Author	Thread: Missing Out?
Job_33_4 View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 24 Apr, 2012 09:04 PM This is a question for any Godly woman that would like to answer. I am asking because I am curious about what you all may think. I know that everyone have physical desires and things that they are attracted to etc..we all vary in that department. However, lets say you meet a guy who matches, exceeds, or meet every criteria you would want in a man : Godly in mind, body and spirit, attractive, thoughtful, respectful, strong (physically and mentally), a leader of his own heart before God, intelligent, good with children, considerate, listens and speaks well, a gentleman..an overall great guy. But he doesn't meet that one physical trait you may like..such as he is 10 lbs overweight, he may not have the right color skin or hair..or he may not be as tall as you would like. Do you pass this man up or is he worth giving a shot? Please note that I am not attacking women or being biased etc..Yes, Ive been told Im not tall enough etc..Its kind of funny that these silly things are still issues even as I am getting older with some sisters..which I find kind of funny. It is just a social and cultural "norm" for a guy to be "tall" (above 5'6 lol). Why is that expected? Ive had women tell me that if I wasnt a short guy, Id have no problem with them. I think that that is not a Godly perspective at all. I am not having self confidence issues, so please dont think that lol. However, I am just curious as to what you all would do or say in this situation b/c not all women or people are the same. :) Thanks! Post Reply
Job_33_4 View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 09:12 AM @iheart Thanks for your post and response! I understand that most women may want a taller guy to feel protected as well. However, what most women do not understand is that a man's height is NOT a symbol (physically or psychologically) of his strength or his courage. I did not survive the mid 90s in a cesspool of violence and crime by being a pushover or a timid guy in the deep and urban south. Yes, I strive to live in humility and peace, but there was a time growing up as a teenager when I had to defend myself, my family, and mentally and physically fight to survive..and I never advocate violence...but sometimes, trouble finds you and you have no choice. I grew up in the Desire Housing Projects of New Orleans, and I never hang my head low nor was I ever stripped of my dignity as a man. So "protection" is theLAST thing a woman has to worry about being lacking in me because of my size. With that said, I am a very gentle and loving man...but that was a necessary part of my life and upbringing. I appreciate your comments. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 09:26 AM You a Saints fan by any chance? Post Reply
Job_33_4 View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 09:31 AM I LOVE MY SAINTS AND HORNETS(NAME SOON TO BE CHANGED LOL)! @HOH GEAUX SAINTS AND WHO DAT! :-) Post Reply
View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 09:33 AM Same here my friend! Although I'm only slightly a fan of the Hornets. I pull for them because they are in NO. I'm and OKC fan when it comes to the NBA. Oh and GEAUX Tigers! Sorry to disrupt the thread haha Post Reply
Job_33_4 View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 09:39 AM "I think that that is not a Godly perspective at all." It isn't. You're absolutely right. It's a petty, entitled attitude, and it absolutely is wrong, and if you see it, call the girls out on it. It's also possible that it's an excuse, that they didn't really think you two were compatible (for whatever reason, and this isn't an issue where anyone is at fault) and they used it as an excuse to avoid being honest about not being interested. That is deceitful and wrong. @godsgirl23 You know, Ive asked girls if there was anything else or any other reason why they wouldnt date me or give me a chance to get to know them..and they always said no and that it was because Im short or because I am Black (which Im actually a bunch of mixed races) or African American. Those were always the main two reasons. It was never anything to do with my personality or how I treated them etc. It was always superficial reasons...and yes I agree that sometimes it can be about them not being initially honest...Ive also had some tell me the "youre too good for me" line. If I am pursuing you and Im displaying interest in you...even if you think of me highly etc...do not deny a man when he wants to pursue you properly and respectfully..why do women do that? Only to turn around and say that men wont treat them right and then get involved with jerks. I dont understand it. I have female friends to this day who are like that. How can they know that we are not compatible if they never took a chance to explore my mind and heart? Keep em coming :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 09:42 AM "How can they know that we are not compatible if they never took a chance to explore my mind and heart? Keep em coming :)" I wonder about this myself. Good points man. Thanks for sharing. Post Reply
View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 10:09 AM I just thought I'd mentioned something on the being short comment. I actually think it would be kind of cool to date or marry a short guy. I have nothing against taller guys, but I think it'd be neat to be able to look at a guy without having to look up much. Post Reply
View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 10:24 AM "Not terribly sure that any of those people were meant to be viewed as potential dates, tbh." That's exactly my point. Someone's view of what is attractive in the opposite sex is entirely governed by their belief system. If a person's beliefs are "God centered", they will value the presence of Christ within a potential husband or wife above all else. If a person's beliefs are "self centered" they will value whatever they have come to believe is good by the use of their own understanding e.g: physical appearance, emotional kindness and so on. 1 Peter 3:3 says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God�s sight." 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the LORD said to Samuel, �Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.� By the way, The Apostle Peter did in fact have a wife... Post Reply
View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 26 Apr, 2012 10:35 AM Job 33, Take a look at the verses I mentioned above and pray that the Lord would lead you to someone who would love and see you as closely as possible to the way God loves and sees you. At the same time, test your own definition of what you find attractive in a woman by God's Word and have faith that the Lord is able to provide. God bless Post Reply
RenewedReborn View Profile History	Missing Out? Posted : 27 Apr, 2012 06:58 AM I think alot of people are superficial and have a list of what the want in someone and really follow the list. As I've gotten older and expanded my world and the places I go my list as far as looks has gotten shorter, not to say that I dont care how the guy looks its just that I'm looking to enjoying someone as a friend first and that friend might be a different race, overweight, etc., but if my and guy clicks and our basic values are the same all the outer appearances are not as important. I think sometimes some women can be so caught up into the "perfect" guy, that we may miss out on the ones that we walk by because he doesnt fit into our perfect little box. Post Reply

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