Author	Thread: What's the deal?
TheLastLivingSoul View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 05:59 PM So...I haven't been on this site very long but in my general searches, I have noticed that a lot of young women (21-23) are looking for "a marriage partner." Really? Why? I mean...I'm not one to talk about age but don't you want to live your life a little more and experience stuff for yourself before you settle down? I mean, how many of you single ladies who are in between those ages and are looking for a marriage partner have been overseas? Or taken a cruise to get away from it all? I don't know...just seems a little weird to me. I mean if it's what the Lord has planned then great but it just strikes me as a little odd. Also, how many people have had success with using this or any other Christian Dating sites? I'm looking for friends or a potential relationship if it should work out but just wondering in general. Call me old fashion but meeting with a person face to face seems quicker and a lot more personable. I don't know...I'm not a doctor. Anyway, any feedback is cool Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 4 Jun, 2010 06:31 PM LLS: Ok, I understand where you are coming from now. What you seem to be saying is that you believe it is important a person know themselves very well, and have a strong relationship with God, before getting married. And I can agree with that. I think that may be the ideal for most people. However..... there are people (and I know some) who have done 100% fine getting married a very young age. Others..... well..... there is peer pressure and family pressure and their own things going on inside their heads that may be driving them. And, some people may only take a few years and be ready, while others may take 10 or more. But I do also believe life is better with the right partner by your side. Thanks for the topic. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 4 Jun, 2010 08:07 PM Depends on the person...I for one think that life is much more enjoyable with people to share it with. I dunno...just seems like a very generalized view. You think people should experience stuff. Great. When does experiencing stuff stop? Is there a magic moment for everyone that makes them tired of experiencing stuff by themselves? So you get married when you're bored and have nothing left to experience or what? I could see experiencing stuff with your husband/wife before having kids...I don't know...I guess I'm just missing the point... :peace::peace: Post Reply
TheLastLivingSoul View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 5 Jun, 2010 12:16 AM DHTMark: Yeah...I think you really missed the point by a LONG shot. The original question was why do women who are barely out of HS/College or in their early 20s wanting to settle down so soon? It just seems like rushing into something too soon and having it backfire. Yes, if it's God's will and plan to have someone who is 22 married with 3 kids by the end of the year then it will workout some way some how. It seems like it would have a better chance for success if both parties took their time and got to know each other instead of rushing into it. And I won't say there is a "magic moment" as you well put it but EVERYONE has had a time where they say, "Man...wouldn't it be great if someone could see how amazing all the things God has given us with me?" I know I'm guilty of it. But as a young man a year younger than you, I'm in no rush. I know 3 couples right now who aren't even 22 and have tied the knot. None of them have strong steady jobs to stand on, all invested a LOT of money in their weddings and well...it just seems like may be a rocky start. But, I could very well be wrong. They could all go on to have 6 six figure jobs, 10 kids and move to Palm Springs. Here's a funny thing...a lot of bros seem to be more interested in the topic instead of young women who are looking for a Marriage Partner on their profile. For a section that's "Ask a girl" seems funny not to be getting a lot if any feedback from that group. Maybe that's just me but I find it kind of funny. Going on, there are things you should try by yourself and then try with your spouse. My claim is NOT just experience, experience, experience. I'm saying, (as Godslamb has caught on to) how do you know you're walk with God is so tight you can decide well now I want to bring person X into my life just because they are Christian? Be at the same place in your walk really does make a difference. Seems like a few others have caught on to what I was driving at but I'd still like to hear from the target audience on this one. Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 5 Jun, 2010 05:09 AM Just because they say thay are looking for a marriage partner doesnt mean they will be getting married right away. If a 23 yr old or even a 21 year old is looking for a marriage partner, whos to say they wont date for maybe a year or two or agree with their partner that they shouldnt get married untill they have an established job or life between both of them? Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 5 Jun, 2010 10:34 AM Well...I just read your first post...when you said "go overseas" and "go on a cruise"...that just seemed like lame stuff to delay getting married for. I can see planning ahead as a couple before you get married...but if I was going to do cool stuff, I'd sure want to go someplace awesome with the coolest person in the world. I agree that people should be ready for marriage...but that wasn't what the original post implied. I'm sorry I didn't read the whole thing, I missed your explanation. Maybe that's why Godslamb didn't get what you meant at first either. It just sounded like "Have fun! Live a little before you get tied down", not "Become a stronger and more stable christian". :peace::peace: Post Reply
