Author Thread: This is killing me...
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This is killing me...
Posted : 16 Oct, 2010 11:58 AM

So I am talking to a girl on here occasionally who says she wants to be with me and loves me but she lives on the opposite side of the world. She's like the sweetest girl and I find her really beautiful too. I really like this girl but she says she can't come to the US because of her job and I'm currently studying and broke so I don't know what to do. I guess it's really not God's timing for me to be with anyone right now... This really kills me deeply though because she seems like everything I want in a woman. I would really hate to never have a chance with her...

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This is killing me...
Posted : 17 Oct, 2010 03:34 PM

Yeah I'm doing community college right now and I'm at the brink of wanting to quit. For the past few years all I told myself I wanted to do is get my computer science degree but now that I'm college all the reading, anxiety I feel from being in a group setting, etc is getting to me. I dunno what I want to do with my life anymore. Also I just find it really hard asking people for help and talking to people in general. I dunno what it is exactly but I felt this my entire life. This distrust of people and not having social skills. I'm 24 and I shouldn't struggle with things like this I don't think but I am. My biggest fear is being who I am now for the rest of my life though. I want to become more and I want to be invovled with people, I just don't know how to get there. I don't know how to trust people or give of myself when I feel like I've been delt a bad hand and how no one has ever seemed to care about me personally. I feel so empty inside like I don't even know what i'm living for anymore. I used to think life was just about making money and trying to find happiness in whatever you can find it in but now I see happiness is something that comes from within and I'm broken inside... I keep trying to tell myself everything will be alright but then this emminient feeling of failure hits me, this extreme sadness that overtakes me. I start to get gittery and I have thoughts of suicide... I won't ever do it but I have thoughts of doing it.

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Posted : 17 Oct, 2010 05:00 PM

Siylii � While I sympathize with your situation, I don�t think that they are similar. You have been slowed down and frustrated by physical problem, that you now have cured and put behind you. You are behind, but you will eventually complete your goals. Stick with your boyfriend, become a Godly wife, and you will do well in life. While you are slowed down a bit, you still have hope.

Cool and I (we should find a few more guys like us and we could call ourselves Cool and the Gang :ROFL:) have a social learning disability that will never go away. We don�t understand society, and society does not understand us.

Cool, I think you will get the hang of it. Just need to remember that the reason why you are getting this education is so that you can be a good husband and support a family. Don�t focus on everything that you need to do, focus on one thing at a time. I know with your ADD this is very hard, but you need to focus.

As for me, I will never understand.

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cowgirl1984

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Posted : 17 Oct, 2010 06:13 PM

Cool,

If you feel empty, read the Bible. I hate when people tell me to do that, haha, but it's so true. I think John might be a good place for you to start.

In addition to the Bible (certainly not in place of), read Finding Peace by Dr. Charles Stanley. Finding Peace was a really great book that helped me a lot during some fairly desperate and lonely times. From the sound of things, I think Finding Peace might be a really great book for you to read as well.

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Posted : 17 Oct, 2010 08:25 PM

I really meant the whole bit about "putting the cart before the horse" based on other frustrations, but whatever.

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Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 12:17 PM

I get what you're saying but wouldn't the cart come after the horse because he'd be pulling it. LOL.

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Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 02:28 PM

Well I ordered the book cowgirl. I hope it helps me. Funny thing is as a kid I told myself and my parents once I learned to read that I would read the entire bible and learn it by heart. I actually have read the entire bible if I remember right, at least I know I've read all the old testament and all the new testament. I still hope to learn most of it by heart though. I have a terrible memory when it comes to remebering verses. About the only one I ever learned was Luke 9:10 For the Son of Man came to seek and save what was lost.

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Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 02:29 PM

Danggit, I meant Luke 19:10. LOL

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cowgirl1984

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Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 04:11 PM

LOL!

I hope the book helps you. It taught me a lot about how to find perfect peace in Jesus because you won't find it anywhere else. I will continue to pray for you because I know it's a constant struggle. I have bipolar and OCD. I have had OCD my whole life, but what really interfered with my life was with the onset of bipolar. I had very few friends, and most of the ones I did have, I lost. And it was during middle school and high school, which are not easy times to be dealing with those things. I struggled for 7 years before starting a medication that has helped me. Sometimes I still have insecurities and anxieties, particularly in certain environments. It is not an easy thing to overcome. I don't know how it compares to what you are struggling with, but I do understand the loneliness and feelings of utter hopelessness. It doesn't last forever. God doesn't allow His people to experience anything that we can't handle with His help.

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Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 05:16 PM

Actually I believe I am OCD and bipolar. I always have these mood swings and nothing is ever good enough. Like things I done in the past I start to think it was silly and everything is always like a mistake to me. I never feel as if anything I do is right. Also I don't have the best memory in the world either so forgetting things drives me nuts on top of everything else I feel.

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cowgirl1984

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Posted : 18 Oct, 2010 11:44 PM

There are other things that can cause those same symptoms. My philosophy is, start with the "bare minimum" until you're where you need to be. Pray and ask God to guide you in finding the help that you need. It may be that all you need is to grow a bit more in your relationship with him. One really good thing to consider would be to find a strong Christian man in your church to disciple you. Ask your pastor for recommendations. Make sure that you talk to whoever is going to be discipleing you and make sure you both understand the direction the discipleship will go before it starts. You definitely want someone who will listen so that they give answers or ask questions that actually help instead of answers or questions that have nothing to do with what you're saying. If you feel that you need additional help you can always talk to a professional counselor, but make sure they're a Christian. Too many non-Christians out there these days are pill-pushers, and medication should always be a "last resort." There is nothing at all wrong with taking medication. I take medication. But it just shouldn't be the first thing to try.

One thing is, I don't know if you consume caffeine, but if you do, stop drinking anything with caffeine in it, especially pop and coffee. Caffeine will exacerbate, and sometimes even cause, unpleasant emotional/mental symptoms.

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