Author	Thread: The friendship trap :-O
Rabbit32 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 10:23 AM Dear Ladies An aspect of courtship and dating that has always alluded me is going beyond friendship with a woman, I am interested in. I believe friendship is an essential foundation for a marriage, so many skip this part of a relationship. Furthermore some women wont be friends with you because they are afraid you might like them. How would they ever know that they dont like me if they never know who I am. I love God whom I never saw, only by knowing Him. Ok maybe the last part was more of a rant (sorry) :bunny: So ladies if a man who you are friends with wants to go beyond friendship, how does he approach you without damging that friendship. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 8 Apr, 2010 07:20 PM I think you answered your own question. Going for it..... by the leading and direction of the Holy Spirit. And I also agree that, if you are turned down or it doesn't work -- the friendship will not be the same. Could possibly continue.... but it won't be the same. Good luck!! Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 02:58 AM I was already confused on a previous thread about friendship leading to a relationship. And I am not getting any better here:laugh::laugh::laugh: There is something like chemistry and vibs, right? Can you not see if the lady has that for you? I mean if there is just the friendship there must be changing something... I would say it is very hard to hide this, especially between good friends. It all sounds so mechanical to me. Hunting engineered by the holy spirit....taking risks... I would say if two friends like eachother beyond the usual friendship, they give clear signals for that. And that goes for the other way around as well. However, I think that men must learn to observe those signals. Their hunting spirit might tell them to throw in a kiss or two, but I believe every lady makes it perfectly clear in non verbal communication if she wants any intimacy or just wants to be friends. Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 05:56 AM It might be clear for the ladies, bt what comes across is sometimes different, but maybe that's just me being a bad "hunter"... That said, I have experienced many times wen I tought there was more and there wasn't and I took the risk and was miserabe afterwards but after a while in most cases there was still good friendship. Hearing about how things went with other, I guess I am specially blessed... God bless you all Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 07:49 AM I believe a woman sends off single, what makes men the hunters, is that most men take the initive. I also think chemistry comes and goes, to love someone is to go beyond attraction. Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 11:42 AM oh to be sure. which is why sex before marriage is such a bad idea. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 04:39 PM :ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: Yeah right. Sir Rabbit32 is still figuring out when and how to shoot without losing the lady�s friendship.... and you mention sex and marriage...... :ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: Gentlemen, please, :ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL: You are all too much. Too funny. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 04:51 PM While I believe the idea of being friends before starting a relationship is a respectable idea, I just don't think it works out practically. When I meet a girl, there either is physical attraction or there isn't. There either is chemistry or there isn't. Attraction isn't a choice. If I don't make her heart go pitter patter, a girl cannot choose to make that happen just because I'm asking and she knows in her head that I would make a good boyfriend and potential husband. I can't be friends with a girl for two years with no chemistry and suddenly expect it to appear simply because I decided we were good enough friends to pursue a relationship with. That would be just unfair to her. Obviously you need to get to know someone before you start dating. When I meet a Christian girl who catches my attention, I just get her number and ask her to coffee. Forget this, "Maybe if you would like to, would you like to possibly go do something sometime somewhere," stuff. Real men have a plan. We talk for a while, and if we click, I call her again. If we don't, I don't. If I really start to like her, then we take it from there. The whole time, I'm basically praying, "Shut this thing down if it isn't what you want for me God." That way there are no mismatched feelings, but we still get to know each other well quickly. I don't spend a year or two developing feelings for a girl who has no feelings for me, and vice versa. Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 07:18 PM If we've been friends for a very long time, well then, I'm presuming he knows me pretty well, and he's prepared himself to accept my rejection of the idea of taking our friendship to the next level. Now, it has happened to me once where I was friends with a man who did make my heart flutter, and we got along quite well as friends, lots in common, and spiritual things we did share and discuss openly. A very comfortable friendship and one of honesty and respect. While I was attracted to him, I didn't dare want to jeopardize the relationship we had by asking him to take it beyond friendship. I wanted him to be the one to approach me if he was feeling me that way. But he didn't. He has since met someone else that he is attracted to, which of course has changed our relationship. And, that was initially hard being that we were close friends, but his new relationship has definitely changed how we now interact with one another. I don't know... I really feel that a man should be the initiator, that he knows what he wants, and in a way, I always felt, and still feel that if I have to initiate a relationship and beg a man to be with me, I don't want him to just try me because I put myself out there, but because he wants me. I'd never want to put my friendship on the spot that way especially if he didn't feel the same way I was feeling. If he didn't that would probably make him feel awkward, and I never wanted that. Sorry I deviated a bit Rabbit but, in answer to your question, for a man, I quess the best way for him is to just be honest, and tell the girl what he's feeling about her, and if they've been truely friends, they should be able to share openly, without hurt feelings if she is not receptive to advancing the relationship further than friendship. ~ GraceMae Post Reply
trubeliever70 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 08:01 PM Tulip89......I agree completely u cant force something that is not there.:hearts::dancingp: Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 9 Apr, 2010 08:16 PM okay... well i guess i just don't understand like you do sos. disregard. glad you got a laugh out of that. if you're not getting what you want out of a relationship (friendship-wise, romantic-wise, good acquaintance-wise, etc.), then what's to lose? Post Reply

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