Author	Thread: The friendship trap :-O
Rabbit32 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 10:23 AM Dear Ladies An aspect of courtship and dating that has always alluded me is going beyond friendship with a woman, I am interested in. I believe friendship is an essential foundation for a marriage, so many skip this part of a relationship. Furthermore some women wont be friends with you because they are afraid you might like them. How would they ever know that they dont like me if they never know who I am. I love God whom I never saw, only by knowing Him. Ok maybe the last part was more of a rant (sorry) :bunny: So ladies if a man who you are friends with wants to go beyond friendship, how does he approach you without damging that friendship. :) Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 10 Apr, 2010 12:44 AM Thanks TB! Where so many of mainstream Christian culture's opinions on dating came from, I'll never know. Most of them just make no sense when you look at them in the proper light. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 10 Apr, 2010 02:45 AM No hard feelings remp. I just burst out . I did certainly not laugh at you. I laughed because you I thought it was funny you said. Please keep being spontaneous! I love it.:waving::waving: Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 10 Apr, 2010 12:55 PM I laughed a lot, now I am going to talk a lot:laugh: This is what I would answer on your question Sir Rabbit32 Sir [If a man who you are friends with wants to go beyond friendship, how does he approach you without damaging that friendship?] I think that on the moment you have developped feelings for your lady friend, that previous, platonic friendship does not exist no more. I think you must realize that it will never be the same no more, no matter what the outcome of your trying to go beyond is. If it is mutual, then still you are no longer "just friends" If it is not, then the just friends also does not apply, but you can certainly, if both parties are somewhat mature, continue the friendship. Like Godslamb already said, but it will not be the same. My experience is however, that it is often the one who had the extra feelings and made the approach, that has real problems in continuing the friendship. Also, it often turns out, that men, after being turned down, are not interested no more in being just a friend. I don�t know why exactly but I somehow feel that they are constantly reminded of their failed "move"... One last thing, a women can also feel very much "abused" if she finds out that you were suppose to be "just a friend" and have been walking around with those extra�s a real long time. She might feel her trust in you has been betrayed because the platonic intimacy she shares with you (confiding things to you for instance) might be more than she would ever give to you, in case she had known that you were after more and never told her before. I would therefore say, that you should never wait too long in telling her how you really feel. But hey, this is my personal opinion. Other women might feel completely different about this. Last but not least. These kind of nightmare scenario�s should not bother you too much though. Women, specially the ones you are friends with, will not make a scene or start a war if you appraoch them. You should not be so afraid in opening up. I think a mature woman knows how to treat a friend, even if he no longer wants to be one.... I stick with my earlier post: if you llike the lady at first sight, be clear about the type of friendship you are after, from the very beginning If you are friends already, and one day, you find yourself having fallen in love with her. Go for it. Think first.... but go for it. I know there is a saying that you must only follow your heart when your head allows you to, but for those who keep waiting for the head to make a descision, please follow the heart. After all we are talking about a crazy little thing called LOVE. Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 15 Apr, 2010 12:01 AM I'm sure this will sound a little bit delusional, but I suppose I picture it to be like on "When Harry Met Sally," where they just gradually fall in love, while being 'just friends,' and then 'accidentally' kiss. It seems so natural and easy... well, except for that part where Sally doesn't talk to Harry for awhile. Haha! Post Reply

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