Author	Thread: Moving too quick?
Admin	Moving too quick? Posted : 21 Jul, 2011 11:56 AM Hi, this might be the first topic I've started here but I'd like to see what peoples thoughts are on this and guys can chime in too. I've noticed a trend on here particularly in the chat rooms. I see people announcing that they are in love, are now bf/gf, or in a serious or deep relationship and even planning the wedding. Which is fine and encouraging but then when asked many who say this have yet to meet in person and some may have only met online weeks to a month or so ago. Am I crazy or is this putting the cart before the horse? My process on here is get to know each other if you think there could be potential you make plans to meet, if that goes well then take the next step. I just can't fathom how someone could possibly from the heart say I love you, in such a short amount of time and only online. Here is my opinion and I may be wrong but I get the sense that so many people are desperate to be in a relationship that they are willing to skip steps and rush into something when they really haven't known that person for long. In which case I think the pursuit is more the status of relationship and are confusing infatuation, puppy love, and flirting for real true love. I believe marriage is a serious thing and shouldn't be entered into lightly. And dating/courting however your approach should be done with the intent to one day culminate in marriage. I don't advocate the opposite where there is a problem with committing and a relationship that goes on and on but never seems to go anywhere. Post Reply
View Profile History	Moving too quick? Posted : 21 Jul, 2011 05:11 PM I myself do not put any time limit on how long it takes a person to fall inlove. It may take a week for some. And then, it may take a 1-3yrs. etc. for others. Online dating is diffult to know someone, if you do not spend time with them inperson. I would Not plan a wedding without meeting the man inperson first. Some women are desperate for a relationship/marriage. Some do not care about skipping Steps that build up to it. Post Reply
Asher_Aurelius View Profile History	Moving too quick? Posted : 21 Jul, 2011 06:24 PM I know two people, both believers now but one wasn't when he met his wife. Both guys proposed to the lady that was to become their wives after approximately 7 days of knowing them. The approach was of the two was much different. One literally blurted out without thinking "you know what, we should get married" she responded "did you just say what I think you did?" "I think I did," this man was a believer at the time and they were married 7 months later. Sadly they were divorced within 2 years. The other wasn't a believer at the time, and after knowing the lady very breifly thought this lady would be a good mother for my children. Then on the 7th day asked her to marry him and they were married 1 month later. He is now a believer and been married for over 30 years and an encouraging one who has great fruit. Glory to God. To say that either loved the lady I will not comment because I am not sure, it just seems that love is 'sexy' or culturally hyped, whereas other aspects such as commitment are not. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Moving too quick? Posted : 21 Jul, 2011 06:40 PM I guess it works for some people, but yes, I think that those people are moving too quickly. I personally would never even consider myself to be "in a relationship" with someone that I'd never met in person. There are just too many things people can hide online. There is no substitute for meeting someone face-to-face and spending time with each other. (Which is one reason I'm not crazy about long-distance relationships.) Post Reply
View Profile History	Moving too quick? Posted : 22 Jul, 2011 02:44 PM bcpianogal; I hear that...that is why I love to offer a woman who is interested in me like my SSN, my address, and even a copy of my drivers license..and a call from my mother, who always just says "he never calls me enough". have even offered to run a "background check" on myself and give the account name and password to a woman who has shown interest in me.....yes, I did 40 hours of community service for spitting on a guy, but hey...my Attorney said he deserved it. bless, still the "radicalist of the radical Christians on the planet" michael "el guapo" chudzinski Post Reply
View Profile History	Moving too quick? Posted : 26 Jul, 2011 10:56 AM Who can put a time limit on love. The real question to me is why enough emphasis is not put on seeking the Lord about the relationship. i have never beeen married and don't know the pain of divorce but I have made up in my mind that the man I am going to marry has to have God's stamp of approval. Sometimes the heady chemical reaction we feel is not love and love is certainly not enough to build a marriage on. The love of Christ is. I plan to do this once, I am not saying that hard times will not come but God has to be the one directing. This time of singularity needs to be spent on obedience to what God says. It's hard sometimes it sucks to wait but wait I will. I let my emotions overpower my need to seek God about a situation. I basically told God this was the man I wanted! God said no and I was heartbroken because I didn't hide my heart inside His will. Next time I'm asking my Abba Father. I hate to hear when relationships don't work out, it grieves me. But imagine a world where we actually wait on God's okay instead of going forward and ten asking for His blessing on the mess we've brought upon ourselves. Kelly Post Reply
View Profile History	Moving too quick? Posted : 26 Jul, 2011 10:56 AM Who can put a time limit on love. The real question to me is why enough emphasis is not put on seeking the Lord about the relationship. i have never beeen married and don't know the pain of divorce but I have made up in my mind that the man I am going to marry has to have God's stamp of approval. Sometimes the heady chemical reaction we feel is not love and love is certainly not enough to build a marriage on. The love of Christ is. I plan to do this once, I am not saying that hard times will not come but God has to be the one directing. This time of singularity needs to be spent on obedience to what God says. It's hard sometimes it sucks to wait but wait I will. I let my emotions overpower my need to seek God about a situation. I basically told God this was the man I wanted! God said no and I was heartbroken because I didn't hide my heart inside His will. Next time I'm asking my Abba Father. I hate to hear when relationships don't work out, it grieves me. But imagine a world where we actually wait on God's okay instead of going forward and ten asking for His blessing on the mess we've brought upon ourselves. Kelly Post Reply
View Profile History	Moving too quick? Posted : 26 Jul, 2011 10:57 AM Who can put a time limit on love. The real question to me is why enough emphasis is not put on seeking the Lord about the relationship. i have never beeen married and don't know the pain of divorce but I have made up in my mind that the man I am going to marry has to have God's stamp of approval. Sometimes the heady chemical reaction we feel is not love and love is certainly not enough to build a marriage on. The love of Christ is. I plan to do this once, I am not saying that hard times will not come but God has to be the one directing. This time of singularity needs to be spent on obedience to what God says. It's hard sometimes it sucks to wait but wait I will. I let my emotions overpower my need to seek God about a situation. I basically told God this was the man I wanted! God said no and I was heartbroken because I didn't hide my heart inside His will. Next time I'm asking my Abba Father. I hate to hear when relationships don't work out, it grieves me. But imagine a world where we actually wait on God's okay instead of going forward and ten asking for His blessing on the mess we've brought upon ourselves. Kelly Post Reply