I have been a Christian all my life... Got real serious though one night on the battle field, yea really... You tend to pray in the true sense of the word when you don't know if your going to live through next hour... Well, I made a deal ( i'm still alive) and I'm keeping my end of my promise... but I'm finding it really hard to appreciate a lot of women who seem to be not religious but more fanatical, God is a very loving and forgiving and understanding being and I've noticed some women on here are as fanatical as some of the nut jobs we've been at war with for 2 decades now... they just call it being Christian... I'm venting because I read one profile that just put me over the top she said simply if you are a divorced man for what ever reason she is not interested because a re-married divorced man is committing adultery... huh? I don't get that, would someone please enlighten me on that one? Yea, I'm divorced, I was handed a piece of paper one day at work and shortly there after lost everything I've worked for my whole life including half of my military pension... It wasn't my choice, We never argued, I'm not a violent man, I don't even raise my voice, but during the marriage I was frequently deployed for a year at a time... She found someone else, whatever. So I'm being told by this person that I am forever committing a sin that was not of my control... how can I ask forgiveness for something I haven't done? basically, I took it as I'm going to hell and there's nothing I can do about it... as we all know that is so wrong... I've been divorced for 5 years, made it through the dark times without booze or drugs. Am I saved? God saves me everyday, I should be dead and/or crazy many times over by now, but by his grace I'm still standing... Praise God and thank you Lord for that... I'm ready to start anew... I don't do the bar scene and if some of the girls on this site is a sample of what is in store for me... I'm going back to being happily single... oh yea, and for all you girls out there that refuse a man because he smokes... That's fine, personal preference is a great thing, but don't say because the body is a temple and if you can't respect that why would she.... of course, Cheese burgers are just as bad as cigarettes, so look in the mirror, does your "temple" consume to many cheese burgers? Get real ladies... Some of you actually say you want "anything" as far as what do you want from this site.. and then you want to meet man that are not as old as you are... I mean you want younger men not even the same age as you, so it's really obvious what you are after... I will be leaving this site soon... Christian sites are like churches, you just have to keep looking for one that is right for you... I think the next one I'll actually pay for and see if the quality there is different... That was mean, sorry... God bless you ladies and I hope you find what you need...
finding a great woman anywhere isn't easy, regardless of what venue you use. that's what makes them so great, and they're either there or they're not. all you can do is work on being happy and whole with yourself so that you can hold out till when the time does come that you encounter her, you don't mess it up.
First, I want to assure you that those same issues are on this side of the fence too.... so I can certainly relate to your frustration.
But.... there are some of us that are working on getting our act together and trusting the Lord to help us in that area. Sometimes there is a fine balance in real world and Loving the Lord. Sometimes situations and circumstances cause us to become a little defensive and that balance becomes upset. Thats where the Holy Spirit comes in - and binds our mouths (in my case He clasps His hand firmly over my lips until I promise to be quiet!!) and works on our hearts. However, some of are still imperfect ladies after God's own heart.
I am not trying to defend every lady on this site - but just hoping you will take heart and know that there are some of us that are a work in progress and willing to see you for who you are as well.
I do understand how you feel frustrated..... but keep putting your hand out there. Some lucky lady might just grasp it and make you so glad you did!!
There are all kinds here. This site is better than most.
And if you see a woman who is "sanctimonious," just steer clear. But then again, sometimes they come across that way intentionally, to chase away the "players."
But if you find one who wants "No Divorce" only, then just respect that and go on to find someone who sees things differently.
Somehow we need to be sanctified without being sanctimonious. If someone has strong convictions about a particular issue, then respect them. But if the convictions are different than yours, don't judge, just respect them and MOVE ON.
Praise God for His powerful grace in your life, to sustain you through your service to your country and to sustain you through the horrible trauma of a blind-side divorce. It is gut wrenching, and almost makes a man want to give up. But you just pray and keep keeping on buddy! You will do ok. Find places to serve and volunteer. Be sure that you are part of a church that helps you and meets your needs, while at the same time that church also NEEDS YOU and has places where you can be of help to others.
It's really a tricky subject and not as black and white as some assume imo, also If anyone has a preferance not to marry someone who has already been married I dont see why they should have to apologise for it, we all have preferance's, If someone doesnt want a smoker I can understand that, it makes you stink (speaking from experience), though I agree about the "temple" talk being a terrible arguement.
Well aren't you the special one. Hey, the men are all looking for a Proverbs 31 woman. Sorry guys but I don't do wool and flax....lol. And 70 yr. old geezers looking for 30 yr. old women. Come on guys!!!!!
I do agree with you however about the sanctimonious females, I have to question how a human can possibly be all that good. I struggle daily with sin and humanity, but life goes on until He calls us home.
It is a tough world out there, brother.. All of us that have been divorced for one reason or another are on the same path as you are..
