Author	Thread: Cut to the Chase
Admin	Cut to the Chase Posted : 20 Oct, 2013 07:30 PM What do you think when guys cut to the chase and suggest they'd like meeting in person in the initial email? It's what I've been doing lately so I was just wondering what your take on it is if/when guys do this, since my feeling is it could either be a really good idea or a really bad idea. I still make it a point to be funny and interesting and show I read their profile and not be pushy and everything, but I'm done with just sending open ended emails that go nowhere, even when they do get responded to. Thanks! Post Reply
View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 22 Oct, 2013 11:15 AM I've only tried my strategy for a few days now and all ready it's actually by far the most successful strategy I've used so far and trust me, you name it, I've tried it (including the super nice, super considerate, super safe approach), well, except for writing nasty sex stuff. It's not like all I'm saying is "Hey. Wanna go out sometime? NOW." These are genuinely funny and/or interesting messages with one line about how I'm interested in meeting them and to see I they're interested in meeting me at some point. One responder has even said she prefers meeting early since that's the best way to tell what guys are really like, rather than going by emails and profiles and always wondering who's really writing them. The saying "You can polish a terd all you want, but in the end, it's still a terd" comes to mind when it comes to profiles and emails. No amount of messages or period of time ensures anyone is more or less trustworthy and at some point you just gotta get off the pot and go out, and when you do, make sure you take ALL of the safety and precautionary measures I talked about in my last post and if the person isn't willing to accommodate any of those things then don't go and never talk to them again. Seriously. I've done the thing where you send emails for a long time then move onto the phone call and then move onto the date weeks or months after the initial email, and guess how that worked out. Also, that thing where you ask the pastor to ask the girl out? Assuming that's even realistic, do you really think it's a foolproof safe way to go, assuming you are even able to prove the guy is a real pastor? That whole situation is just way more creepy to me than what I'm doing now. And speaking of creepy, if you're going to call me that at least make sure you don't look like a creep in your profile picture. Just sayin'. Also, quit trying to make me into some kind of Paul Bundy, na�ve, creepy, inconsiderate strawman who doesn't understand that the world is a cold place (lol I mean really? I thought the sky was whatever color I wanted it to be, birds landed on my shoulder and sing, and nobody poops)or care about or understand women just because I *gasp* joined a dating site to go on dates. I know, I'm just all kinds of wild and reckless because of that aren't I? That being said, I do also now make it more of a point to emphasize more explicitly let them know their comfort and safety is priority #1 to me by letting them know that if they don't feel that or are concerned about something at any point in the planning stage that they shouldn't hesitate to speak up and let me know so we can accommodate for that. And yeah, I'm a bad person who takes women's safety lightly because I don't spend every waking moment being the whipping boy who is pis sed, mad, and sad about how all the bad boys women stepped on me to get to ended up being just that. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 22 Oct, 2013 12:25 PM I met my current girlfriend in person pretty quickly, she also cited that she would rather meet sooner than later, and she was actually the one to suggest it first. I would say that your approach is good, to let them know you're interested in meeting, but I would draw it out a little. While I understand that you are a nice guy, there are really-not-nice guys out there, and they will take advantage of women who are too trusting, so as an official nice guy, you should consider(and maybe you are) setting a really good example for women in how a nice guy will approach a meeting, so that even if it doesn't work out, you will have helped them identify a good pattern of behavior. Even if they want to meet immediately, even if they want to give you their phone number right away, just tell them that you're not quite comfortable with that yet and warn them that they shouldn't be either. :peace::peace: Post Reply
teach_ib View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 22 Oct, 2013 05:44 PM So you asked us for our advice, what we thought...and you're slamming us because we said it wasn't such a great idea. I agree waiting too long to meet is not a good idea depending on the circumstances. However, I would question anyone's motives for meeting after the first message. Maybe I'm cynical these days or just got too many, call me now messages that within an hour or 2 they were banned for most likely being a scammer or a spammer... No one accused you of being a dangerous person, they were addressing WHY women might not be responsive when asked about meeting in the first message, no matter how 'cute' the message may be. I'm glad it's working for you but don't take offense at those that are letting you know their thoughts. This is an ongoing discussion topic, including safety procedures, on many forums here. Anyone who is worth marrying is worth waiting for! Post Reply
View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 23 Oct, 2013 10:45 PM Hi, guys. So it got a little raw there for a second and I just want to say that even though I was saying what I felt at the time that that's not how I as a Christian should talk to others and I apologize if I hurt or offended anybody. Thanks for being professional and not perpetuating things despite my inflammatory remarks. Again, what I did was wrong and I'm sorry. -Brandon Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 24 Oct, 2013 04:30 AM Friendship please don't be offended by the below massage i've cut and paste so I share with you. Won't make a habit of doing this... My inbox massages are meant for me, he won't like me doing this, thank God he's from onother dating site not here hopefully he's not a member here too. He got me big time.... Best pick up line ever. Had to respond to him. That is he's massage: Gracious God thank you for providing for the roaming eyes of the Reverend with this supernatural beauty. If she is single Father bind us together with love,amen. One more thing touch her heart & give her no peace of mind until she reply me back, amen again. Do you find it helpful somehow since you working on breaking the ice? NB... Don't be offended please as if I'm undermining your charming skills. Just thought of you as was at that massage. Post Reply
View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 24 Oct, 2013 10:42 AM None taken. That's pretty good. Post Reply
1jon310 View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 09:50 AM Sissy Anyone who tries to use a prayer and God to manipulate you or someone else into doing anything, is scary. Sooner or later they will try to control you in different ways. In the Old testament that act was called witchcraft. Some see it for what it is abuse. r Post Reply
sisygirl View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 26 Oct, 2013 01:18 PM 1jon310 One thing confirmed here is that I really have a brother in you who got my best interest at heart. I appreciate dear you have no idea. And yes i'm very clue'd up and uptight of fellows to manipulate with God's word. We've had this conversation before with Renov, were I just came out and told the truth of how less attracted I often am of fellows who always qoate verses when defining themselves. I believe that if one truly is a christian, he/she won't be qoating us verses. We shall see by the fruits fore they talk better than what you can ever say verbally. I think with him, it was more of he's facial expression that complemented he's massage. He looked like the one making a wish. That and he's massage really made me laugh. Don't you worry my brother, i'm not fishing for a mate. That i've made clear in all dating sites i'm registered with, just wanna enjoy constructive conversations if possible. I do appreciate being warned.... Never cease doing that Thank you dear!! Post Reply
Lukia^ View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 29 Oct, 2013 05:05 AM Making such a suggestion so early makes a lady loose trust.Its good to take time and know each other. Some ladies am sure will run away if you suggest meeting them in your first email. Post Reply
View Profile History	Cut to the Chase Posted : 30 Oct, 2013 04:11 PM I have to admit I'm with the OP on this one - I don't want to be 'interviewed' by email over several weeks and a first meeting isn't a date anyway in my mind - it's in the same class as meeting a seller from the classified ads to see whether they're what they say they are (match the photos, etc) and whether it's worth continuing any dialogue or arranging further meets. As I don't put any romantic hopes or overtones on it I don't care if she brings a friend or her dad with her for it, and of course she can always choose the location and time. I also don't buy that women are automatically at greater risk in agreeing to meet up - nearly half of domestic violence is perpetrated by the female and even just an accusation can be enough to wreck a guy's life - something women will never need worry about. It's a risk for us too, y'know... Post Reply

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