Author	Thread: A "friend", a "brother"... but not a boyfriend?
armorofgod744 View Profile History	A "friend", a "brother"... but not a boyfriend? Posted : 18 Sep, 2010 10:39 PM Ladies, For several years... that's right, YEARS!, I have been seeking the Lord's will in leading me to my special someone. Through this site, and a few others, from time to time I have been blessed with e-mail and IM exchanges that flow beautifully, and even progress to phone conversations. And then, the time comes to meet in person... and that's the end of it all. Almost invariably, the ladies tell me that I seem like a friend or a brother.... but they instantly write me off as someone they don't want to pursue any further toward a relationship. I'm at a total loss as to how to understand this... they tell me that I have a lot to offer to a girl (I'm a nice guy, very sincere, Godly, etc.), but they aren't interested. Every time I go through this with someone, my hopes for finally breaking out of this rut and meeting my special lady grow just a little dimmer. I'm getting so frustrated and so burnt out on this whole thing. Can someone please help me? And tell me how I might find a Godly lady who just might be willing to let things progress beyond just one date before writing me off completely? Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	A "friend", a "brother"... but not a boyfriend? Posted : 20 Sep, 2010 03:52 PM Flesh vs. Spirit? I think that's taking it a little too far. Are you telling me that you've never met a girl who looked good on paper, but you didn't click with? Post Reply
View Profile History	A "friend", a "brother"... but not a boyfriend? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 09:23 AM Tulip is right, some people you just don't click with. It's not about avoiding the issue or not wanting to be honest. It's just the little things, that add up, and well, you can't get past them. It really is all about that "Gut" feeling. And for girls, letting her know your interested in her is more than saying I'm interested. We may not show it, but we really want to be courted, to be pursued. Flowers are great, but it does not have to always be roses. Sometimes just a simple daisy, or a black-eyed-Susan does the trick. It shows that you put a little thought into your actions. Try and find out what the girl likes. When you actively show that you are willing to invest in her, she is more likely to be interested in her. It's your actions that show your interested to us. Remember, girls are more feeling based. Post Reply
ben315 View Profile History	A "friend", a "brother"... but not a boyfriend? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 10:40 AM I would have to agree with "cobbler" exspecially about the confidence part. I am always told how sweet and nice I am but that I don't have no confidence. It is rather hard to keep your confidence when it takes so long to even get a first date, sometimes 3+ months when they only live 10minutes away..... that is if you ever do get a date from them, than they never want a second date. After a while you just tend to give up and loose what little confidence you have left. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	A "friend", a "brother"... but not a boyfriend? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 01:52 PM My question to you, Ben, is why is your confidence based on what other people think of you? Even if women all like you, you're still going to be a slave to their opinion. Post Reply
woman_of_integrity View Profile History	A "friend", a "brother"... but not a boyfriend? Posted : 22 Sep, 2010 06:21 PM Honestly, I don't think it is about anything you are doing or not doing. It may just be that God is protecting you from getting involved with the wrong people in order to lead you to the right person in His way and time. I tend to think that trying to change onself to become more desirable to a specific person or persons will only lead to disappointment in the end. No doubt, there is a woman out there who will like you just the way you are from the first date. Post Reply
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	A "friend", a "brother"... but not a boyfriend? Posted : 27 Sep, 2010 11:52 AM I just read your last post and have been wondering the same thing in my life. I am 38 years old have never been married and do not have any kids. if anyone had told me that I would be this age and not married 15 years ago I would not have believed them. When I go through things and try to make sense of what the purpose is. I remember. All things work together for good. I have not quite figured out what the good is in this phase of my life. But my father feels that this is beneficial for me now. Perhaps to have compassion for singles and to never forget to pray for them. Also, to remember when I get a spouse what my life was like without them and remember to cherish them. God is our father and he will not withhold ANY good thing from us. You will never miss the person God has for you. Post Reply

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