Author	Thread: Should I have handled this differently?
Admin	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 04:46 PM I recently met (within the past two days) a woman on another site. We got to talking with a few short messages (nothing much), and last night she was wondering if she could have my phone number so we could text. Now, Im not too worried about online dating, but believe you should be cautious about people you first meet and talk to them awhile before giving out info like phone numbers and email. I had told her that I didnt feel comfortable yet giving out my number because I felt like I hardly knew anything about her (she never really answered the questions I asked here, and focused on asking her own questions, she answered maybe 1 or 2 of the 4-6 I had asked her). In the end I havent heard back from here, just logged on and noticed she was online). So I feel that turning donw my # probably turned her off, maybe not, who knows. Maybe she hasnt gotten back to me. I just felt like she was pushing herself on me, and was neglecting to answer me and provide some info about herself to me. She gave some info, like name, where she went to college, what she wanted to do for a job. But thats not really what I want to know about a woman. The things I want to know about a person take time (not 1-2 messages, maybe 4-6). More personal type things, like her faith (which I asked, but she never answered, just that she was born again, while I was looking for something more in depth). So was I wrong to not give her my number or was I correct in going with my gut feeling. Do any woman on here ask for mens numbers within two messages? Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 05:33 PM I don't think you were wrong. I think you showed discernment and wisdom. It is too soon to be exchanging phone #s, in my opinion, after only 2 emails. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 06:10 PM I would not provide my phone number after only two emails. Like you, I need to get to know the person's character and assess the guy's spiritual development first. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 06:36 PM Ok, thanks. I'll see how things go, but right now I just dont see much happening in the way of progress. It just doesnt seem like shes willing to open up yet (which I know can take some time for some).. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 07:48 PM I think what you did was fine. There's no way I'd give a guy my phone number after only a couple emails, and I wouldn't ask for his after only a couple emails. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 09:37 PM Always go with your gut when it's telling you there's something off, because there probably is. I think you handled it fine. It's kind of interesting actually to see the shoe on the other foot. I didn't know this happened to men also. I always thought this only happened to women. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 25 Oct, 2011 03:59 AM Ignoring questions, especially about their faith (on a faith based dating site of all things!) could indicate a scammer. Even assuming she's not, she can't be that interested if not getting your phone number just yet is enough reason to move on; or worse still, you end up with someone like that - lots of "silent treatment" when they don't get what they want and yet content to ignore what you want... Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 25 Oct, 2011 11:45 PM I think you handled this situation very well, it didn't feel right. Hang in there the right one will come along. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 26 Oct, 2011 02:24 PM @Dk - its actually on Plenty of Fish, not on here. I hadnt been on there in a long time, because it seemed that there just werent enough people who were Christians on there, so I stopped visiting. I only went on there because she had sent me an email. She "says" shes born again, what I dont understand is she says shes born again, but has Catholic as here denomination. Imo Christian and Catholic are two different things. Personally I dont consider someone who is Catholic to be Christian and Born Again. The whole thing with not answering my questions is starting to turn me off now. If you want someone interested in you, you have to make an effort imo, and it just doesnt seem like she cares about what Im inquiring. I dont even know if shes reading my emails that well. When we first started talking I had said I graduated from College, then yesterday when I had responded about her schooling, she asked if I was still in school, when I had just said in a previous message I had graduated. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 26 Oct, 2011 06:59 PM It does sound suspicious about the questions. As for her being Catholic, I think someone can be Catholic and be a born-again Christian, just as someone can be Baptist/Presbyterian/nondenominational/etc. and be completely lost. But I do think that there are enough differences between Catholicism and most protestant denominations that it could really cause problems in a relationship. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 26 Oct, 2011 07:20 PM From what I know about Catholisism (my mom was Catholic), is that they believe just doing good works get them into heaven, which is the complete opposite of what a Christian believes in my view. Dotn take this the wrong way, Im not calling you out on this. I just have a hard time thinking how someone could be a born again Christian and not follow what the Bible says as far as works/faith... Post Reply

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