Author	Thread: Mysterious?
Admin	Mysterious? Posted : 31 May, 2010 09:55 PM I've noticed many Christian young ladies I've come into contact with have this big obsession with being "mysterious"? Now, I can't speak for every guy on this site, but I find this to be quite irksome. When a girl acts "mysterious", it leads me to one of two conclusions. One: "I'm not that interested in you." or Two: "I have trust issues." (IE - GIANT RED FLAG) Please, if any of you are of this "mysterious" mindset; can you back it up with scripture or at least good theology? Because the whole thing has me stumped and frustrated. :-| - Rodey Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 2 Jun, 2010 11:52 AM I prefer to move slow which gives the relationship time to develop.It is not Mysterous it just gets rid of the bad apples. Good things come to those who wait. Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 2 Jun, 2010 10:25 PM Or, all of the girls on here think I'm disgusting looking and refuse to contact me. Either or, really. - Rodey Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 12:09 AM Rod, I think we need to clarify just what you mean by "Mysterious". If you mean that she is not forth-coming or is vague and obtuse...then that is just plain IRKSOME! But if you mean that she is Intriguing and Deep and somewhat Mystifying. That she makes you curious and wanting to know more about her...then that is a good thing. Having only words to convey our thoughts and feelings and still photos to show ourselves...it is difficult to appear "Mysterious". So, again I have to ask if you mean that she is being vague with her answers or if she truly comes across as "Mysterious"? Me personally, I enjoy a good mystery. Steve Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 06:18 AM I mean bordering on illusive. - Rodey Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 08:37 AM Hi Yall...Rodey, I believe you have already answered yer own question in yer intro post...:excited:... Ima in agreement with what SR, River, Arch/Steve shared... Truely ifin a women is Mysteriously ELUSIVE...there is no mystery there...Ifin a women is somewhat a Mystery...well...thats what friendship/relationship begins as...Gents can be much the same way...Right ?... Anywho...It shouldnt be Work...Its should jus Flow... Best of Gods Riches an Blessins to ya on yer journey...xo Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 10:15 AM *Elusive, yeah. Sorry. I'm a legal studies student. I must have been thinking "illusory contract". Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 10:31 AM You're not even remotely disgusting looking, Rodey. Maybe you just need to give it more time, as aggravating as I'm sure that sounds. I've been on dating sites on-and-off for about 7 years now... And I don't know of anyone who has met their Prince Charming or Cinderella immediately on a site such as this. Patience =) I've met a lot of frogs or just men who wouldn't give me the time of day... and have gotten really, really frustrated myself at times too. But don't lose heart. Keep God as #1 in your life and seek Him above all else and the rest will fall into place. Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 10:51 AM LOL...wasnt pointin out a spellin error...Heck I dont spell right all the time...was jus pointin out elusive is jus not bein there...hence posible She be to busy, aint got time or lookin else where...no mystery there. Ifin there is not effort then there must be no interest... Pixy hit the mark on Puttin GOD first...all else will fall into place as it should be...Take care an God Bless...xo Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 11:07 AM You know, I think part of the mysterious thing for me, now that I'm thinking about it more, was partly just not wanting to get "caught." And I know that's what it is for some other people who do the mysterious thing too. I've wanted to be a wife for quite awhile now, BUT, for most of that time, I haven't actually had any intention of giving myself over fully to a man and being 100% vulnerable. Part of that was just fear, I guess... afraid of losing control... afraid of losing my sense of freedom and feeling trapped... afraid of someone knowing my secrets and then pulling me away from things in my life that I wasn't ready to be pulled away from yet. Guys (and some of my friends) have called me a wild horse, or a butterfly, or a tease. And, at times, I haven't really minded those labels that much, because I thought I was protecting myself. But, over the past year, I've come to realize that marriage isn't about protecting myself. It's not about ME at all. And once upon a time, that would have really turned me off... the idea that I might have to die to a piece of myself and think of someone else's needs and desires. It doesn't turn me off anymore, but the habit of being mysterious is still there at times. Maybe something similar is going on with the girls you're contacting or that you know. And they might not even know that they're doing it. It certainly didn't start out as something purposeful for me. Maybe you should try explaining your observations to them and say really reassuring things to them that help them to feel safe and to know that it's okay to open up more and not be so mysterious with you. But, like I said before, I think a little mystery is good. There is a difference, though, between a slow unveiling and a refusal to ever unveil at all. Post Reply
View Profile History	Mysterious? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 11:27 AM It's probably also worth mentioning that there only needs to be one guy that a woman feels completely safe with and completely okay with unveiling all of the mystery with. To a certain extent, a woman should guard her heart in friendships and in dating relationships. Just as we should guard ourselves sexually for marriage, it's also appropriate to guard ourselves emotionally. So, there should be SOME mystery there... before the engagement anyway. Post Reply

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