Author	Thread: Male Leadership
TravisjustTravis View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 17 Jul, 2011 10:07 PM Often I hear of girls wanting to begin a relationship with a guy who understands that the male is supposed to lead. But some girls dont want a guy leading them until they get married. How is a guy suposed to obey GOD and lead when some girls dont want to follow. (how I handel the sitution is that I follow GOD and if a girl chooses not to follow...well I'll follow GOD) Post Reply
IaoKim View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 17 Jul, 2011 10:34 PM I hear a lot of girls say that as well. The thing is a lot of things they have a distorted view of what it really means to be a leader or to be the assertive guy that they say they desire. A lot of girls want to see those leadership and assertive traits in action when it comes to evaluating a guy in terms of a relationship. The problem I found a lot of times comes from the difference between having the ability to be assertive and to lead and exercising those abilities. A guy may have all those qualities and be completely able to lead and assert himself when the situation calls for it but generally he is an easy going, laid back individual. When a girl sees a guy like they generally assume he is passive, timid with no assertive characteristics or leadership skills but often times that is not the case. In a way the decision not assert oneself in a given situation is actually demonstration of assertiveness as well as discretion For example a guy insults you and attempts to pick a fight -- most guys could aggressively assert themselves in the conflict or they could decisively choose not to respond in that way (which we would all agree is probably be better choice). One guy could respond to that situation and refuse to fight because he is timid and unassertive yet another guy who is capable of asserting himself and confident would respond in the same way. In a dating relationship or friendship guys do not have completely authority to be assertive or to lead the girl because he is not yet her husband -- their is no household for him to be the head of. What girls need to look for in us guys are the abilities to be assertive and to lead and not to assume the guy does not possess those qualities when she doesn't constantly see aggressive displays of assertiveness and leadership. Often times if you look past the surface of any given situation there are good reasons for choosing not to be assertive and in actuality that decision not to assert is in and of itself assertive and decisive in nature. Post Reply
TravisjustTravis View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 17 Jul, 2011 11:15 PM Well said...Thank you for sharing your insight :yay: Post Reply
View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 18 Jul, 2011 03:23 AM Often times in men, what we see is what we get. So if we see something in the guy when we are dating we assume that is how he is. Why do we date! To get to know One another. And, if we are seeking a mate, we better pay attention to any actions in a man we do not think would make a good spouse. JMO Post Reply
IaoKim View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 18 Jul, 2011 07:44 AM I wrote that kind of late last night so some of it is kinda hard to read with missing/wrong words, but hopefully people get the general idea. I really wish we could edit our messages for correcting typos lol. Post Reply
View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 18 Jul, 2011 08:10 AM I do wonder however that although you guiys make a valid point that they're are people out there that believes that type of leadership belongs in a marriage. I say this because that while your dating you still need to be careful in who you let lead you. If I see strong leadership qualities in a guy i sit up and pay attention but if your just dating and not courting some people may shy away from that. Do you get what I mean? When that scripture was written it was intended for the bounds of marriage. I am not saying that a girl will just not trust this guy to lead until marriage but if you're courting/engaged fine but if your just dating you need to be careful. Hope you find this helpful. A woman should trust in the leadership of her spouse and submit to the leadership of Christ within Him. I have gotten some flack for this maybe I'm too young to understand because i have been told we women should always submit to a man's leadership. But if you're not following Christ I can't follow you no matter how much I love you. If I'm wrong you guys can correct me. Kelly. Post Reply
TravisjustTravis View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 18 Jul, 2011 09:49 PM Kelly, I believe you are bringing up a good point. And that is why I do not understand dating. I agree that ladies can not afford to trust every guy that they meet, but at what point should a lady start trusting what a guy says? :dunce: Post Reply
View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 19 Jul, 2011 12:57 PM Hello: Dating is a Western idea. In the East,prearranged marriages were normal. In some cultures prearranged marriages still abound. When dating a person,it should be remembered that dating is what leads to marriage. I America,oopppppssssss my bad. In the Fatherland/Homeland,the AVERAGE man dates multiple women. Then after say 5 women,the man now understands that he knows almost nothing about women. Usually a man chooses a women that is like his mother,and some men marry because they still want a mother looking after them. Usually a woman chooses a man that is like her dad. It seems some women choose a man that they believe they can change from a BAD man,into a Good man. Dream on. Men,get to know the womans mother you want to be with,for Moms daughter might be just like mom. Woman,the same for you concerning Mr.Wright. I personally do not like the idea of dating,especially the long drawn out dating,some being years of dating. I consider a short courtship,(6 months)then marriage. Maybe this is the reason i still happen to be single. Shalom Mr.Magoo Post Reply
View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 19 Jul, 2011 06:53 PM but at what point should a lady start trusting what a guy says? There is no set time limit as to when a Woman starts to trust a man. Many woman is different in this area. Dating is a process where you get to know the other person. It is important to spend time with a person often to know something more about them and ask questions lots of questions.:laugh: Dating or Courting one of the same. People that Court often times do not make it to the marriage alter. :rolleyes: Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 20 Jul, 2011 04:14 PM I think we can complain all we want, but really, as a man, it's our responsibility to be leaders, which means it's also our responsibility to show any woman we're interested in that we can be leaders. If I have a character trait, but I never showcase it to a girl, how can I blame her for not noticing it? Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	Male Leadership Posted : 23 Jul, 2011 09:35 PM What is your definition of leadership? Being a leader does not mean making all the decisions or being the boss. Leaders include all view points before making decisions and they often allow others to make decisions. Good leaders learn to gain consensus. Good leaders listen and make decisions for the benefit of all. Dictators are leaders but don't win the hearts of the people. Being the head od the home does not mean being a dictator. Don't just read the verse that talks about submission. Read the verse before and after it. Those are instructions to the husband. Post Reply

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