posted : 26 May, 2012 05:41 PM I think a person can get to know each other without physical contact but it may be hard to establish a relationship with the opposite sex without some form of contact. I believe that some christians feel that any type of physical contact is wrong before marriage. The Bible only speaks against sex before marriage in dealing with dating/relationship context. I think it all depends on the couple really. Talking about the Bible is good but sometimes you just want to cuddle with a person you love and watch a movie. I think it is ideal to think christians should not have any physical contact till marriage. However, it is not biblical (beside of course no sex before marriage) and it up to the couple. I have went to a church that believe in no kissing before marriage. I respect the church position but to cite the position as biblical is wrong. Post Reply

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