You want to know what is wrong with it - not what's right about it, correct?
Okay.
The animal costume picture is kind of creepy. Some of your other pics are good, but others aren't (too small, too unflattering, etc.)
Lines like this: "I dont want someone to make my heart skip a beat, i want someone who can complete the melody of my heart with rhythmic unison" fill up a lot of space but don't say very much at all. I'm not sure what that means.
"I am kind of an old fashion Guy with old values." I don't know if this sounds like a good thing. I'm inclined to think it doesn't.
"I love to show affection in public as well because I feel love has no boundaries. I love holding hands, kissing, hugging, cuddling, touching, caressing, smiling, and walking together." This sounds creepy and inappropriate.
"I want a woman that will come running into my arms as soon as I open the door; look for me out of a crowd of people; call me to tell me she misses me and wants me to come home; and hangs on to every word I say while her heart melts." No woman wants to do this, or be described like this. A woman is an individual person with interests, a life, and an entire world that shouldn't be consumed by only you. If you want someone to do these things, what you are looking for is not a wife, but a dog. May I suggest a retriever of some sort?
"I want a woman who is beautiful inside and out in my eyes. If she has a scar on her face or missing an arm or some type of blemish about her I would still find her attractive."
This is awkward, most of all for those women that have these features. No need to say this, and definitely no need to be explicit. It sounds weird and like the opposite is true. Really, really uncomfortable and awkward.
"Church would be a good first date because this is the most important thing in my life." Church would be a TERRIBLE first date. No self-respecting woman is going to accept "going to church" as a first date. Going to church is an act of worship, not an act of dating. A date involves dinner and a social activity, and not being shared with an entire congregation.
Really... a dog. A dog is the answer here. Golden retriever, or maybe a Lab..
Let me preface answering your question with, there is nothing wrong with your profile if it's a true representation of you!
That said a few things pop out to me:
1. You start almost every sentence with "I", "I am" , "I want", or "I ....". It gives the connotation everything is about you and want you want, think, feel, etc. Perhaps reword some of the sentences so they don't all start with "I".
2. Proof read and edit your profile as you have quite a few gramatical errors.
3. You state a few times you are not too picky, particular, etc about things, this could be conceived as you are careless or lack individualness or lack discipline. Maybe reword those sentences.
The content isn't bad, it's just some of the wording. And we females are big into wording :ROFL:
I tend to agree with what has already been said. However, Journey made a good point: if your profile is a true representation of YOU, then there is nothing wrong with it. If this is the case, then the woman who DOES respond to your message and profile will be more likely to be compatible with you than if you changed your profile to reflect someone that you are NOT.
One more suggestion... If you change nothing else about your profile, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE break it up into paragraphs!!! I had an extremely difficult time getting through it. I would recommend breaking it up into at least three or four chunks to make it more readable. Just make sure that the breaks are in logical places.
Good luck, and don't get too discourage...most of us on here would tell you that the response rate to messages and winks is pretty pathetic.
There isn't all that much WRONG with it, but you probably should be very clear about a few things:
What does "old fashioned values" actually mean to you?
You should be specific about this, because to SOME people who say they believe in old fashioned values, view male/female role in a very rigid and scary way: I'm a dictator who likes to rule with abuse, control and fear. To them women are viewed as property... are not allowed to vote, think for themselves, work outside the home, wear pants or makeup, have an opinion or do anything without their husbands permission etc. (I've met a few like this.)
To be clear, I'm NOT suggesting this is what you believe at all. I hope you can see where some clarification about YOUR old fashioned values might be a good thing.
If you are unwilling to relocate, you should explain why. People may assume reasons in their own mind that are incorrect.
Also, it may be a turn off to some people who would normally be interested in everything else you have to say, if you aren't at least open to the idea at some future point in your life.
As an English major in college, I can tell you, grammar and proper paragraphs are important. If something is difficult to read, a good majority of people won't bother to finish reading it. I can help you with this if you'd like. :)
I hope these suggestions aren't too discouraging to you. Because you asked, the other ladies and I are being honest to help you.
Not a thing wrong with your profile! You sound like a real nice guy. If you are not getting feedback, maybe write more young woman on the site. God does things in His time. :glow:
