I've not had any real date but several contacts most of my contacts are already dating someone and or just getting to know different women. However, they have seeking marriage on their Profile. I had a guy that was very nice but divorced only 1yr after being married for 26 years. His wife left him for another man. Then he had to pay her Alomony he said. Now he will have to date for about 2 years cause he couldn't afford to support a New wife. lol
So, I had to move On. lol
He lived in another State and would have to Travel to make a Long distance relationship work out. He had very good position as a Teacher.
Often times many divorced people on these Sites has issues with Past marriages, Alomony, debts, child support on and on. Why cannt men and woman just stay married it would be Less Costly. :laugh:
"And if he is a war veteran and/or someone who is all those things but NOT an adulterer, is the divorce justified in your opinion?"
What does being a war veteran have to do with it? Being a veteran justifies nothing. As for the last part of your question? No, I dont think it does. My own mother married a violent/abusive man and stayed faithful and celebate for 16 years, until she found out that he married another woman without benefit of divorce. Then, and only then, did she file for divorce.
A hard heart is the reason God permitted divorce. According to the text the one doing the divorcing is the hardened hearted spouse. Hard heartedness is unforgiveness to the greatest degree.
Also abandonment is not approved for a divorce. Paul simply writes if a unbeliever seeks to leave let them. His statement of not being under bondage is in the context of holding them to the marriage.
It should read more like this. Your not in bondage to hold a unbeliever to their marriage vows.
The church leadership should be a shamed for perverting these passages and they will answer before God for this.
Never it is written that its alright to remarry. Their is only one passage that shows approval of marriage.
A virgin, a widdow and a husband loosed from a wife.
Please show me specifically where anyother specifically tells anyone else they can marry. Without reading into the text.
All others are assumed. And you no what they say about the word assume.
I will tell you why this perverted perspective on divorce makes me angry and you should feel angry also if you have had a divorce.
Because this has effected my life. Rather than pastors getting to the root of the problem they find easy outs these days. Divorce has become a easy out when things become difficult. Where is Faith in all of this? Where is forgiveness in all of this? Where is looking at our own sins in all of this? Where is understanding in all of this?
You have been given a bill of goods that has no reconcilliation to. Even if you marry again their is always going to be that unresolved place in your heart toward another brother or sister in Christ. The family of God is so fragmented and the church leadership is doing little or nothing about it.
Through all I have gone through I have learned their was another way but no one showed it to us. No one ever told my ex their was hope. No one ever expressed that things can be different for us and It will get better. No one reassured her.
I am not angry with my ex spouse and you shouldnt be either. The one you should be angry with is your pastor. He is suposed to have the right answers to life.
So if the biblical position of the church is of God then where is the life in it? I see nothing but death.......I see more and more death and destruction.
This is a very sensitive topic and I think that it is great that everyone is posting their experiences and beliefs.
I think that we have to be careful as Christians when making judgemental remarks (or ones that can seem judgemental). I myself have been divorced twice. Yes, twice. However, I was only just saved this May. Therefore, when I was saved sins from my past life are all covered in the blood of Christ.
I do agree that there are times when people would rather quit than work for a relationship. However, I can not see that God would want someone to be abused daily just to keep from getting a divorce. He protects us and keeps us safe.
Basically, I just wanted to say please be careful how you are condeming peoples actions when you do not know their story. It is for God to pass judment and grant forgiveness, not us.
If you are referring to my post i would like to say something.
Abuse is curable without divorce. When a person understands the root of abuse their is hope. The problem is church leadership lacks the ability to bring practicle application to such things.
I am so sorry if you had experienced abuse and I understand your need to protect your self from it.
I was not referring to any one post in particular. I was generalizing regarding juding people who have been divorced and may have been saved after said divorces.
Regarding people being abused in relationships I have read some of your posts on other forums. I know you think if a woman is not confrontational but supportive then the aabuse would stop. I also see that you are blaming the church for divorces. But what I see is that lots of people who have been divorced are either not saved themselves or their partner is not. In this instance God is not in the relationship so the Church could not play a part in the divorce. I think there should be less pointing of fingers an d more people taking their own problems up with God instead of others condeming them.
As a new christian it is hard to read the words that have been written in this post and still remember that my sins are forgiven and what happened before I was saved does not matter. When my sins are thrown in my face it enables Satan to use them to make me question and doubt. Christians need support and encouragement not to be torn down for things that have happened. You can not get undivorced. So if a Christian has done something they shoudl not is it not up to them to ask forgiveness from God?
Regardless of anyone's personal situation, the Word of God IS the Word of God. It does not change to fit culture, times, or someones particular situation.
1) Many ladies talk about men wanting to start a relationship with sex. But, what you fail to realize is that when there is sex before marriage (no matter how long you have been dating) it is wrong and you have now taught your "man" that sex with you is not as valuable as God says it is.
2) Regardless of your reason for divorce or when it happened, as Jesus told the lady at the well...Go and sin no more. There is not a thing you may do about the past. Preachers must preach about sin and its effect, AND the message should end with how wonderful grace is...the more sinful you realize you are the more appreciative we should ALL be of grace.
3) It is really hard for a man to find a virtuous woman that wants an Eph 5/Col 3 type of relationship. Whether the dating service is Christian or secular the world dominates and too many of the women seem to be the same (men too...but I am not looking for a man).
So many post here so I'm not sure who said that abuse is curable, but I am interested in how one can explain that to my friend's children whose Dad stabbed her repeatedly in a fit of rage because she finally got the nerve to leave after over 20+years of abuse. You would be hard pressed to find a sweeter, more obedient wife. And the children, was abuse curable for them. Some people are just controlled by the spirit of Satan. That may have not been the way they were prior to marriage but God gives us choices, and sometimes people choose to serve Satan. Satan is real and God gives us a choice in who we wish to serve. Elijah said how long will you halter between the two if Baal be God choose him, if God be God choose him. Joshua said choose you this day who you will serve but as for me and my house we will serve The Lord. God is love and according to Jer. 17:9,10 he says that "the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it". Then he answers his own question and says, "I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doing". He is a forgiving God as seen in 1 John 2:1-2"My little children these things I write unto you that you sin not. And if any man sin we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous and he is the propitiation for our sins and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. To the new Christian, you have it right, what is past is past. Rom. 10:9 says "that if thou shalt confess with thou mouth the Lord Jesus and shalt believe in thine heart that God raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved". 1 John 1:9 " If we confess our sins, he's is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness", that's justification. After this cleansing he wants us to walk in the light and be obedient to his will, being guided by the holy spirit and learning how to live godly by studying his word, praying, and telling others of him, that's sanctification. The goal is to "Go and sin no more" but if we do sin through the deceptions of Satan we will always have an advocate for our names are written as the scars in his palms, and that is all who accepts Him by way of his plan of salvation as explained in John 3:16. My heart is exceedingly glad that it is God not man who judges. God is not the tyrant many make him out to be. My heart pains when anything but a picture of love is painted of him. He loves us and has good thoughts where we are concerned, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not evil,to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken into you" Jer. 29:11-12. It is my sincere pray that all here who need hearts to be healed have their hearts healed. According to the will of God be blessed.
