Thread: Why do women never take me serious as a mate?
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Why do women never take me serious as a mate?
Posted : 9 Feb, 2009 03:51 PM
I know I'm a shy guy who's sorta timid at times but I can be agressive too. But yea it's like I've never found a woman who was really into me and would let me in. I don't mean that in a sexual sense either. I mean like no woman has ever truely given me her heart. I really wonder what I'm doing wrong or if it's just me, something is wrong with me.
Just a couple of pointers, if that is okay with you.
First women are not usually attracted to aggression, but neither are they attracted to timidity, at least in my experience. What most ARE attracted to, is confidence. They want to know that the man they are thinking of giving themselves to, is confident that he can provide for, and protect, them. They want a strong, loving, kind man, who will love them, yet protect them fiercely if need be.
Okay ladies, I know I overstepped the boundaries by talking about what a woman wants, but I wanted to throw a man's prospective in there. I may have read this wrong, but that is what it appears to be from our side of things. If I am wrong, forgive me. After all, I am only a man.
Leon is absolutely correct, a woman is attracted to a confident man who will be the leader. Because we are called to submit to our husbands we must be able to trust them to make good decisions for the family. A man's confidence must be in who he is in Christ, not in his own strength.
Yes, Leon, you are absolutely right. Man is suppose to be a covering for the woman. To protect and love her. God the covering for both...If you appear to be a jackrabbit on a hound dog chase, you just might flush her into the arms of the big bad wolf....Mmmm...Wouldn't want that so speak confidence until you have it!!! God can do anything!
Yeash, that would knock some men out of the way. What happen if the guy have a social anxiety disorder. I think its best to have patience and understanding. Both sides could be thinking differently.
So true! ... Leon and Kid, you guys know the answers! And Lydia and I, AMEN! your comments. Its awesome when a man can express what he feels or knows a woman desires in a man.
I call it a "CAN DO MAN!"... as in, I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. Even if he can't do all things, at least, put forth an effort, and then is man enough to express that he doesn't know how, what, where or when, and ask for help or assistance...
So maybe you're not coming across serious , or insecure in knowing what you seek in a woman, or expressing yourself to a woman. Being shy is ok, but there is a time and season for ALL THINGS!... being shy and humble is fine, but strength must also be on display when dating or seeking a woman in a relationship... do a check and balance of yourself and write down what you feel are your mistakes and correct them, and keep searching for the right person who fits your personality. Lots of men and women make the mistakes of seeking out women/men they desire, and not the woman/man who fits who they are in a relatiosnhip.
Write down your qualities, and seek the person who has these qualities in common with you...
know I'm a shy guy who's sorta timid at times but I can be agressive too. But yea it's like I've never found a woman who was really into me and would let me in. I don't mean that in a sexual sense either. I mean like no woman has ever truely given me her heart. I really wonder what I'm doing wrong or if it's just me, something is wrong with me.
Confident men is a good answer.
We all have to grow and develope in it. I want to be confident in my life. I am a divorced,working MOM I need confidence for my family and not just in my relationship. Everything that is put in us is by a measure and it helps to keep searching and learning (just as the word and finding God and his answers to help us in just living our daily lives.) (did you ever really find the real reasons why someone is responding in the way you think is negative) You have to ask them what is changing or needed. You found your reasons why you think a woman dont give her whole heart to you. Did she say why? Did you ask her? I think the average help you can do for your self is to develope the confidence by learning how to ask questions even if it can seem like a strange question to ask or seems dumb to you. You never stated this so, I am just putting this in just if you didnt ask. I am just giving my 2 sense in just to help you think about the next time or even going back to this girl and asking her now. I say this because I have raising my youngest of 2 and she is trying to develope her own confidence in her teen years. I know in my past relationship that I was asking the questions but the answers wasnt as easy as it can be to solve when someone just dont want to work with you. It takes a good listner and communicative person to find the confidence in themselves these days and my heart goes out to you. I hope this is helpful to you.
I think Leon, Kidvid, Lydia, and Robin offered you some great advice. However, my first thought was maybe you simply have not found the right person. Different personalities interact with one another differently. Sometimes we shy people can be often misunderstood. I know me truly letting someone in will take them being patient and understanding. I agree that a little introspection on your part may be very helpful.
Great advice from the others. I would like to add, sometimes we just have to wait for the right time.
I was engaged to a fabulous guy when I was in college. He is now an amazing man. However, if we had gone through with the marriage, one of us would be miserable. I have changed so much since then. Back then I was painfully shy and quiet. I didn't hardly say boo. Now, heavens, that is in the past. I grew out of that.
He has since married a wonderful woman who is docile, demure, quiet, and a homebody. That is NOT me anymore. Where I'm headed is this.....I needed time to grow up. I also needed time to grow into and fully develop my personality. God knew this and allowed me that time. I did not understand it then. At that point in my life, I thought I was ready to settly down, become a home maker and have a baker's dozen of kids.
Maybe you simply need time to grow into yourself, or your future mate needs time to grow into herself. Don't rush. Enjoy the place where you are now. The journey really is a lot of fun. God has such wonderful things in store for us, if only we allow him to give them to us.
