Author	Thread: Are you tired of...
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 14 Oct, 2010 06:47 PM ...carrying conversations? I don't know if most of us ladies experience this or if it's pretty much just me, but I am getting very tired of carrying conversations. There are a few guys I talk to with whom I have good conversations, but it seems like the majority of guys who message me either never ask questions, write VERY short messages, or worse give one-word answers. I am tired of trying to carry conversations with guys whose profiles make them seem like someone I want to talk to. I don't know if they're just duds or if it's a "guy thing," and if it's a "guy thing" then does anyone have advice for how I can coax a decent conversation? Another question is, what are some things guys (or girls if you're a guy and are willing to share your input as well) have said that make it seem like they're trying too hard to impress you? That's another thing that annoys me... Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 05:37 PM @Alison. There is no delete button :ROFL: @paschen. I write really wordy messages a lot myself, but I have given up because it didn't seem to be well-received. Maybe we just haven't found the right kind of guys? Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 05:46 PM @cowgirl - quite possibly. Post Reply
SilverFire View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 06:49 PM Of course, I disagree. Online communication is so much easier than real-life communication; in real-life, there is no delete key, and you're always sending. You don't have the time to get the perfect word; you stumble and say the wrong things; you say "uhm" and "ah" and "y'know" and "well" and a thousand other filler words. Here, I have enough time to say what I want and to say it correctly, and even IMs give me enough time, usually, to say it right. Sure, you lose some information through emails and IMs, but that's what they invented emoticons for. I usually don't have a problem carrying on long and interesting conversations, but the motivation has to be there and it has to be with someone who also communicates in a similar way. Really, if the conversation is dying, that's a sign that the other person is having some kind of communicative block (anxiety, distraction, lack of interest), which means that the relationship is probably a dead-end. See? It's so easy to figure that out online. In real-life, that kind of situation is very painful and uncomfortable. I always use the ability to communicate online as a screen for future relationships. If the girl can't write well enough to talk here, why would I care about talking in real life? I'm totally shocked that y'all put up with guys who can't/won't write. If I have to carry more than a few emails, I'm outta there! Post Reply
View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 08:09 PM I'm watching Pride and Prejudice, the A&E version with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth. Mr. Darcy's difficulty in conversing with people reminded me of this thread. He came accross as not being able to carry a conversation, but that was because he was outside of his element. Once you see him back home is does very well. Writting to get to know each other is a great way to start, but sooner or later you will switch to deaper subject matters which are better discussed either in person or on a video chat. It may be that they just didn't have the courage to move to the next step and let the conversation die out. And, yes, that is my favorite mini-series. Kinda ironic since my second favorite mini-series is Band of Brothers. Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 15 Oct, 2010 11:58 PM I agree with Silver about it helping. I actually thought more people would say it's easier, so I was surprised! For me, I feel more comfortable opening up. The rejection isn't as hurtful. Which actually is one of the things Silver said too, haha. I have a lot more friends I've met online than I've met in person. Part of that is because of my job, but part of that is because I've made a deep connection with some of my online friends because we talked about things that I wouldn't talk about to people I've met in person, at least not as quickly. Post Reply
View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 12:08 AM I feel more comfortable opening up online too. Post Reply
View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 07:26 AM Oh well sure it's easier to open up. You don't have to worry about seeing their body language/facial expression if they don't immediately like your profile picture. I do it too - make a face if the picture isn't something I would typically find attractive, but I email back to be polite. If the conversation keeps up, then the person becomes more attractive in other areas. Which is what we would want anyway, since physical beauty fades over time anyway. (I've heard women are their most attractive at age 30 anyway.) So in that respect, online conversation is better, it ends with being more attracted to the person and not the pictures necessarily. Post Reply
TogetherinChrist View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 08:25 AM There are only so many things that you can say online or even on the phone.It's time to take the next step...Starbucks..lol...I know some people live too far! :-) God has created us each as individuals...I know it's hard..I find myself doing it too..but we shouldn't sterotype or put ALL guys or ALL gals into a catagory..we are all different,created in Christ image...I suggest just being polite..end the conversation..."I'll talk to you later"...another thing..maybe they are texting at the same time...my son and daughter multi-task with the best of them. Our technoligy has grown so much in the last 5 years.It will continue to grow..so let us take advantage of it...encourage one another,rather than us becoming discouraged. There are soo many of us...can you imagine Gods job...he loves keeping watch over us and our silly ways! Lol Steven 1 Peter 4:10 Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	Are you tired of... Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 02:53 PM Yes it may be easier to open up in a sense but how much easier is it to be deceived by someone who says they are one thing but in real life the opposite is true? I know even myself without purposely trying am different online than I am in real life. I am more outspoken and/or bolder than I am in real life simply because the online realm offers a sort of anonymity that you don't get whiten you are actually face to face with someone. As for being rejected online being less painful...maybe for some but for me it hurts worse because in person I have learned to expect rejection due to my outer appearance...but online they are rejecting who I am rather than just what I look like. Post Reply

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