Author	Thread: Why do I rarely get any return messages?
Admin	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 02:25 PM I almost never get a return message from any of the women I send a message. In my message I usually introduce myself by giving my first name. Then I ask how they are doing and say I hope they are having a wonderful day. Usually I ask a question or two about their interests to try and get a conversation started. Finally I end the message by saying I hope to hear from them soon. I don't understand why I hardly ever get a response. Sometimes I think it is because I am overweight, but I can only hope that is not true. My favorite verse is Ephesians 5:25 and that is exactly the kind of man I want to be. I would lay my life down for my future wife. I constantly work on becoming a reflection of Jesus Christ. I hope that when my future wife looks at me she will see Christ and His love. I would think these attributes would be attractive to a Christian woman, but if they don't give me a chance what can I do? Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 04:08 PM Relax this is the beast of on line dating. Very few messages you send ever get replies. It`s the same with most men. Just keep keep on keeping on. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 08:02 PM You're not necessarily doing anything wrong, but your messages sound pretty generic. Considering how many messages women get in a week, I can imagine yours getting lost in the shuffle pretty easily. If you can do something to make your messages stand out, I think you'll see more success. I can't guarantee anything close to a 100% response rate, but the less you blend in with everybody else, the better. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 08:49 PM The words indicated in Bold are censored from the CDFF Forum: Online or offline, you shouldn't get your hopes up too high or get too attatched when you want to ask a chick out. If you start to get frustrated take a break for a bit. Just have fun with what you can so that it's more about the experience and less about the results. sometimes it's good to just go out and pi$$ them off or at least not being so worried about offending them and then be like 'I don't care you weren't going to go out with me anyway so who cares?'. I mean why just automatically assume they deserve your respect? It's a good way to stay on an even keel whether single or not and it makes you less desperate (a plus) in more control of your emotions and attitude by playing with emotion and attitude rather than the other way around (a plus) being yourself (a plus) and if you focus more on enjoying yourself you can be more aware of and critical of what you want and what you don't want instead of just taking whoever will give you a chance aka getting the girl you want and need instead of just taking whatever you can get (definitly a plus). Basically don't just limit yourself to online dating and focus on having a good time so that it's something you could take or leave. Good luck! Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 09:22 PM IOnlyDateCheerleaders... wow... I pray you were saying all that in a "tongue-in-cheek" manner. I would never treat anyone the way you suggested and would not want to be around someone who did. Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 09:35 PM creative thinker... don't give up. online dating is actually much more difficult than face to face. This is a higher uncertainty level and one must be extra careful to watch out for creepers. Not only that but it's very easy to move way to fast in an online relationship. I myself get VERY few responses myself. I in fact lately haven't even had the time to put into messaging people (as one message can take me from 20 to 60 minutes to write). Also, there are many profiles here that are technically active but the owner of the profile hasn't been online in months. While weight can be an issue ( I know this first hand as I am not a skinny minny and never will be considering I was a size 14 when I was anorexic) you can only be who you are. If the other person doesn't show interest it is their loss of a potential true friend. I do not suggest you go out with the intention of hurting someone emotionally, also it is wise to not set yourself up for being emotionally hurt either. I learn to expect the worst case (not getting ANY results) praying for the best ( I get many responses) and be happy in the middle ground (getting one here or one there). I wish you all the best in your search... Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 4 Aug, 2011 10:52 PM I should clarify: When I say pi$$ them off I mean it's ok to be yourself, and say what you really think, even if they don't like it. I am not recommending becoming a sociopath. Post Reply
jehovajira5185 View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 6 Aug, 2011 08:35 PM I would suggest that you add a little more to your profile, not saying there is anything wrong with it, but I'm sure a women would want to know a little more about you, try telling them about what you are looking for in a women, what qualities are important to you. Tell a little more about your walk with God, keep it as short as possible, but not too short, I'm sure you will find a true Christian woman, the one God has in store for you, Pray about it, Pray like you have never prayed before, He will provide what you need, not what you want! Good luck, and God bless! feel free to contact me if you would like some help beefing up your profile, I would love to help!--- Corey Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 12 Aug, 2011 07:49 AM I need to defend IOnlyDateCheerleaders here, because he is the only one talking sense. Despite his arbitrary dating guidelines. If I understand correctly, what IODC is saying is to be yourself and stop worrying if people like you. Everything about this is good advice, regardless of the language used to convey the message. The "nice guy" doesn't get the girl because the concept of "nice guy" is, at best, passive, and at worst, creepy. It isn't that a woman doesn't want a guy who is friendly and kind, it's that no woman is going to notice, or want, a guy who is just "nice." "if you focus more on enjoying yourself you can be more aware of and critical of what you want and what you don't want instead of just taking whoever will give you a chance aka getting the girl you want and need instead of just taking whatever you can get (definitly a plus)." Oh, how I agree with this, and I have seen way too many people do the opposite. You have every right to be discerning too. No one is ignoring your messages because you're overweight, trust me, as a woman, that is hardly a defeater. Chemistry and personality, however, is, and online I don't think anyone gets to experience that as much. Put yourself out there, ask someone out, and enjoy the fun of getting to know someone without rushing into anything. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 12 Aug, 2011 07:52 AM Speaking practically about replies on this site, I can tell you the things that would incline me not to reply: I can't see your picture. All I can tell is that you are a man and you are human-shaped. I can't see your face, I can't see your eyes, I can't even tell what you look like aside from being human. You could be anybody! A larger picture would help, and one that shows your face clearly. Also, whenever someone mentions sex or their sex life in their profile, that is a huge turn off for me. It's inappropriate at that stage, and it's inappropriate until the conversation comes up between you and a potential partner. Obviously on a Christian site you want to clarify that you're not just looking to get in someone's pants, but on the other hand, on a Christian site, that is assumed. I'm comfortable assuming you're waiting for marriage should I ever need to know that information, but I don't want to hear about your sex life or lack thereof on your profile. Post Reply
loknforlove26 View Profile History	Why do I rarely get any return messages? Posted : 10 Feb, 2012 12:05 PM Well, I can't speak for every woman out there. But, I for one, happen to WANT a 'nice guy'. I want that sweet, gentle, love of Christ filled man, who seeks to be a reflection of Christ in all that he does. If 'He's too nice' is the worst thing you have to say about him, then I'd say you need to look in the mirror. Sorry, but that's just the way it is. I mean, think about Jesus, and how He acted while He was on this earth. He loved everyone, unconditionally...and still does. He was willing to heal anyone, or anything, without question, because that is His nature. He is LOVE. How then, can you think that something is 'wrong' with someone who is LIVING the love of Christ on a daily basis? That makes no sense to me. Sorry; but whomever wants to discard, ignore, or turn away from a man who truly has the spirit and heart of Christ is making a big mistake! Doesn't the Bible tell us women to look for a man who will live for Christ, put Him first in all he does, and seeks to be a reflection of Christ? Doesn't it tell husbands to 'love their wife as Christ loves the church'? If Christ is truly the center of your life, then the man who seeks to be a reflection of Him, and who demonstrates the love, kindness, thoughtfulness, and generosity of Christ is EXACTLY the kind of man you should be seeking! And, just for the record, for anyone who needs to be reminded, god isn't looking at the outside. He's looking at the heart and soul of each and every one of us. That's all I have to say about that. God bless. :D Post Reply