Author	Thread: Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites?
joiseygoil4him View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 10:54 AM I need your input Christians! I am having an issue explaining to a Christian man, that when in a serious committed monogomous relationship working towards a permanent life together, he still wants to have active profiles on several dating sites, video messenger chats, talk in private chats with single women (supposed friends) on yahoo and facebook, personal emails with women. etc.It is wrong to me. I personally believe that a Christian man should be committed to the person he loves not be a player. Having outside relationships with the opposite sex creates an unhealthy realtionship with the one you are with. His attitude is i want control and am being insecure. I do not have single men friends or do any of this while I am in a relationship. Any conversations I have are in a christian open chat room for fellowship or posts on walls at FB so he can read them. Its all out in the open. All your responses will help. Thanks!!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 12:16 PM I think this topic is in about every relationship something that needs to be defined and discussed, as enough relations have suffered tensions because of the "activities" on the social network of one of the partners. I think within a relationship full (and I mean complete) transparance is an absolute must.... So I would definitely frown on private chatboxes and that kind of things. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 02:54 PM I don't really have an answer for this one. I will say, though, that I think there is a difference between talking to long-time friends and actively trying to find new people to talk to. For example, I have a guy friend that I'm pretty close to. I don't want to have to cut all ties with him if I ever meet someone special...but our friendship would have to change from "close friends" to "casual friends" so that there would be no chance of emotional infidelity. I definitely don't feel that searching out new friends of the opposite sex would be appropriate if someone were in a committed relationship. Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 06:10 PM Expecting him to cut off all conversation with all females he knows is an unreasonable expectation. Understanding who he talks to and the types of conversations would be a more reasonable expectation. My ex got upset (jealous) when he 'deployed' for a period of time and I met coworkers through a sports program. Then when I went to a school for 9 weeks, he became extremely jealous of the men in my seminar. Even though I talked about the women along with the men that I participated in class activities, all he focused on were the men. It so happened out of 60 students only 8-10 were femailes...so obviously I would particpate with men in the course. Jealousy can kill a relationship... Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 07:40 PM �I am having an issue explaining to a Christian man, that when in a serious committed monogamous relationship working towards a permanent life together, he still wants to have active profiles on several dating sites, video messenger chats, talk in private chats with single women (supposed friends) on yahoo and facebook, personal emails with women. etc.It is wrong to me.� Joisey�Listen to what you are saying here. If you are having an issue �explaining� (convincing) a man you care deeply about what you expect or desire in a committed, monogamous relationship one you hope is leading to a permanent life together and his views or core values differ from yours so much so that he �still wants to have active profiles on several dating sites, video messenger chats, talk in private chats with single women (supposed friends) on yahoo and facebook, and personal emails with women�, I would offer up he is NOT monogamous. He is NOT wanting exclusivity and certainly NOT ready for commitment. Is it okay for men to have women friends�certainly. However, look at whom he is engaging in friendship; SINGLE WOMEN! Look where he is chatting them up; SEVERAL DATING AND OTHER SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES! It almost reads as if you are trying to put a square peg into a round hole. You are trying to make the unacceptable�acceptable by trying to convince someone not ready or willing to change� that he needs TO CHANGE. It would be simpler to push a 7,000 lb. elephant up a hill. When you said, �Having outside relationships with the opposite sex creates an unhealthy relationship with the one you are with� then perhaps it�s time you RETHINK the one you are with. Ask yourself this: Should you really have to try and convince the man you love to give up �other women� he�s met online? Why would he allow a situation to arise whereby you act in a way that makes him think you are controlling and insecure? If he truly loves you, shouldn�t he do all that is within his power to make you feel secure in that love and not feel jealous and disrespected? Integral to the solid foundation of any relationship there must be common core values necessary to the success of that relationship. If there is a gap between your belief of how a Christian man should behave in a committed relationship and how this man actually behaves�I would offer up your core values are dissimilar enough that you need to think long and hard about what you are willing to accept and what you are not. You have the right to be with someone that loves you and treats you with respect. You have the right to feel short changed, to feel upset and hurt if other relationships he seeks out take eat away at the foundation of the relationship you have with him. You have the right Joisey to let this relationship go if it doesn�t meet your needs and he doesn�t appear willing to make changes to meet those needs. God bless you my friend. I pray you find the solutions to this dilemma, the wisdom and strength to do what is best for you both. ~O'Shea~ Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 07:51 PM Men are Not in a serious relationship, if they still have time to be on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites. This guy needs to stay single out there until he is willing to make a Real committment. I do not want any man that feels the need to continue his friendships with other Women. I have males friends but I would give them up for a serious relationship. Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 07:51 PM Men are Not in a serious relationship, if they still have time to be on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites. This guy needs to stay single out there until he is willing to make a Real committment. I do not want any man that feels the need to continue his friendships with other Women. I have males friends but I would give them up for a serious relationship. Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 21 Aug, 2011 10:44 PM `I recall the lord saying to me this is not a grocery store where you go and handled everything on the shelf. I could say volumes more, but this guy would be miles from cherishing you. Post Reply
View Profile History	Men in a serious relationship still on dating sites, still talking to single women (friends) they met on dating sites? Posted : 22 Aug, 2011 07:58 AM This guy is still 15 years old! He wants his Cake and he wants to be able to Eat it Too! Why would any Man want to continue "searching" when he "supposedly" has already Found IT! It may be Painful but I feel you need to "Walk Away"! I don't see this guy "growing up" anytime soon or "seeing the Light". Sorry. Post Reply