Author	Thread: What do you say???
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 2 Oct, 2011 12:14 AM I get very overly bluntly honest when I'm tired and almost put the following as a reply to someone saying "you're cute" after having no actual conversation yet, just a few completely shallow sentences back and forth. "While compliments can be flattering, something like that is so hard to respond to. I mean, you can say, "Thanks," and move on, but it's uncomfortable, at least for me, when you have had maybe 2 or 3 sentences exchanged because you just don't know what to say in response. I do appreciate the compliment, but quite frankly, I do not know what to say to that." Basically, I know "thanks" and move on is the appropriate response, and fortunately I caught myself before sending the above and did send simply "thanks." But for me, I want to have conversations. And when guys don't give me much to go off of, it's hard to know what to say! Am I the only one who feels this way? What response do you give in those situations? And how do you move the conversation forward, if at all? I really appreciate the input of my fellow ladies! (And men if you have anything to say in response also.) Post Reply
bhoov3 View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 6 Oct, 2011 05:41 AM You ^ must have some real winners where you live because i dunno who would approach a girl and say hey mammi..haha but why is it a big deal a guys says that? if he says it say thanks it should make you feel good we all like compliments and say hey tell me something about you and there you go the conversation starts...it is kinda shallow to say "thanks" ppl with personallitys and things to say would just roll with the comment and spark something f they are interested on the other hand the "thanks" could b a im not interested go away ha..this is to complicated guys just be yourself and if YOU feel you wanna tell a girl you think she is easy on the eyes go ahead because you can never go wrong being yourself and if the girl takes it the wrong way then she def wasnt meant for you because we all need to be with someone who will allow us to be ourselfs...and you ladies keep analyzing what we say or do and what it means hopefully you can just be satisfied with a guy just giving you a compliment!!!just my 2 cents Post Reply
View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 6 Oct, 2011 07:50 AM If I may interject with a little insight. A man telling a lady "Hey baby, you lookin' gooood!" is about equivelant to a woman saying, "hey you, I sure like the size of your wallet... how much you got in there??" It's a part of us... but don't tally our worth by it. Post Reply
View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 6 Oct, 2011 11:11 AM Man should be the pursue, however, on CDFF I have not seen that very often and when I did it was "Hi you are attractive for your age. ". lol I usually reply to all messages with an answer. But that is just me. One man recently wanted to get to know me but he wanted a personal email after just one day. lol Well, he got banned anyway. I could tell his message was copied and pasted a very lenghty message at that. He probably sent it to several women on here. I have seen many men profiles saying contact him, if you want to talk. lol A real Christian man should step up and make conversation with a lady he is interested in. And that should be intelligent conversation, period!! Post Reply
CuddleBunny View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 6 Oct, 2011 11:41 AM Bhoov3 I'm not sure if you understand what being shallow means because you are using it in the wrong context. "Shallow: Not exhibiting, requiring, or capable of serious thought" Maybe you should direct this adjective towards the guys who say "hey you're cute" without saying anything else instead of aiming it at women who don't pay any mind to these superficial messages. They are not exhibiting any serious thought into what kind of person we are, and only focusing on what is obvious. "Superficial: concerned with or comprehending only what is apparent or obvious; not deep or penetrating emotionally or intellectually" "i dunno who would approach a girl and say hey mammi" You don't know because you're not a typical attractive woman haha. I usually have people of Hispanic or African descent pass me this line. It's not a big deal while I'm out in town, but it's a big deal going on a dating website when you put much thought into writing a profile about yourself, and then all a guy can come up with is "hey you're cute". Why should I respond when I have other men flooding my inbox who acknowledge some good INTERIOR qualities about myself? I will NEVER say thanks to a shallow message because it certainly is not welcomed. It doesn't make me feel good about myself, it makes me feel like just a pretty face, and I know I'm more than that, and bravo to the many men who get that. Many women don't mind exterior compliments, just follow up with an interior one so you don't crush your chances because you came off as shallow. If a man really is shallow, then he can keep doing what he's doing. Smart women will know to avoid him. We are not here to analyze what men say or do. It's us using common sense or using what we have learned from experience. So I don't know what is your problem that you would defend and support shallow messages, and take a jab at us girls. o_O Post Reply
bhoov3 View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 12 Oct, 2011 08:33 AM lol wow now we know that you are smarter than the average bear with all these definitions...still doesn't sway the fact that you are judging a man because he wants to give you a compliment that might he thinks might make ur day a little better and we all know we are on a christian website...this is what gives christians a bad name say one thing do the other but for the guys that do give YOU compliments and are doing it cause there really good dudes ill say thanks for them!!! and u continue to ignore messages Post Reply
