So I was wondering why every girl I've met wants to date rather than court. Is it just modern cultural influences or what? Are there any women around who still believe in courting?
You folks crack me up. You really think that a man is going to lie in front of family members or Church members? The number one complaint I've heard from women today is "Men only care about sex." WHAT DO YOU EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE DATING/LIVING TOGETHER AND ALONE??????? You can't put bacon in front of a dog and expect it to never eat it even if it has been trained. Some "christians" even say that living together is the only way to really get to know someone but the Bible teaches that this should only happen as Husband and Wife. Do people really have so little faith in God and His control over their lives? Romans 8:28, Proverbs 16:3 and 16:9
I submit the following: Ephesians 5:21-33
21 - Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 - Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 - For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 - Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 - to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 - and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 - In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 - After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church� 30 - for we are members of his body.
:stop:31 - "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.:stop:"
32 - This is a profound mystery�but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 - However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Many of you have presented various reasons as to why dating is more "practical/efficient/whatever else you can come up with" but none of them are based on truth and you know it. Perhaps if you read the following passages you may feel differently about which is more relevant, practicality and convenience or truth and integrity.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
7:1-11
13:1-13
Proverbs 10:9
11:20
12:4
I pray that everyone that reads this gains an understanding of the purpose of marriage. Courting is more than a way to get to know someone, it is the Biblical method to approach the institution of marriage.
I agree with SOS regarding a couple spending one-on-one time together. Unless the couple is underage, I think it's imperative that they be able to get to know each other without constant intervention and supervision. After all, once they're married, they'll need to know how converse, problem solve, etc. w/out having someone there constantly to help them out. I just don't think that the micromanaging is necessary.
That said, I don't think that it is a bad idea for them to have some mutual friends or a mentoring couple that they check in with from time to time. I don't know that it's beneficial to conduct the relationship completely independently from others, as sometimes we don't see red flags or negative patterns on our own.
I do think think it's good for a couple to have marriage in mind when they date/court. I don't believe in recreational dating and think that a couple ought to be very intentional about how they go about things.
@northMANjack- Just because a couple is alone at times does not mean that they are living together and sexually involved. There IS a middle ground there. Also, the Bible does not command courtship as you define it.
Yup, whatever you say. Perhaps you have some scriptures that address the issue...so far, all I've see on the posts are opinions with no scriptural backing.
The Bible also doesn't command us not to use drugs and a host of other things we as Christians know we shouldn't do. I think we should go ahead and do these things because if it's not in the Bible it must be okay, right?
:ROFL:
All I asked was a simple yes or no question, "Do women still believe in courting?" Perhaps it was too much of a personal question. In any case, God bless you all. I've enjoyed reading all the posts. Stay strong and grow in faith.
"The Bible also doesn't command us not to use drugs and a host of other things we as Christians know we shouldn't do. I think we should go ahead and do these things because if it's not in the Bible it must be okay, right?"
I could use the same "logic" with your argument, northMANjack. You have no Scripture to directly support your OPINION either. The fact is, the Bible is fairly silent as to how a couple ought to get to know each other.
If you've spent time in prayer over this and feel God's conviction to pursue a particular woman through traditional courtship, then you ought to follow your conviction... and I wasn't trying to imply that you shouldn't. But God has not convicted me that way. And we're all tempted differently and may need to have different boundaries... If someone knows that he or she will give into temptation by being alone with his or her date, then, yeah, maybe that's not something they should be doing.
I don't think that it's wise to approach courtship/dating from a legalistic standpoint, however, and impose a set of rules that the Bible doesn't even speak about. We are to base our decisions on what honours, glorifies, and points to Christ and what IS said in God's Word, not on man-made traditions. "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ," (Colossians 2:8, NIV).
I think what's important is that a couple centres their relationship on Christ and that they remain prayerful throughout the process and that they do seek the wisdom and guidance of other believers, as appropriate... and also that they remain flexible -- that is, that if they discover they have set a boundary incorrectly, that they have the wisdom to alter how they're going about things. In all this, they must follow the Lord's leading and not just assume that they're within the will of God because they're obeying a set of man-made rules.
1. If you wanted our replies to be backed up with scripture, then you should have stipulated so in your initial post
2. As to your analogy:
You can�t put bacon in front of a dog and expect it never to eat it even it if has been trained
the honor and reputation of a woman is not to be compared with a piece of irrisistable PIG meat....
Also as you may know YHWH ELOHIM has stipulated that pig meat can not be eaten. That must have slipped your mind when you so delicately compared other persons He created with dogs (wanting to eat) pig meat or pig meat itself.
3.You have great knowledge of the bible, yet little understanding. NONE of your quoted bible verses refer to courting
4.I would like to bring forward Tamar and Ruth who were both explicitly blessed in the way they achieved their partner.
6. (number 5 is really offensive)
Next time you post, make sure that you abstain from wishing everyone who does not agree with you to grow in faith...
as you have not proven any superior knowledge so far
Why do you keep lumping dating and living together in with each other? Nobody here is advocating living together before marriage. If they do, they are very likely not actually a Christian. Many people in the bible were married through arranged marriage though. Shouldn't you be arguing for that, since that's in the bible way more often than courtship? Or could it be that in a God-centered relationship, there isn't a step by step process God set out that is right?
You have no scripture that directly supports courting. Instead of conceding that you would just prefer to do it that way, you're trying to make courting into something that it is not. There is a difference between a principle and an application. We all agree with you on the principle of a Christ-centered relationship, personal purity, integrity, saving both sexual and emotional intimacy for marriage, etc, but the application of that does not have to look the same for every person as long as they still maintain the principles. Courting is merely an application, just like Christian dating.
1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Keep Your Marriage Vows
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
Live as You Are Called
17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. 20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord�s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ�s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.
To the Unmarried and Widows
25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress�that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, 31 and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.
32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord�how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world�how he may please his wife. 34 There is[a] a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world�how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin,[b] does well. 38 So then he who gives her[c] in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment�and I think I also have the Spirit of God.
So according to this, it's better to remain single to serve God. So why get married? If two people can love each other and God without being married, then why go through this supposedly "more Godly" process called courtship? In my opinion marriage is all about loving someone so much that you don't want to be separated from them by anything. That's when you get married. Courtship...dating...being stuck on a desert island...it doesn't matter as long as you have a God-centered attitude about it and are committed to each other. I've seen 70 year marriages that started with a premarital pregnancy and I've seen "courtship" marriages go up in flames after months. So whats your point?
