Author	Thread: Realistic Expectations?
Admin	Realistic Expectations? Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 07:47 AM I would like to hear peoples views on womens stated expectations in profiles. I find many of the profiles I read rather intimidating when it comes to what women want. I see women in the mid to late 30's or 40's who still list they want 3 or 4 kinds. They also want to be missionaries. They also expect the man to be "financially stable" (i read that as rich). In my view rather idealistic expectations are put out there which I find way to intimidating to try to commit to. What happened to two people just liking each other and making a go at life and what happens is what happens? Post Reply
View Profile History	Realistic Expectations? Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 10:14 AM @siylii You are correct. I was unfair in what I wrote about 2sparrow's post...I was in a hurry and didn't read as closely as I should have. He said "some" and people are on here for all different reasons. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. @2sparrows Please accept my apology. I was unfair because you are right too...that is absolutely why some people are on dating sites. I had a person waiting on me to haul some ewe lambs. I was in a hurry and my mouth (or typing) got ahead of my reading and my brain. Again, I am sorry. @paschan My mouth did not get ahead of my brain in what I said to you. As far as standards for appearance, God made each and every one of us according to His purpose and plan. No one can say that what God created isn't beautiful and up to standards....that includes us about ourselves. Just something in general that I thought about as I was out with the sheep. When we put idealistic expectations on other human being, we are dooming ourselves to disappointment and placing burdens on people that they cannot hope to carry. People will "fail" to meet those expectations at some point in time. For followers of Christ, ideal = Him. Post Reply
paschen81 View Profile History	Realistic Expectations? Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 01:06 PM I have to apologize... I too sometimes forget that in a text only based format words meanings can many times be lost in translation... I was not meaning anything negative towards 2sparrows and I thought I stressed that I understood his statement was not a blanket statement. I valued and value his opinion and was seriously asking him, for someone in my situation, who lives in the country between two very small (think under 10,000 people) towns, how and where he would advise I could lower my expectations considering my circumstances. Also, GodsHandiwork and pixy... Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it however, I have caused misunderstanding on that point as well. I know I am a beautiful person... however, I am not naive and know that a person can be extremely beautiful while at the same time being physically unattractive to most people of the opposite sex. I'm comfortable with myself physically and accept that I'm not going to be one of those girls that draws all the guys. I'm ok with that. I actually wouldn't want to be attractive like that. I dislike being the center of attention like that. I was just making that point in my first post as a way of letting him know that I am not basing my perceptions on appearance... I don't go through profiles and go "oh gee... not enough hair... Oh look too short... oh look too big... oh look blond not brunette" I do however, read profiles in their entirety no matter the length... I actually prefer the guys to have more than 1 or 2 sentences. I am not looking for a play by play of a guy's life... but a peek into their world. That was my intended point in what I said. Once again, I apologize for any misunderstandings I caused by not appropriately typing my meanings clearly. Post Reply
hubbarddebra99 View Profile History	Realistic Expectations? Posted : 12 Nov, 2010 11:45 AM I have a very soft heart. I use to have, however, a very soft head as well!!!!! ie: I suported two husbands!!!!!! (STUPID ME) Now I must have "financially stable", which to me means ie: Gets Up Every Workday And Goes To Some Sort Of Job!!!!!!!!! Also pays own bills! As long as a man does this much, I don't care if he's a ditch digger, if he likes it! Post Reply
rainbowian View Profile History	Realistic Expectations? Posted : 13 Nov, 2010 10:32 AM Some are. Post Reply
View Profile History	Realistic Expectations? Posted : 14 Nov, 2010 08:48 AM We all have our own "wants" and "needs' and "desires". There is nothing wrong with stating them up front. If they are unrealistic then...well...they will most likely not be realized. Who loses? I think every man should want to be "financially stable" (meaning having a job and not being so much in Debt that they are "underwater"). That is just common sense. Any woman asking for that is just showing common sense also. As for stating an age group...their business. Who are we to judge them? It's their lost if we are not included in that group. Some of us can be childish...some can be selfish...some can be very vain. Guess what? That is why we are Christians...we need Christ and His Church to guide us and help us. We need each other. If you feel someone is being unrealistic then just pray for them and also pray for your own discernment...perhaps you are the one being "unrealistic". Keeping it Real! Steve (snICkeR...SNorT) Post Reply
View Profile History	Realistic Expectations? Posted : 14 Nov, 2010 04:48 PM I think we all probably have some unrealistic expectations even if we do not state them in our profile. I think the key is to listen to what God wants for us and NOT what we want. That is difficult for me. I am trying to learn this lesson. Post Reply

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