TheLastLivingSoul View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 6 Jun, 2010 01:46 AM Laidback- I thought about that man and I'm not dismissing the thought that they may want to WORK towards that. But here's the thing...the site asks you WHAT you are looking for right off the bat. So, if they were just looking for a friend, date, friendship etc, wouldn't it just be easier to have that in there instead? I'm sure I wouldn't be the only guy that would put off if I saw a girl 2 years younger if not the same age as I wanted to get hitched. What if they are serious? I mean that's a BIG statement to put out there for everyone to see don't ya think? DHTMark- Those were just examples man sorry if they were "lame" in your eyes but I dunno what you think would top that. I find it funny that you think that's the ONLY reason people should "delay" (as you put it ,) in getting married. There are some things I bet but those are pretty good examples where I come from. I guess I have to be pretty blunt from now on I guess since the point seems to keep getting missed. Anyway all right I'll go ahead with saying "young people should make sure their walk with God is at a strong point that can handle having someone else with the same walk. That they should take their time and build up a friendship before diving head first into things." Does that hit the nail on the head or am I going to have to break it down some more? Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 6 Jun, 2010 07:35 AM lol...I suppose...I'm a little more confused now:ribbit:, but I'll just stick with your "break down". We're agreed that people shouldn't rush into marriage with someone they don't really know. Thank you for explaining yourself once again:dunce::winksmile:. :peace::peace: Post Reply
existlookingup View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 6 Jun, 2010 05:57 PM This might be stating the obvious, but men and women are different. Women seek out relationships to grow, be sharpened, and learn about who we are whether with God, men, or other women. We find value in relationships, Men find value in work. What if someone asked you, why would you want to work towards getting a career...if you wait longer, go on trips, live on your own you might get a better job, gain life experience, and make more money. Instead, men are build to provide, protect, and most men aren't ready to settle down until they know they can provide for a wife. Since I was 16 I've traveled somewhere new every year. In fact I backpacked Europe alone for a summer. Would I do it again, sure. But the whole time I thought "Wow I wish I could share this with someone." I didn't go to the top of the Eiffle tower because I wanted to 'save' it and enjoy it with my future husband. It just didn't feel right going to the top alone. How many years should a girl be doing it on her own experiencing life? If you leave home at 18 that's 3-5 years on your own. I've had ten years now on my own. Do I love my apartment, cooking one person meals, and independence. Sure...sometimes. But we weren't made to go through life independently. We were made for community. I've found I'm more set in my ways than when I was 23 which is harder on a marriage. I've grown on my own, my married friends have grown as well. Also, waiting for marriage to be intimate is God's plan. I just turned 28, and some days I feel like I hear Paul saying loudly "It is better to marry than to burn..." If God said it was okay to sleep around before marriage, sure ...get married at 45. You've probably learned a lot! God created marriage for us to enjoy another person, to sacrifice for someone else. It's not about who holds out the longest. My brother got married when he was 19; they are head over heels in love, and are now blessed with two children. I wish I could have gotten married and enjoyed 4-5 years with a husband, building a life together before having children. Children take a lot of energy. Pregnancy and labor take so much out of your body. The older you are the harder the recovery. For your point of view (male) it doesn't really matter what age you get married. In fact, it makes sense to wait longer. For women it doesn't. Just as a disclaimer, of course God can meet all our needs, of course you can get along fine single, and of course, some women want to build a career first, but in my opinion, we wait too long. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 6 Jun, 2010 07:03 PM :rocknroll:, but please don't generalize us men!:laugh: Building relationships and character are the only reasons to live in my opinion! :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 8 Jun, 2010 09:27 AM It can be kind of puzzling. It seems maturity, having done some things, and learned some things, before merging your life with another does make more sense to me. It seems the more mature you are the greater marriage partner you will be. But that�s just the way it seems. To each his own. Just follow God�s plan for your life no matter if marriage is early or later. I have some single�s articles on my website in the event it would be a blessing to anyone. www.solidfrontworshipcenter.org point to the �Single But Not Alone� page. Blessings, Post Reply

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