Author	Thread: Curvy
Tulip89 View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 21 Aug, 2010 06:28 AM While Brandon's trying to figure out what "girl next door" means, I would like to know what the heck "curvy" is supposed to mean. Not block shaped? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 25 Aug, 2010 06:28 PM Being taken is a perfectly good reason to only have a face pic. That said, life isn't safe. You have to be willing to put yourself out there, especially in dating. Why should a guy put himself out there a lot for a girl who won't put herself out there even a little? Post Reply
View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 25 Aug, 2010 06:54 PM I see what you're saying, Tulip... I suppose that I'm a little overly body-shy and overly sensitive about things and that I let this colour my choices in regards to putting myself out there. I'm also slightly paranoid, but I have good reason to be. And guys don't have ginormous chests, so I think that maybe it it difficult for them to understand how it feels to have people form opinions and/or develop attractions because of your bust-line... Like, this one time this guy (who I didn't know) said to me that looking at my chest made him want to touch himself. And then there was this other time at the grocery store when this couple walked by me and the guy said (loudly) to the woman he was with, "I would pay good money to get you a chest like that." And stuff like that is ALWAYS happening to me. I could go on for paragraphs about all of the inappropriate comments I've gotten. I am trying really hard to be confident and to have a good body image, but it's really difficult when stuff like this happens on an ongoing basis. And I just don't think that guys understand that. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 25 Aug, 2010 08:14 PM @Pixy I am very sorry that has happened to you. No one has the right to say that to you!! I for one wouldn't stand for it :boxing: You know one thing I tell women that have men hit on them or say nasty things to them is share the gospel withthem. It'll scare them off, or change their hearts :applause: I know you probably dont wanna hear advise, and I apologize (natural male tendancy to wanna fix things) but please dont let men who have no self control dictate you your image. :) Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 25 Aug, 2010 08:16 PM We might not necessarily understand being judged for that specific physical feature, but we get judged for physical features all the time. Black belt with brown shoes? Obviously I can't take him anywhere. He'd always embarrass me. 5'8"? I only date guys 6' and taller. 1 year younger? I only date older men. Small frame? I need a guy with big muscles to make me feel safe. European ancestry? I only date guys darker than me. Drive your dad's old car? I only date guys with bigger cars than mine. It doesn't even have to be negative. A guy with a little success out of college suddenly has girls beating down the door to get a shot at his money. I think we understand better than you might think. Post Reply
View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 25 Aug, 2010 08:40 PM @Rabbit- Thanks. @Tulip- You're right. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 25 Aug, 2010 10:17 PM I think we learn to process these judgments differently though. Guys are usually solution-based in their response, so when I complained about feeling too weak this summer, my friend responded with, "I'll make out a work out schedule for you." I was weak. The solution was to work out. He would help me achieve that. Girls tend to be more feelings-support-based. If a girl tells her friend she feels overweight that day, her friend will likely respond with, "No you're not. You're gorgeous! Look at your eyes. I'm so jealous of your eyes," or something to that extent to make sure her feelings are safe. Big problems come when feelings can't be fixed by a couple words of encouragement or a problem by a simple solution. Maybe I can't bulk up. Maybe that girl can't get down to the weight she feels is prettiest. On one extreme is letting the feelings overwhelm them. They become too much, and people suddenly start looking for an escape: eating disorders, steroids, cutting, pornography, affairs, etc. On the other extreme, they completely shut down emotionally. They give that "everything is fine" smile, won't let anybody help them, and try to fix what can't be fixed. The only real solution is to turn to Christ though. This isn't just about body image or relationships either. There are all kinds of situations where the question has no straight answer. The only one who can really answer them is the God of the universe, and he calls us to lay those problems down at his feet. Older people have gone through so many more of these situations than young folks, which is why a church culture of mentors is so important. Maybe they can offer stories where God came through for them. Maybe they can give you an answer you couldn't see before. Maybe they can just be there going through it with you and praying for you. Regardless, a young woman is probably going to get a lot more valuable insight from a 55 year old wife of an elder than from a whole group of other similar aged women. Same goes for a young man. Hopefully they can then turn around and invest in the lives of a young person later. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 25 Aug, 2010 11:21 PM you said it better than I could :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 25 Aug, 2010 11:49 PM thanks Brandon for your words: 'I think you just explained why the body type status is irrelevant much better than I could.' I re-read my own post and thought I didn't make sense. Oh well I don't always do LOL :) And Pixy, I can feel your pain re: receiving some intimidating comments. Thans everybody for sharing and encouragement!!! to use the Word as a sword - don't know why it never crossed my mind. It should have been obvious... Post Reply
View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 26 Aug, 2010 03:04 AM How right you are, Tulip... And I've been to both of those extremes, unfortunately =( I really need to find a church that has older women who actually want to mentor the younger ladies. @Marianna- Nooo... don't say that! LOL I don't want anyone to feel my pain! It's one of those things where it's nice to know people who can relate... but it would be better if they couldn't because who would wish rude/crude/intimidating comments on anyone! As far as the BBW issue brought up earlier, I don't even know what BBW means. I keep meaning to Google it but always forget. I'm guessing it means not skinny since it's put in there with big & tall. But a big & tall guy isn't necessary fat really. Sometimes he's just really muscular. Like a football player. So maybe it means a bodybuilder type woman? Or maybe Tulip is right about what he said. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Curvy Posted : 26 Aug, 2010 04:18 AM It stands for big beautiful woman, supposedly meaning that she is still attractive or desirable despite being very overweight, but it's generally just ends up being synonymous with obesity in most people's minds. Post Reply

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