Author	Thread: Bad date or no date?
Admin	Bad date or no date? Posted : 23 Jan, 2012 05:23 AM Somebody recently made a comment about undoing several of their past dates, and someone else commented about better not to date rather than have bad dates. Now to put it in context, I'm not talking about dates where it goes REALLY bad such as you get raped, beat up or have to involve the police. So if your date didn't go as bad as the above, would you still want to undo it were it possible? I'm not advocating staying with someone who is clearly not right, but whether you'd want to erase all memory of it. The reason I'm asking is because I'd rather have a date that didn't go well than no date at all. I can't learn from no date, a bad date I can; next time I'll recognise those particular warning signs or be more realistic in my expectations. Sure, my heart may get broken more than once, but if I don't want to risk hurting myself then I shouldn't be on the dating scene anyway, because it's all about trusting and building up a relationship with flawed and fallible people (even the Christian ones)... Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Bad date or no date? Posted : 23 Jan, 2012 06:58 AM Interesting question. I remember the topic you referenced, and I guess I was thinking of "bad dates" in the REALLY bad context (maybe not quite as extreme as you gave examples of, but still bad enough to leave emotional scars). If we are just talking about normal bad dates, though, here's my answer. Just the occasional bad date wouldn't be a problem, because as you said, I could learn from it. However, I'd rather have very few or no dates than a pattern of unsatisfactory or bad dates. Note that I said "pattern." This would indicate that I didn't learn anything from those bad dates. No, I don't have any dates or relationships that I wish I could erase from my memory entirely. The one serious relationship that I've been in ended strangely, and I've often wished that I could change how I handled that (for example, asked him what changed between Friday and Sunday, because on Friday he was talking marriage, and on Sunday he was breaking up with me...I feel that I did something or said something wrong, but I've no idea what). Even though I know I made mistakes in that relationship, I did learn a lot from it. I'll try not to make the same mistakes again, and I feel I'm better prepared for my next relationship because of that. Another "relationship" was actually just a really good friendship that I'd hoped would turn into something more. It didn't, but I learned a lot about how guys think. We had some really good times together, too, so there weren't any bad "dates," just overall disappointment because I allowed my emotions to run rampant. Post Reply
View Profile History	Bad date or no date? Posted : 23 Jan, 2012 08:15 AM I would say I'd rather the bad date, because like you said, I can learn from it. I can see where I made mistakes, what I like and don't like in a guy, and find out, maybe what totally sets up a date to be a bad one. I've never really been on an official date so, I can't really draw from memory but, I know fro experience what have been bad ways to hang out with people you are wanting to get to know. I know for me any place with food that can be messy is a bad idea, because I'll choose not to eat. (Unless it's pizza... then it's go time. :) ) Also, I can imagine a date that is way to planned out in advance could be a problem (Ok, dinner is at 6:30, then at 7:15 we head to the movie which starts at 7:30, then that should be out at about 8:43, then at her place at 8:55...) I would think, like it was said before, as long at it's not a pattern of badly scarring dates, that you didn't learn and grow from, a few bad dates could be beneficial... and give you something to laugh about later. :) Post Reply
bookwatcher View Profile History	Bad date or no date? Posted : 23 Jan, 2012 11:55 PM ugh. id rather have no date. spending the evening with a guy who ignored me while window shopping at the mall, complaining about how it was while wearing a trench coat (so weird), and then taking his shoes off and curling up in the seat while at the movies...... i could have had such a better time with a new book. it was a wasted evening and embaressing. Post Reply
View Profile History	Bad date or no date? Posted : 24 Jan, 2012 09:04 AM Bad date. Helps clarify what you want by showing you what you don't want, and makes for a really funny story. Post Reply
View Profile History	Bad date or no date? Posted : 24 Jan, 2012 09:43 AM Experience is the best teacher! I've had some bad dates but it did not stop me from what to have another by a different man of course. lol Every man is different. Post Reply
marikashome View Profile History	Bad date or no date? Posted : 27 Jan, 2012 09:49 PM I can learn (and later laugh at) most of even the bad dates. But there are a few bad dates that I had second or third bad dates with... I'd undo several of those if I could. :dunce: Post Reply
View Profile History	Bad date or no date? Posted : 4 Feb, 2012 07:20 AM I agree with you! Having dates that go poorly at least help us to figure out what we do and don't want in a potential mate. It also helps us keep our social skills and dating etiquette sharp. You're only hurting yourself (and coming off as conceited) if you try to avoid what you think is going to be a bad date. Post Reply
View Profile History	Bad date or no date? Posted : 6 Apr, 2012 01:03 PM @Authentic-I agree wit u..its best to jus go on a date and if it goes bad well at least u do learn from it and know what kind of guy u want. From my experience, I dated this guy who kept on insisting on going out wit me, so I finally accepted. Then when he picked me up he wasn't dressed well (t-shirt, jeans, sandals, and unshaven). Then through out the whole movie he didn't try to make conversation he just kept texting on his phone. So yea dat was a bad date. Post Reply