CuddleBunny View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 12 Oct, 2011 03:01 PM Well I just googled the definitions so I could be more accurate. :rolleyes: I am not judging the men who do this. I am saying that the messages they send are indeed shallow, and I refuse to thank them for it or reply to it. Again, not judging the man, I am judging the message. It's not my Christian duty to be thankful for every action done to me. You never have to change who you are, just how you present yourself. And a message is a presentation. To say that women need to help a guy out with his own presentation is quite ridiculous lol. I am not here to respond to every "good dude" on this website that sends me a message. If that "good dude" can't offer a good presentation, then I have the option to ignore him. I don't have the supernatural ability to determine who is a good guy and who isn't by a simple message, and so ignoring these superficial messages is the easiest and best way for me to avoid the men I don't want. I am speaking from experience. There was a time where I did welcome these messages. Never a good outcome. Turned out these guys were just as shallow as their message. But that's just me. If people have found success responding to these messages...good for them. It just doesn't work for me, and I'm going to use common sense and use what works for me by ignoring them :) Post Reply
View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 13 Oct, 2011 07:51 AM Hahah it's true! I usually get your very beautiful...I say thank you. and move on and ask them How they came to know Jesus and how long they have been saved=0). It's really nice when they see my heart and say Wow i love the way you love Jesus and your beautiful inside and out! Haha no idea if that helps. Maybe to throw em off you could say Why do you think that...haha. I don't know...lol Post Reply
View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 13 Oct, 2011 07:53 AM Oh...lo. is that all that means. Good to know=0) Post Reply
bhoov3 View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 13 Oct, 2011 09:52 AM not judging them? then what are you doing? if you dont like compliments on your apperance then why in the world are you on a dating site? if you dont want compliments take ur picture off as a matter of fact if its all about whats inside then we should all come up with a website that doesnt have pictures and just descriptions...right? be real about it all the guy is doing is stating or letting you kno he is attracted and ur lil description in your description box is not enuff to really find out about someone...i wish you ppl would be real about stuff and accept the fact that what a person looks like does matter initially..we all know that you can be the prettiest thing in the world but be ugly inside and that all comes out getting to know someone...but to just throw someone to the side and ignore them cause they gave u a compliment is childish all u have to do is say thanks...maybe this rudness you display about someone giving a compliment is why you are single???jusst sayin its part of a reason guys dont approach woment we never know how they are going to react or be... Post Reply
CuddleBunny View Profile History	What do you say??? Posted : 13 Oct, 2011 12:54 PM bhoov3, you are missing the point entirely and not understanding what I've been saying. I said I don't like compliments on STRICTLY my appearance on a dating site. I appreciate a man who tells me that he finds me attractive because being attractive to one another is important but not everything and that's why I have a profile that describes a little about myself. It isn't so hard for a man to cherry pick some things he finds interesting about myself and talk about that. He can even throw in a few questions if he wants to talk about something that I did not mention. So the idea of taking off my picture is silly to say the least. My picture is here to show my attraction so a man can view my profile to get a quick understanding of the type of person I am so he can be inclined to message me if he finds me interesting. Nowhere did I say that attraction is unimportant so I don't see where you are getting that idea. I also don't understand why you're exaggerating the so-called difficulty it is to send a message that goes past the "hey you're cute". If it is that strenuous to find something OTHER THAN my physical appearance to be interested in, then I don't wish to communicate with such a guy. Again, I am not judging these men. If someone is sending a shallow message, they are presenting themselves to be a shallow person. If someone writes an emotionally-intelllectually-stimulating message, they are presenting themselves to be just that. With a shallow message, they don't ask my name, they don't leave their name, they don't explain why they are messaging me other than the fact that I'm pretty, they don't ask questions to find out more about me, they don't do anything other than to present themselves as having nothing interesting to talk about. I'm still single because I don't thank people for their shallow messages??? :laugh: You really are stretching, huh? A message I would reply to: "Hello, my name is Joe. May I ask your name? You are very beautiful by the way :) I love that you take care of yourself by exercising and eating right. What kind of sports do you like to play? I was on the basketball team in my youth, and I still play from time to time. Can you tell me about what you are looking forward to doing with your life in the near future? Hope to hear from you soon." Are you telling me that the created message above is too difficult for the average man to make, that he has to resort to "hey you're cute" messages so a woman has to be the one to get the actual ball rolling to a more in-depth conversation? I've had a few serious relationships and some not-so serious relationships with guys, and let me tell you this: those serious relationships never started with a "hey you're cute". I'll let you take a hint to the ones that started with that phrase or similar. lol Post Reply

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