What is Great about our Savior ,is He meets us just where we are. I just Love that about Him. God gives us a way out of marriage, & that is adultry. My pastor says that is the only biblical reason for divorce. I believe that Jesus wants us also to be safe. I was in an abusive marriage and had to flee to get us to safety. I have to say that our God , who does know our hearts, wants to grant the desires of our hearts.. Sometimes we just have to go through a waiting , or growing period(which is sooo tough, sometimes..lol) I know I had to reflect on my part and take responsibility for some of the things I did wrong, but I also have learned and still learning to stand on my own 2 feet with the Lord being my director. The Head of my household.. It has been hard, but He is the Great Physician, the God of Peace, the cheers over us.. I love that about Him.. don't you?
Some are not all though. I am no better than anyone just forgiven. I feel bad about your experience not all of us are judgemental. She will probably have slim pickens for a husband because I don't know many men who are not divorced. She needs to reread the bible regarding biblical divorce. It was not your fault that she bailed. After all you were sacrificing your life for our country and that is how you are repaid. I have tremendous respect for you! Thank you for fighting for us I really appreciate you.
As far as smoking is concerned the body is the temple of God and that applies to anything you place in the body including too much food. How dare anyone say anything about anyone who is created in the image of God. Sin is sin whether it's too much food or too much alcohol. I have yet to find any scripture in the bible declaring cigarette smoking to be a sin.
I've had more success on the secular dating sites as not everyone on these sites are genuine. May I suggest to you plentyoffish.com? I've met some amazing Christian men on that site who are fully devoted, non judgemental men of integrity. I hope you can find someone who appreciates you. Keep standing on the promises of God brother! Again thanks for serving!
First, I want to thank you for fighting for my freedom and the price you have paid. Welcome Home!
You sound so much like me a few year ago; only it was sanctimonious men. I did met one man, however, who said I was just about perfect except I smoke. I just took that to mean that if I quite smoking I WOULD be perfect and we all know what perfect people are like�� lol. My aim is to quite though, I just don�t know when or how yet.
Even though I do not like the fact that I smoke, I can�t hate the experiences and lessons it has brought along with God�s use of it to set me straight in a few areas. I was one of the greatest self righteous church going hypocrites you would ever meet, who believed I was saved, on my way to Heaven and nothing bad would ever happen to me. I believed that anyone with an addiction was too weak, and I of course was the epitome of strength. I had no addictions at that time nor would I ever fall for any. ( or so I thought before some atrocious situations effected me )
Before this gets too long (like most of what I write, sorry) I have to address that woman who said she would not marry a divorced man because she believes to marry one would be committing adultery, she was more than likely only taking one verse and claiming that is what divorce and remarriage is all about. Very few of those who believe marrying a divorced person is committing adultery ever read, 1 Corinthians 7:12-17 to get full understanding.
Verse 15 says that if the unbelieving one leaves, let them and the believer is not under bondage. She left and you are not bound; she also had an affair and you didn�t. It also says that God has called us to peace, which I believe means to keep His command and forgive the wayward spouse (ex) and pray for their salvation along with their well being.
I�d like to point out that forgiving a person DOES NOT mean what they did doesn�t matter OR that you can forgive their sin (cause you can�t only God can when they come to HIM); which is why it is imperative that we forgive, pray for them and beg God to open their hearts to Him.
In forgiving them we are in obedience to God and not given over to the tormentors like the unforgiving servant in Luke 16. Though he was forgiven his debt by the King (as we all are when we come to Him) he was also given over to the tormentors when he would not forgive his fellow man. Tormentors such as bitterness, hatred, depression, etc are in store for us who refuse to forgive. I can tell you from experience that this is not a pretty place to be.
Now that we have this lady�s sanctimonious attitude straightened out that she blames God for her own misunderstanding of the Bible, let me ask you a few questions if I may. I�ve never been one to humor a person in their battles and say �there there it�ll be ok� and don�t aim to start now.
In seeing the error of the woman who would not marry a divorced man, I ask about your preferences and possibly the lesson taught through it all. Are you looking for a woman of a size 2 or 22? A woman with buck teeth or straight? Or more like you are looking for a woman whose face is directed at Christ no matter her size or looks? Some questions to ponder, maybe? In looking for that perfect woman that so many men aim for, the Leah�s of Christ�s line are left behind.
You won�t find that perfect person on this site or any other for that matter. There are no man or women on this site who are perfect (those who claim to be perfect I would run as fast as I could from them before tainting their pristine image they have of themselves ���.lol)
How do we know that when the scriptures state "The husband of one wife" it means divorce and not poligamy? There is great debate about this scripture in the church today. Every denomination takes a different view of it.
If a man or women is in ministry, and their spouse commits adulatry, and that partner leaves and marries that person, is it right or fair for the innocent party to have to give up their ministry and way of making a living? Are not the "Gifts of God without repentance?" Why is the innocent party judged so harshly by the church and believers and basically told "Your out, find another way to make a living, you no longer qualify for ministry."
I would have serious doubts that God would do something like that to someone. The church however, is a different story.
