Ladies (and men if they should choose to comment) I need some advice from a woman point of view!
When a man is in a relationship with a woman is it okay for another woman to even like that man? A similar situation has happened to me where I am in a relationship yet I know for a fact other (Christian) women like me. I'm happy where I am but I am merely curious as to what others think about this. I personally think that it is NOT okay for a woman to like a man that is in a realtionship with a woman.
Any thoughts? I'm seeking thoughts from other Christ-followers not just some random comment like :toomuch:
I'll repost your question for it appears to of been missed.
"When a man is in a relationship with a woman is it okay for another woman to even like that man?"
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I would say no and if she can't help it she should not be making her feelings known. Apparently she has no respect for your relationship.
This is applicable for men also; I do not make my feelings known to a girl who is in a serious relationship and personally when a gal does it to me it is a temptation, one that will end in pain for someone or everyone if it is yeilded to.
Actually this has happened to me before and although it was flattering, I rather despised the woman for offering the temptation as it revealed what kind of person she really was.
You have no control over what others think or feel.
I agree that it is wrong for a woman or man to try to chase or break up a relationship.
Remind them of Deuteronomy 5:21 - �You shall not covet your neighbor�s wife. You shall not set your desire on your neighbor�s house or land, his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.�
You have no control over someone else's feelings. What you do control is what you, yourself, do with your own feelings. Her feelings are her problem, not yours.
Once I was out in the deep, I chummed the water. The little fish particles from the chum bag attracted some little mullet to my boat, and they gleefully nipped away at the dead fish and blood particles until I netted some of them.
So I threw the mullet in the water and I didn't catch anything. So I chopped the mullet up and cast them out and ran into a school of silver snapper. The snapper went crazy eating the mullet, and then some other fish came in, and we were catching them, grouper or whatever.
Then, suddenly, these sharks and barracudas came in. They probably didn't come together, it just happened that way, and they started eating the snapper underwater.
Enjoying myself, I caught a snapper. Then, on a whim, I cast the snapper out and a Cuda bit it. It was amazing. So I started reeling in the cuda and a freaking tiger shark ate the cuda while the poor dude was struggling to fight against my rod! Talk about being between a rod and a sharp place!
yeah.
Anyway, that's what dating is like. It's a feeding frenzy where everybody is biting on every hook, trying to get the best fish out there, killing some, forgetting others. There's blood and flesh and scales strewn all over the place. Sometimes you get hooked, sometimes you get the biggest, most beautiful silver snapper. Sometimes you get a cuda and then a shark comes and steals it from you.
As long as you don't commit those few acts of sin that taint the Christian dating pool on occasion, there's nothing wrong. It's just life and dating.
tinyfrog: you just made my day! lol that is the BEST description of the dating field that I have ever heard of in my entire life! lol I can't stop because it's so true!
as Qui-Gon Quin used to say "There's always a bigger fish" :glow:
I agree we cannot control how others feel or their interests.
that said when a guy is in a relationship with a girl and someone outside that relationship likes one of the participants be it a girl liking the guy or a guy liking the girl. Neither the guy or girl in the relationship can control that. But where it does enter their control is how they respond to that. If either the guy or the girl in that relationship in any way returns or even responds in a way that could be interpreted by the liker (lol) then that is wrong. Having friendships with those of the opposite sex other than who you are in a relationship with is fine as long as it is clear that you are not available beyond that. If you've made it clear to said persons and they still show interest then you need avoid them. A true friend will not seek to come between and destroy a relationship.
You just cannot control what other people think or feel and its not right for someone else to express their interest in someone who is in a serious committed relationship (this goes either way) because it shows disrespect for one's partner and how not good enough they are for that person
But what you choose to do about it is what matters most, if you choose to ignore then you are a person of integrity but if you give in, then you are indeed worthless and not good enough for your partner
But what you have to know is that there will always be people interested in one of the people in a serious relationship but what you do is what matters..
This goes both ways for both men and ladies because it happens on both sides i.e, a man can show interest in a lady who is in a serious relationship and similarly a lady can show interest in a man who is in a serious relationship, it happens to married people too not those who are dating onlyi.e a man showing interest in a married woman and vice versa.
Because there's temptation everywhere and how you choose to handle it is what defines what your character is.
I don't think it's wrong for a woman to like a man who is in a relationship with another woman because liking someone is an emotion and you can't help your emotions. If you "will yourself out of it" you're just lying to yourself. The emotion is still there because it hasn't been dealt with.
BUT it is TOTALLY wrong for the other woman (or man in a reverse of this situation) to act on that emotion. She should not make her feelings known (unless she needs help, in which case a female Christian councilor is the way to go), nor should she make any attempts to "test the waters" so to speak in hopes that the feeling is mutual. She should not even play with the idea of it being a possibility as she should respect the relationship. Sometimes feelings can be pretty transparent though, and she may unintentionally let on her feelings (i.e. getting caught gazing hopelessly at you from across the room :laugh:) in which case you just have to ignore it as she isn't doing it intentionally.
In short, the answer to your question is, NO, it is not wrong for her to LIKE the man.
We can't help our emotions, but we are responsible to deal with them appropriately. So she should recognize that you are unavailable and deal with those feelings in a private manner so that she can move on and stop liking you. If she does deal with them in a private manner, leave her alone and ignore the situation. If she is not dealing with it privately, and especially if she is acting on those feelings and trying to get you for herself, then YES she is in the wrong (but that was not the question you asked :winksmile:) and she needs confronted.
because it's so true!