Author	Thread: Do nice guys generally finish last?
ArtisticInIowa View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 6 Feb, 2012 08:04 AM Okay ladies, this is probably a dumb question to begin with. I'm just curious, but why does it seem like the nice guys generally finish last? The only reason I ask is because that is what it feels like most days. Maybe it's because they don't believe I have a backbone, although it seems for the majority that they think there is a hitch.... You know...."Hey you're a really nice guy, but if I met you I'm afraid you'd be completely different." My recent question I was asked in regards to my divorce. I guess if I'm divorced it means that we both had issues, which negates the fact that I'm a nice guy due to the fact that I am divorced. My ex divorced me because she said she didn't love me anymore, didn't want to try to work it out and in the long run wasn't too happy with my quite controlling father. I didn't think it was to much to ask for a chance, but it's odd that I seem to get a "there's got to be a hitch somewhere" with the majority of women I speak to. Yes, I am real. Yes, I would give the coat off my back to someone who was cold, or the food off my plate if someone was hungry. I strive to be like Christ on a daily basis and am happy with the man I am. There is no hidden agenda, just a man who wants to find a woman who shares similar interests and wants to be happy and in love for the rest of their life. Thanks for any and all answers... Matt Post Reply
View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 9 Feb, 2012 02:21 PM I should also say that if the original poster wanted to be taken seriously by adult women, he should get rid of any pictures where he is posing with children's toys. Just a suggestion. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 9 Feb, 2012 02:57 PM This is an interesting thread, especially in light of a conversation I had with two of my single friends last night. We were having some great girl-talk, and we got to talking about the single guys we know. Here are some of the things that we said about them: 1. They are really cute guys. 2. They are intelligent, have a solid education, and can carry on a really intellectually stimulating conversation...or just goof off and have fun. 3. They are Christians, and are active in church. 4. They avoid committing to anything long-term because they keep "waiting for God to show them the next step to take" in their lives. 5. They complain constantly about being single, and seem to have a generally negative outlook on life that they blame on their single status. 6. From what we can tell, and for reasons that are mysterious to us, they almost never ask girls out. When they do actually get a date, they break things off almost immediately because they aren't 100% sure right off that she's "the one." (Their words, not mine.) 7. They are genuinely nice guys, and they are genuinely good guys. Our conclusion? They are exactly that...GUYS. Not men. They are boys in 30+ year old bodies. If they were really serious about dumping their single status, they would man up, ask some girls out, and if there were not major dealbreakers they would keep on dating the girls. Instead of actually trying, they come to us single girls and complain. Oh, but they are also pretty vocal about not appreciating it when single girls "hit on them" or make it clear that they want to date them, because, after all, aren't guys supposed to take the lead? :rolleyes: Anyhoo, all that to say, a guy and be a genuinely nice guy, and he can be a genuinely good guy, but if he's behaving like these big kids my friends and I know, it's no wonder girls are turned off by the idea of a "nice guy!" We want a real, Godly, MAN! Post Reply
View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 9 Feb, 2012 03:14 PM @bcpianogal Maybe the ones waiting for a message from God to tell them which step to take next arent being quiet enough to hear Him. Also, I would say that 95% of men (including those who appear confident in everything) have a fear of rejection. They are looking for a "sure thing". They fail to realize that rejection is just a part of life. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 9 Feb, 2012 03:20 PM For alot of men, a woman who is so "forward" is not attractive to them. It doesnt seem lady-like to them. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 9 Feb, 2012 05:40 PM bcpianogal, I've known many guys like that too. Good looking. Socially intelligent. Plenty of girls would be interested in them, but they're waiting for a light to stream down from heaven and announce "THE ONE." Or - as you said - they're guys, not men. And as long as God hasn't announced "THE ONE", they want to still play the field and not get tied down. As for the ridiculously sexist comments about women in this thread, they need to stop. No man worth anything is threatened by a woman who portrays positive attributes. Women owe you nothing, including fitting your definition of what makes a "lady." Post Reply
IaoKim View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 9 Feb, 2012 05:46 PM Devoted, Just to clarify when I referred to a strong, confident woman, I was referring to the Biblical view of what a woman should be. And as Christian guys we should want that kind of woman. Like godsgirl said, women suffer the same problem as men when it comes to the culture and media. But that is really another topic all together. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 10 Feb, 2012 06:08 AM Just grin and bear it. Just grin and bear it... Post Reply
View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 10 Feb, 2012 06:57 PM And as long as God hasn't announced "THE ONE", they want to still play the field and not get tied down. ^And why shouldn't they? It's not like they owe you anything either especially when all women do is judge, criticize, tease, manipulate, and ultimately reject guys that actually do approach. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 10 Feb, 2012 07:10 PM All we hear is talk like this about what a hateful, repulsive, pathetic thing a nice guy is and then women turn around and wonder why guys are so rude, disrespectful and indifferent towards them. Post Reply
View Profile History	Do nice guys generally finish last? Posted : 11 Feb, 2012 02:40 AM Thank you IODC! I know we are being bias and picking a select few to represent the majority when it comes to categorizing women's traits, but you male a brilliant point. Can someone point a verse in the scriptures that says that men do not have feelings or emotions? When we are stabbed; we bleed, when we fall on our face; we break our nose, when we face an army of thousands; we tremble with fear,, when a woman rejects us and judges and criticizes us with their friends; will we not be hurt or offended? It's like you expect us to be like... I dunno, the terminator. Post Reply

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