Author	Thread: Should I have handled this differently?
Admin	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 24 Oct, 2011 04:46 PM I recently met (within the past two days) a woman on another site. We got to talking with a few short messages (nothing much), and last night she was wondering if she could have my phone number so we could text. Now, Im not too worried about online dating, but believe you should be cautious about people you first meet and talk to them awhile before giving out info like phone numbers and email. I had told her that I didnt feel comfortable yet giving out my number because I felt like I hardly knew anything about her (she never really answered the questions I asked here, and focused on asking her own questions, she answered maybe 1 or 2 of the 4-6 I had asked her). In the end I havent heard back from here, just logged on and noticed she was online). So I feel that turning donw my # probably turned her off, maybe not, who knows. Maybe she hasnt gotten back to me. I just felt like she was pushing herself on me, and was neglecting to answer me and provide some info about herself to me. She gave some info, like name, where she went to college, what she wanted to do for a job. But thats not really what I want to know about a woman. The things I want to know about a person take time (not 1-2 messages, maybe 4-6). More personal type things, like her faith (which I asked, but she never answered, just that she was born again, while I was looking for something more in depth). So was I wrong to not give her my number or was I correct in going with my gut feeling. Do any woman on here ask for mens numbers within two messages? Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 26 Oct, 2011 07:37 PM I totally understand what you are saying...and any Catholic who believes that good works will get him/her into Heaven is wrong. I do know a few Catholics (such as my aunt, a friend's mom, a couple college acquaintances, and a few members on this site), though, who firmly believe that the only way into Heaven is through faith in the saving blood of Jesus Christ. So yes, I get what you are saying. But I would just be very hesitant to lump all Catholics together as "unsaved"...only God knows their hearts. (I'm also trying to defuse the bomb that could go off if some of the Catholics on this site happen across this thread...lol!) That said, I personally wouldn't be comfortable marrying a Catholic because even if he believed in salvation by grace through faith, there are still doctrinal differences that would be difficult to compromise on. Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 27 Oct, 2011 02:55 PM I understand, Im not trying to lump all Catholics together, so if anyone here who is Catholic is reading this, than I appologize. Its justthe majority of peopl I have met that are Catholic all believe in the works. Post Reply
vkjewell View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 27 Oct, 2011 05:48 PM I've said this in many private responses; so maybe I'll share it more publicly. If I met Mr. New at a local church function and he expressed interest in getting acquainted, I would not require him to start emailing or texting me. Nor would I waste my time chatting on the phone. There is just no legitimate way to represent yourself truthfully except in person. I invested for quite a long time in a long distance relationship by email; and the image I built up in my mindabout this very nice Christian man was just nothing like the person I eventually met. That's not his fault. It's just an inherent flaw of internet fellowshipping. So, in my humble opinion, Single Christian men on this site should be clear in their profile about how and if they intend to arrange a long distance meet if they express interest in someone more than an hour or two away round trip. Single Christian women need to think about how to arrange for that publicly and safely. If you are here to pursue a serious relationship, things need to move into "real dating" with "real people" "real soon". Post Reply
View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 28 Oct, 2011 12:56 PM I would just be very hesitant to lump all Catholics together as "unsaved"...only God knows their hearts. I agree with this and I am a born again believer.:angel: Through email and on the phone you can learn a lot about a person. Ask questions, listen carfully and it can honest tell you if you should even meet this person - In Person. I have declined from meeting many men In Person because of conversations. Blessings..... Post Reply
jennifer84 View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 11 Nov, 2011 07:06 AM I don't think you were wrong at all. I've faced the "can I have your number? situation" many times. And you just have to say "no." Nothing is more irritating than having 10 or 15 random people texting you at all hours of the day and night! This site is just a forum, to get info about other people that you don't get the chance to meet in your normal circle. It isn't a promise or a contract. Even if you don't meet anyone, it's a good way to learn about yourself and what you are looking for in a person. If this girl was getting pushy, then it's obvious she has some control issues. And nothing is more miserable in a relationship than a person who is so dominant they want to control everything you do. Stay clear and narrow it down to the people you really want to talk to! Post Reply
niceguy_is_me View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 18 Mar, 2012 02:39 PM There are many ways to communicate. If you are not comfortable in that form of communication (phone) yet, you shouldn't give out your phone number. Usually, if the other side willing to give her number, that means she is really interested in you. Some people are not doing well in emailing, they might prefer phone conversations better. Therefore, it is all up to your comfortable level to open up to the other form of communication in a short period of time. Hope that help. God bless and good luck. Post Reply
dhel_rosales View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 13 Apr, 2014 10:22 PM I dont think you did wrong for not giving your number to her. Guess, she respects you in some point by not answering after that. At least she knows what she wants. But on the other hand, I will wait till the guy gave me his number! Its not the time counts but it would be worth the waiting. Post Reply
Love2Love77 View Profile History	Should I have handled this differently? Posted : 19 Apr, 2014 08:30 AM Always believe in yourself. Remember that you replied how you did for a reason. Everyone is different and has different views about what they say, feel and want. I know if I am asked for my phone number or they give me their number immanently, I in return step back and think about what just happened. If I give my number out, it means that I really am interested and wish not to loose contact. I will text for awhile too before we speak. I do ask for them to find me on Facebook first so that I can see how they are on there as well as what friends they choose to have. If she is the one, than you dear friend will know soon.:waving: Post Reply

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