Author	Thread: Would you respect a man who.....
Admin	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 5 Dec, 2010 09:30 PM Ok, so I am just back from salsa lessons at a local venue. They have lessons from 8-9 and then a live band afterwards. So during the lesson, one of my partners (you end up switching like every minute or so) corrected me on how I was holding her hand during a turn. I thought I was doing it like the instructor had said but she offered a bit of insight and correction. I said no problem, glad to adjust. Ok, so a little bit of a bruise to the male ego, lol, but that is my issue not hers. So my overly analytical mind got to wondering. If a woman offers a suggestion/correction like that, does the woman think less of the guy, respect him less? She said thanks for being open minded when I was glad to take her suggestion, but still. Is if different if the guy gladly accepts the suggestion? What if it is something guys are supposed be good at, like leading at dancing? Just curious what women are thinking in a situation like this. Post Reply
MargoSolo View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 07:31 AM Hi Shawn I've taken lots of dancing lessons in the past (2 step, polka, swing, etc) and have been in this setting. I used to dance competitively and used to working together in this way. I considered it a partnership. Its all about attitude, though. Anyone with a "know it all" mindset isn't easy to work with, guy OR gal. I did work with one guy who changed the routine at the last minute and was real take charge. My thinking was that it would be more detrimental to argue with him than to just go along with it. Discord would have showed up in the dancing. I would have respected a little humility. Oh well, it was fun anyway. Margo Post Reply
View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 08:46 AM Shawn, When a man takes some time to at least consider what woman is suggesting, that show that the man values what the woman is saying. I'm sure that is how she felt, that you valued her opinion. As Cobbler said earlier, it's when you change your principles, that women will think less of you. Post Reply
View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 09:16 AM Well, realistically, it�s when you compromise on what she considers to be principles is when she will think less of you. Of course since she is the only one that knows what they are, it�s all just a guessing game and you just have to throw a �hail marry� and hope for the best. Actually talking things over and working with the other person means that there is something wrong with you, since we should all just know what the other person wants without talking things over. Post Reply
View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 10:27 AM Cobbler, I guess I wasn't thinking in terms of "just friends." Um... It depends on how close of friends you are with a gal, I suppose. If you were pretty close, I think what I said previously would be okay. If it was just someone in a dance class, then you could say something specific to the situation, such as, "I'm new at this, so if I'm doing something wrong, let me know," or "I hope to learn all I can from this, so feel free to offer any constructive criticism." Post Reply
marikashome View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 10:34 AM Any man who is willing to accept a suggestion I make and act on it has just gone up about 100 points in my estimation. And if I made a suggestion in a social setting, you could take it as a high complement-it would mean that I felt comfortable enough to offer a suggestion without embarrassing you or risking being misunderstood. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 02:10 PM no I wouldnt think less and I would be kinda emberassed to say anything to him..but I eventually would. Post Reply
View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 08:18 PM depending on her height versus your height, perhaps she preferred a slightly different wrist angle? Perhaps she was looking for any chance she could think of to talk to you, so since you were a new student, that was the easiest in for her. If I knew some dancing and saw a cute new student I might take that angle :) Maybe you could ask her what her suggestion would be for any other part of the lesson. Either way, she was bold enough to give a suggestion. There were several ways you could have responded, and I think you definitely took the best route. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 08:27 PM Since it was a dance class, I think that it would be completely acceptable for her to correct your mistakes. That's the point of a class. If you had been out dancing as a couple, and it was not a class setting, I can see where it might be a bit embarrassing (particularly in public) for her to correct you. I correct guys all the time when they are making errors in their piano playing...I'm a piano teacher, and that's my job...but if a guy is playing for me just because he wants to (and isn't looking for help with the piece), I won't correct a thing. It would be rude of me to assume that I can criticize his performance without his permission. But yes, I'd respect a man who could handle some criticism far more than I could respect a man who always had to be right no matter how wrong he was. By "handle some criticism", I don't mean that he's ok with being a doormat and being walked all over. Post Reply
View Profile History	Would you respect a man who..... Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 08:30 PM eh, to answer the question more directly: I wouldn't take it as a sign of being less respected; though how you respond could lead to less respect. Is if different if the guy gladly accepts the suggestion?Yes it would be different if you ungladly took the suggestion. Or gladly didn't take the suggestion - she would think you didn't think her suggestion was very good; possibly get offended, probably wouldn't offer more suggestions. What if it is something guys are supposed be good at, like leading at dancing? I know lots of guys who aren't good at leading - mostly because they don't bother trying. Good for you for trying. And taking the suggestions - it's kinda hard to couple dance if you're not experienced with it - it is for me anyway - to kinda go with it and 'let' a guy lead you around. Perhaps that was that lady's way of not letting go of all the control - by telling you what you ought to be doing. Post Reply

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