Author	Thread: Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman?
Admin	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 17 Aug, 2010 06:35 AM Ihave noticed that alot of women keep mentioning that they want a confident man to be an interest if thiers. The question is what can a guy do once he has the confidence, just that he is still learning on how to show that to people in all of his manners. (like good body posture, or wakling with a certain swagger, etc). Post Reply
View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 18 Aug, 2010 07:06 PM Confidence has absolutely nothing to do with your 'swagger' or posture. Women were created by God and for US. We are meant to live in complete harmony with them. Being the best you can be is one thing, but being something your not is not the way to go. Girls are intelligent (usually) and can recognize surface confidence over true confidence overall. Watching James bond movies isn't going to make you win a lady. Its going to make you look like your trying to be james bond. That in fact is called idolatry. Comparing yourself to the world instead of your creator. The only man we need to compare ourselves to is Jesus. THAT is confidence. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 18 Aug, 2010 09:18 PM Ah, excellent point. If you want confidence, have a Jesus Bond:laugh:. :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 18 Aug, 2010 11:29 PM hah good one.:laugh: Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 19 Aug, 2010 07:37 AM Say what you will, but bad posture looks unconfident, as does generally looking nervous, fidgety, and hesitant. Training wheels are not an end to themselves, but they are helpful when you are trying to learn. Most of the advice I gave isn't anything you intend to use longterm. It's just ways to help get yourself started, especially when you consider that at least 3/4 of communication is nonverbal. As far as calling that idolatry, that's quite a rash assumption. We are not called to be passive men. If a guy wants to learn how to stop nonverbally communicating that he is passive, there's nothing wrong with that. Finding someone who does a good job of that to learn a little from is not idolatry. If I'm starting a job as a waiter, should I learn from the person training me, or are you going to tell me that's idolatry as well? Post Reply
View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 19 Aug, 2010 10:46 AM Verbal, non-verbal, whatever gets an interaction going. And in the end, it will either be good, or it will be bad. But you can't accomplish anything by being passive. It is good to be aware of the message you are sending, but sometimes I think we can over think it just as often as we under think it. It's confusing the more aware you are of it, which is why I advocate being natural, like shooting a basketball. As soon as you're done taking a shot, move on to the next. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 19 Aug, 2010 10:54 AM Who is born being a natural at shooting a basketball though? All skills have to be learned in some way. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 19 Aug, 2010 11:30 AM But do you learn better by doing what some else has done or do you train to your own strengths? I guess you could do both, and you're right that training is necessary...but I guess "how do you train" is the question. By pretending to be something you're not, or by becoming what you should be and training your strengths? Not everyone is James Bond. Maybe somebody is more like Cary Grant? Maybe they're not like anyone? Maybe they're the next cool that everyone else will try to imitate, lol. Anyway...people are usually passive because of fear and lack of a strong fully-formed character. So I guess the choice is, do we want to go into battle with only "on-the-job" training, or do we need to do some character building first and eliminate the heart of the problem? :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 19 Aug, 2010 11:58 AM True, True. Going with that metaphor there would be a point where you read and take in instruction. And there would be a time where you apply it. I think a lot of people focus on reading the instructions over and over in different ways, instead of going out and applying them is because it makes them feel safer, requires less effort and risk, and lets them cling to the false belief that they are in 100% control of getting what they want, whenever they want as soon as they understand the instructions perfectly. Instruction gets you to the point where you can apply it in practice. But in the end it is in practice/application you get the refinement and finesse it takes to give yourself the best chance and then it moves on to the actual game, which GASP! isn't in the instructions. In the end it's about getting the result you want (making the shot, troubleshooting a switch, making a sale, winning a hand in poker, getting a good tip) However there are more factors to it than just you, especially when it comes to girls. So, you can't control whether you get what you want or not. All you can do is give yourself the best possible chance. Basically there's a time for instruction, and a time for application and I think we spend way too much time on instructions. Sorry for being so long-winded. Post Reply
View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 19 Aug, 2010 01:31 PM Of course learning a vocation by observation of a subject is exemplary of correctly using a model to demonstrate the skills necessary to accurately complete a task assigned to you by your superior (i.e. a waiter). However winning the heart of a lady is in a completely different category in my opinion, so you cant lump that with the same pretense. James Bond obviously knows he's a cool dude. And thus carries himself appropriately. Clearly his suave is the product of knowing exactly who he is, and what his purpose is, and how to do it right. By watching his posture and attitude and imitating it, your trying to steal the end result of a state of mind which you yourself don't even possess. In a sense your cheating yourself, and your partner. If God wanted to create 6 billion James Bonds, he would have. We are all created specially and equally. As well if James Bond was the ruler that every man had to measure up against, not many women would be happy. And if you read the scripture, holding yourself up to anything in comparison to besides Jesus is idolatry, take it or leave it. If being a christian were easy, everyone would do it haha. But it's not, because were constantly exposed to different examples of 'excellence'. Yeah Bond may possess certain characteristics that are beneficial to wooing, but that doesn't mean you should copy him. If anyone can scripturally back a refutation and confirm the acceptability of comparing yourself to another instead of Jesus, I'll gladly apologize. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Hmm what stuff can a guy do to show confidence about himself in the eyes of a woman? Posted : 19 Aug, 2010 02:03 PM I think the dudes took over the ask a girl section...sorry ladies/topic poster guy... :peace::peace: Post Reply

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