Author	Thread: Curious
1newguy View Profile History	Curious Posted : 1 Nov, 2011 01:49 AM How many of you, men or women, are prepared or would be willing to get married to someone that you've only known for a short time, but got to know really well? Perhaps the question boils down to how desirous or committed are you to sacrifice yourself for someone despite the differences that you will eventually have. Meaning: how truly ready are you for marriage? To answer my own question I would say I would do it with thoughtful prayer knowing that despite the differences we would eventually have, I would be committed to loving her despite them. To me, divorce is not an option and if she's truly and fully dedicated to the Lord, I completely believe the marriage would work out fine and be blessed. Maybe I got up too early this morning:) Post Reply
View Profile History	Curious Posted : 1 Nov, 2011 04:33 AM Well, that would maybe depend on what you mean by short-weeks or months, e.g. Also if my husband to be wasn't at all interested in some of the things I like, then only having a great relationship with the Lord is not enough. It also would depend on how often the couple could physically be together, although I can imagine that with the right person it is possible to get to know each fairly well through letters-if both sides are truthful. Meeting up would definitely be essential. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Curious Posted : 1 Nov, 2011 05:26 AM It definitely depends on what you mean by "short". I would need longer than a few weeks, and probably longer than a few months. However, I can easily see myself being married about one year from first meeting that special guy. Post Reply
1newguy View Profile History	Curious Posted : 1 Nov, 2011 10:39 AM I agree that having things of common interest is important and certainly desirable. Do you think the marriage would fail if it didn't have those things but had two people fully committed to the Lord? Is loving the Lord enough to keep a marriage together and if so, is it enough to make it a happy one? Post Reply
View Profile History	Curious Posted : 1 Nov, 2011 12:03 PM Both people loving the Lord, and putting their trust in Christ would be enough to make a marriage work. However, I would have to have a few months to one year to find out if this guy truly loves the Lord and walks in Holiness. Do not ask me how I would know this, because I am not going to say on a Open forum. :laugh: Blessings... Post Reply
View Profile History	Curious Posted : 1 Nov, 2011 07:06 PM "Do you think the marriage would fail if it didn't have those things but had two people fully committed to the Lord?" Sounds like you have a particular relationship that already exists in mind? There is no formula for a successful marriage, but there are necessary ingredients. The same for a garaunteed failure. Full commitment to the Lord and the marriage is a definite need for success. But that alone will still give you a relationship that can vary from barely tolerable to down right glorious! You need to ask the right questions. What kind of marriage do you want? A roommate, a friendship or a partnership? The tools for a genuine partnership need to be built and tested with time. Seems to me a relationship that is so rushed that it doesn't take a reasonable time is based on the fear that this attraction we feel now may not last, so we better seal the deal so that you can't leave me! Even a restaurant runs for a year before it decides if it is viable or not :yay: Post Reply
1newguy View Profile History	Curious Posted : 1 Nov, 2011 07:35 PM I can assure you I have no relationship in mind nor am I planning on opening up a restaurant:) I guess I see(and sometimes catch myself) people more concerned about their "perfect" match and what they want rather than what the Lord desires of a biblical marriage. You know, the old marriage is 50/50. I don't believe that at all. Marriage should be 100/100, even when your spouse is not giving you their share. Just like Christ loves His Church. I by no means think it would be wise to marry the first person you met, however, if you did, it should still be a blessed marriage if they are both seeking Christ first. What's not to love and adore about a woman who is fully committed to Christ? As I've matured as a Christian, I'm finding that one quality alone as very, very, attractive. I suppose I'm just curious as to how serious people on this site are about marriage and their commitment to having Christ as the head of it. I realize its a dating site, but what is the point of dating? Post Reply
View Profile History	Curious Posted : 2 Nov, 2011 01:56 AM For me dating only leads to marriage. Every person I come into contact with on this site is a possible marriage partner. I am not in an extreme hurry, but I would like to eventually marry. The most important thing that I look for in a guy is his relationship with the Lord. If that isn't genuine, then I am not interested. It wouldn't matter how many things we have in common or whether I think he is handsome or not. If he has a genuine faith in God, then he is automatically more appealing to me. Post Reply
Aimee07 View Profile History	Curious Posted : 3 Nov, 2011 06:03 PM For me, it's always a CHOICE. It's the key to a lasting relationship. If you know (after carefully considering and praying about everything) that the person you met (notwithstanding how long) is the one for you....and the person on the other line feels the same, then...you can take it a step further. After carefully thinking, reading some books about love and relationships, and really really pray and seek God's heart about this, I came to these two conclusions: A perfect match is when the person you CHOSE to love CHOOSES to love you back. :) The key to a lasting relationship is CHOICE. You should CHOOSE to love your partner every waking day of your lives. :) God will NOT choose a partner for you. He will SHOW you people who might catch your attention, but the FINAL DECISION is still YOURS to make. Hope I'm still on topic... cheers! Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Curious Posted : 4 Nov, 2011 11:21 AM yeah, divorce is not an option for me either. I know several people that got married shortly after they began dating and they have been together many years. so, if I knew God was blessing the relationship, I would say I would take the plunge and work through the issues as the arise. We are all afraid of abandonment due to circumstances in marriage and if that fear was gone, then I think the 2 can work through anything that comes their way. security is important. :) Post Reply
Mercymay View Profile History	Curious Posted : 5 Nov, 2011 03:52 AM I think I have to disagree that someone fully committed to Christ will also guarantee a blessed marriage. I believe there are lots of broken marriages from people who really are fully committed to the Lord just not fully committed to the relationship. For me, there is that need to fully know the person well. His commitment to the Lord is important but also his commitment to the marriage. I will go with the old marriage of 50/50, there must be give and take, even 40/60 is tolerable but 100/100? even when your spouse is not giving you their share? I strongly disagree with that� I am just human, honestly I will get tired if there is no reciprocity in the relationship. It is not wise to marry the first person you met, yes, you might get lucky to have met the right person right away but that doesn�t happen every time for each one. Maybe you can give yourself to someone who doesn�t give in return for some period, but for a lifetime? I don�t think you can do that. I don�t think you can live with a nagging, whining, complaining, discontented, etc wife for a lifetime. Life is a gift, life is short, live it to the fullest. Why spend it with someone who doesn�t give back love, care, understanding, commitment in return? Post Reply

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