Author	Thread: Should respect be unconditional?
Admin	Should respect be unconditional? Posted : 3 Jun, 2011 11:29 AM There is a book out which some here may or may not be familiar with called: LOVE AND RESPECT by christian author Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. The premise in a nutshell is based off Ephesians 5:33, "Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.", the author (and co-writing wife) conclude that a majore issue in marriages today is that respect is not held as being given unconditionally. Let me elaborate on this subject. In most marriages Love is held as something that should be unconditionally given regardless of performance, personality, etc. Yet Respect is seen as something that has to be earned. The authors argue that Respect should be just as unconditional in a marriage as Love. They go so far as to say that well both need Love and Respect, men actually value (need) to be Respected more than Loved. Whereas, women would rather be Loved than Respected. I understand that this runs very counter cultural and against the grain of much of what most of us believe and are taught. But has our beliefs and teaching really been based on scriptural principle or worldly deception?I am curious to know your thoughts on the matter ladies. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should respect be unconditional? Posted : 3 Jun, 2011 01:21 PM I'd like to clarify here as in my other post for guys that Love and Respect being suggested here is the ideal commanded in scripture. Recognizing that such feeling do have to come from the heart and that unconditionally giving them does not come naturally. Love after all is ultimately a choice, and sometimes the actions of love may have to precede the feelings of love. Similarly is scripture suggesting respect be offered in the same way, sometimes originating in action before feelings? Remember Christ's words about recapturing your first love, a love that is not longer coming naturally, is to do the things you did at first (action preceding feeling). Sometimes action has to be there and the feeling come later. After all we don't always feel like loving someone but does that excuse us from not doing it? Post Reply
beautifulheart4Him View Profile History	Should respect be unconditional? Posted : 7 Jun, 2011 06:35 AM I love unconditionally.... If someone gives me a reason to no longer trust them, I tend to lose respect for that person and it must be earned back if they care enough about me to try. I try to love and respect everyone, but let's be honest...some people do things that truly make them "unrespectable" and they make no excuses for their actions. Lots of prayers are needed for that~ Just sayin'..... Post Reply
View Profile History	Should respect be unconditional? Posted : 8 Jun, 2011 02:18 PM In Ephesians where it says "husbands, love your wives" and "wives, respect your husbands" the Greek words (agape and hupotassomai) are synonyms - they basically have the same meaning, which is to put someone above yourself. Respect does not necessarily mean obey/submit. There is such a thing as respectfully disagreeing. Plus, a woman should not have to obey/submit to a man who is not treating her in accordance with God's will. But she can still respect him, that is, to do what she feels is best for him. Basically this verse commands both partners to do the same thing: do to the other as you would want them to do for you. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should respect be unconditional? Posted : 8 Jun, 2011 07:44 PM Hi Nebulannie! :waving: Question: If you were married and you and your husband did not agree on a decision, what would you do? Post Reply