Author	Thread: If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would......
Admin	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 1 Jun, 2011 05:54 PM If only I could find a man that would lead then I would...._______ (fill in the blank) How many times have you heard, read or even said this? Genesis 3:16 says a Woman will be cursed with a natural desire to try to control and lead. Yet in Timothy 2: 12-14 it says : I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived ; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner." I am not the dictator type and have no desire to be, in fact I am pretty laid back yet I have noticed that gets taken advantage of. I will serve a gal and go along with her, keep her happy and things go good until it is the 1 in 10 time to go along with me, either she refuses or all hell breaks lose. Yeah a woman wants a leader just as long as your leading in the direction she wants you to go. I used to have rental houses and noticed the same thing with renters. Be nice and they take advantage and when you stand up as the owner you are a big Jerk. Yet if you start out as a big Jerk to begin with then are nice one time, you're a Great Guy! I think I am done with compromise and giving women their way. I look around at the feminine men of today being lead around by woman and have no desire to be one of them. I think it is time to revaluate; If a woman wants to follow she can, if not I am not going to try to convince her to, and I am definitely not going to follow her. I know I am not the only guy feeling like this, but sometimes I wonder what goes on in a womans head concerning this subject? Post Reply
View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 1 Jun, 2011 09:12 PM Speaking generally, I think it's in a woman's nature to oversee or try to control certain situations. Many women, myself included, may feel the need to get things done the "right way" because we assume no one else will step up to do it. That attitude can easily carry over to many situations automatically, like relationships. Having that attitude is not necessarily a good thing, and it's going to take more men like you, twosparrows, to "take the bull by the horns" so to speak! I, for one, do not want a person to boss around for the rest of my life! I hope this make sense, but anyways that's my two cents! :glow: Post Reply
nepb47 View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 1 Jun, 2011 11:04 PM Why do you think that her desire for her husband means she desires control? I always thought it meant she desires romance/love from her husband. Besides, not all women want to control their husbands, some of us have learned how to sit down and shut up. I can hear you say "But you had to -learn- how to sit down and shut up." It is human nature, plain old selfishness that wants its own way and it is not exclusively a woman's problem. NB Post Reply
View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 2 Jun, 2011 06:31 AM NB, I have come to the sad conclusion as Eve stepped out of her role and attempted to take what was given to Adam so it is today even in Christianity with few exceptions. Just another sign we are drawing close to the end of this age. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 2 Jun, 2011 10:03 AM women know right away if we can follow the person or not. we dont have to be talked into it or anything silly like that. Post Reply
View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 2 Jun, 2011 10:40 AM Your right I am bring silly, it's not like women are known to change their mind as they actually follow their emotions. Geesh, what was I thinking?! Post Reply
View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 2 Jun, 2011 10:43 AM It may be that some women have never had that in their lives to know what it means to submit to a real man of God to submit to the Christ that is in him. They may have had to take over the role of head because of absenteeism by the men in her life. i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. Because she has learned strength but there is order in God's Kingdom, so when the right man comes the one God has predestined just for her she then needs to ask God how to submit in love to her husband. I act tough sometimes because it has gotten me through a lot of situations and at times abuse to the point i didn't recognize myself. Let's continue to mortify the flesh and learn to be soft and womanly and loved by the man whom God created... just for us. that's just my two cents lol! Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 2 Jun, 2011 11:05 AM I know that I have a somewhat passive personality...I'm usually a pretty easy-going, laid back, go-with-the-flow type of girl. That doesn't mean that I don't have opinions about things. I can be very opinionated! Neither does it mean that I can't make my own decisions. I sure can! I have done so many times, and have made several decisions about rather big and life-changing things. BUT. I don't really enjoy that sort of pressure, and I don't usually step up and take charge if there is a more natural leader who can do it. So you see, if I married a passive guy whose tendency is to let others lead, neither of us would naturally take the initiative to make decisions. Very little would get accomplished, and we would get frustrated with each other. Therefore, I want to find a guy who can lead. I want him to be willing to step up and take responsibility, consult me...but then ultimately be capable of making the decision that he believes is in line with God's will. He shouldn't be expected to make every little tiny decision, and I don't think that "leading" is the same thing as controlling. (If I can't do anything without asking his permission, something is wrong with how he is leading, and it is probably more along the lines of controlling.) I suppose if I were a "natural" leader who always wanted to make the decisions, though, I might have a very hard time submitting to a husband's leadership! Did that make sense? I feel like I just sort of rambled on and on without saying much... Oh well. :rolleyes: Post Reply
View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 2 Jun, 2011 11:24 AM Pianogal, I think you said a bunch of good stuff and I understood it perfectly. Post Reply
View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 2 Jun, 2011 12:06 PM First things first: hi everyone, I'm back :) And now to the point - I kind of agree with Pianogal. Besides, it's not only women who have sinned. As much as we desire men but can't stand them rulling over us (Gen 3:16), so the guys are avoiding taking any responsibility (Gen 3:12) and don't want to work hard and lead their families (Gen 3:17-19). For a man, to be the head - it's not only a privilege, it often becomes a burden! I am tired of meeting guys for whom it is sooo convenient that I know my way through the world... They give up any initiative and the leadership they were made for. And I keep on wearing the pants, even if I don't want to. What I am trying to say: I CAN take responsibility and initiative, and I CAN be the leader if I have to. To my disappointment - I often have to. My question is - can MEN take responsibility, initiative and be Godly leaders? and be the head? I still hope so :) Post Reply
View Profile History	If I could only find a man who would lead THEN I would...... Posted : 2 Jun, 2011 04:31 PM Sparrow, I think it is a tad bit unfair to reduce a woman's perspective on marital material down to leadership...BUT since you did and I am on a roll, here is what I think: I have tried to "fix" things in the past because somewhere along the line I got the idea into my head that that was what I was supposed to do as a wife and mother. I can admit that I turned the idea of family into an idol twice. (Like I didn't learn the first time!) I was unable to live up to my own mistaken convictions. What I needed was, indeed, leadership of the husband persuasion...and not because I said so, but because the Lord declared it: For the husband is head of the wife... I made a terrible 'head of household.' It was a position I was not meant to be in, yet because of my circumstances I had no choice. At least I know what it is like to be a leader, and I know how to better support my beloved Texan as he has started assuming that role. And he has the desires to be in that role. Post Reply

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