"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 22 May, 2012 10:57 PM
You know I see a lot of ladies who have something like "seeking the perfect match god has for me".
When I read that, the cynical side of me wonders how likely it is God has just one person out there for each of us and is he really playing match-maker in everyone's lives?
Then I also have to wonder if that thinking might not lead to a failed relationship let me explain before I get pelted with Stones. :angel:
Lets say I met a lady that I think - "Man... out of the billions of people in the world "This" is Gods match for me. :bouncy:
We seem to hit it off and before long we are heading down the isle. IN all likelihood, both of us are going to discover things about each other which are.... well, less than perfect, perhaps even areas which are difficult to deal with.
Whats the first thing the newlywed might conclude? Hmmmm maybe this wasn't "the one".
Is it possible going into relationships with such high expectations might in fact lead to unrealistic expectations?
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 23 May, 2012 02:44 AM
Well yes it's possible to have expectations too high, but that can happen regardless of if you believe God is working in lives to bring two people together or not. You really didn't make much of a case against this belief system.
Usually having expectations too high is a case of selfishness. I'm not really sure how it relates to Go bringing people together.
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 23 May, 2012 05:17 AM
God has given us free will, he doesn't force us to choose this one person out of billions. But I do believe that in marriage he has created someone special for either of us if that is His will for our lives, if not, we could go marry any Tom, Dan, or Harry or in your case Tammy, Diane or Harriet and it wouldn't matter.
But you see it does, marriage is not the cure for loneliness and physical intimacy but a ministry before the Lord. Everything we do is for ministry onto the Lord, to serve Him. The thing about this life we live is it's supposed to be a life of surrender, a realization that our desires have been corrupted by sin and we now need the washing of the word and the renewal of our minds, when we do that bit by bit we lay down our selfish desires in lieu of God's righteous desires which is never something dissatisfying. He has commanded that wives love their husbands and husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church and even gave himself for her.
Now whatever your marriage ministry is that's something only God can tell you after seeking His face, but we live in an imperfect world yet we strive for perfection in Jesus Christ. The man or woman God has for you may not be perfect but perfect for you in the accomplishing of God's will. it may be naive to think because this is the person God has for you no problems should arise. We have an enemy who seeks to steal, kill and destroy and will do everything in his power to destroy marriages, by sometimes magnifying what we perceive as a spouses fault, don't fall for it. Do not enter into marriage thinking it's smooth sailing from here and maybe come to resent God. (it happens believe it or not)
Do not take marriage lightly and do not make the decision without God it'll be much worse, you would have wasted your time. Just my two cents :)
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 23 May, 2012 05:19 AM
God has given us free will, he doesn't force us to choose this one person out of billions. But I do believe that in marriage he has created someone special for either of us if that is His will for our lives, if not, we could go marry any Tom, Dan, or Harry or in your case Tammy, Diane or Harriet and it wouldn't matter.
But you see it does, marriage is not the cure for loneliness and physical intimacy but a ministry before the Lord. Everything we do is for ministry onto the Lord, to serve Him. The thing about this life we live is it's supposed to be a life of surrender, a realization that our desires have been corrupted by sin and we now need the washing of the word and the renewal of our minds, when we do that bit by bit we lay down our selfish desires in lieu of God's righteous desires which is never something dissatisfying. He has commanded that wives love their husbands and husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church and even gave himself for her.
Now whatever your marriage ministry is that's something only God can tell you after seeking His face, but we live in an imperfect world yet we strive for perfection in Jesus Christ. The man or woman God has for you may not be perfect but perfect for you in the accomplishing of God's will. it may be naive to think because this is the person God has for you no problems should arise. We have an enemy who seeks to steal, kill and destroy and will do everything in his power to destroy marriages, by sometimes magnifying what we perceive as a spouses fault, don't fall for it. Do not enter into marriage thinking it's smooth sailing from here and maybe come to resent God. (it happens believe it or not)
Do not take marriage lightly and do not make the decision without God it'll be much worse, you would have wasted your time. Just my two cents :)
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 23 May, 2012 03:32 PM
I'm not sure I am required to -make the case- against the concept that God has specific marriage plans for each of us...
or I should say, I don't need to make the case against it until someone offers definitive biblical foundation for it in the first place :glow:
I tend to think Gods word is full of instruction and guidance on how to choose a mate..... why would the Lord need to be redundant and take an active hand in it as well?
Now I agree, it is a nice heartwarming thought that God would pair two people up but logically it would seem God blessing on the union happens at the wedding.
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 23 May, 2012 03:49 PM
I see what you are saying and I didn't mean to come off harsh, but it just appeared that you were attempting to make your case that it was something that could lead to "failed relationships" if someone believes God has someone for them. So you are not simply waiting for someone to make the case from scripture that God brings two people together. You were in fact criticizing the idea...so if scripture must be given for one side, then shouldn't it follow that proof from scripture be given from your side...just to remain fair?
You brought in the idea of learning things about one another after you walk down the isle, but that is something that will happen in EVERY marriage. It should not matter if you are loving your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. We are not called to be happy with whatever our wives do, but rather to love them.
I'm simply saying that I don't see how God bringing husband and wife together is relevant to the issues you brought up. I'm not trying to be mean...just don't get the relationship.
"I tend to think Gods word is full of instruction and guidance on how to choose a mate..... why would the Lord need to be redundant and take an active hand in it as well?"
Scripture also teaches that Paul beat his body into submission, but that we only have the power over sin through the Holy Spirit working in us. In and of ourselves we cannot defeat sin. This would seem redundant as well but they are both the teachings of scripture. Simply because God gives instruction on how to choose a mate doesn't mean God is not working to bring the two together. It's the same way that sinners are told to repent and believe, but it is only when God opens the heart that sinners are able to do so.
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 23 May, 2012 05:37 PM
You didn't come off as harsh ..... and I don't mind harsh anyway.:laugh:
Let me bullet point this to make it simple.
-THe persons who make a claim are usually in the position to provide basis. What in scripture leads us to believe God has one chosen person for me or you?
-If my hunch is correct (and I am just kicking around ideas here) I think it stands to reason that people choosing a mate in the belief that "This is the one God has for me" are more likely to
A) become disillusioned when the person is well... less than perfect.
B) feel they misread Gods leading yet remain in the marriage with a sense of "I missed Gods match".
I have actually seen this mindset strengthen a desire for divorce.
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 23 May, 2012 05:58 PM
Yea I think the issue is understanding that even if God did pick a person for you, He hasn't picked a perfect person. I agree people can set the standard too high
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 28 May, 2012 02:53 PM
We must remember though that we are expecting things from flawed people. It's not wrong to have expectations...the question is how will we react when someone doesn't meet the expectations within a marriage. Will we start a fight, or will be exercise grace.
"looking for the one God has for me" (makes me nervous)
Posted : 5 Jun, 2012 03:36 PM
I have been here in 4 years and have not got any real answer from any man.
Today I know that GOD can�t connect any couple because we have a free will.
I have seen that GOD have sent me men that He think fit me or I him but those men GOD have sent me have not understood that it was GOD that send them to me and they should give me a chance to make them understand that I am the right one....
BUT those men have not give me any chance so for me does it tell me that they was not right and GOD can see it also.
GOD doesn�t care or doesn�t know that attraction or the nature is so strong in us so most people have already a picture how their new partner should look like and many choice after what they think people around them will say.
If you really want to be like Jesus should not the outside make your decision if you want to write to that person GOD have given you....
not either where she is coming from because GOD is HERE and NOW ...and not the past or have no limit of countries
I know GOD want me to stay single so I am not here anymore but I check in on the forum sometimes
