Author	Thread: Independance...
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Independance... Posted : 9 Aug, 2011 06:09 PM ...what does it mean to you? This following a thread from another forum, and I was wondering how you LADIES define independance, especially in a relationship :^) Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Independance... Posted : 11 Aug, 2011 09:07 AM Rabbit, I do agree that it's not usually a good thing to have too much independence when it comes to spending time with people of the opposite sex. I've personally seen more than one affair start that way. But I would also not want to have to "ask permission" to meet a guy friend...that would make me feel like I was a teenager again. I'd much rather tell my husband who I'm meeting and when and where, and I would want him to have the freedom and authority to say something like, "You know, I'm uncomfortable with this situation for such-and-such reason...do you mind if I come along or could you invite him over for supper with the two of us instead?" That way he would be treating me as an adult and with respect, but I would still be under his wise authority. If he wanted to meet a girl friend, I would want him to do the same for me: tell me about it, and let me voice any concerns that I might have. And YES, there are always some circumstances where it is appropriate to ask for approval before making plans. Anyway, I suppose my perspective comes from the fact that I've never had a lot of guy friends that I do things with...I can only think of two or three over the past 10 years, and I still keep in touch with only one of them. My other guy friends are definitely the more casual, seen-mostly-in-group-settings type of friends! The friends that I spend the most time with are girls. I could be wrong, but I really don't expect that to ever change...especially if I'm married. Post Reply
View Profile History	Independance... Posted : 11 Aug, 2011 11:44 AM Starting out as Friends first of Course. Both parties should be an independant until they become One, in marriage. The the relationship is then a partnership equal. I would not want a mate that is not independent of me. He needs to be a leader. The scriptures says two become One after marriage. Most people that date or Court the relationship is not marriage so you can not look at it as Marriage. Most people do what they want when they are in those types of relationships. JMO Post Reply
View Profile History	Independance... Posted : 12 Aug, 2011 12:22 AM Wow...lots of insight being shared. I think I created a monster:) I agree about telling the significant other about meeting up with a member of the opposite gender. Asking feels like one person has control and authority over the other. If my significant other felt uncomfortable, I would make group arrangements or ask him to come with. I hope he would do the same for me. Post Reply
View Profile History	Independance... Posted : 12 Aug, 2011 12:58 AM I haven't read the thread in the other forum yet...But I'll say this, I think independence can often be a cover up for something else; so a lady (not all ladies of course:) could say she needs her independence but it could be that she is tired of the guy's complacency and can't say that outright... I know, I've been in situations like that. Independence for me would be knowing he's there and he has my back, and trusts me enough to make the right decision...but also knows that I can make some stupid decisions since I am human, so he keeps an eye on me/looks out for me without making me feel like I'm 5 again! Post Reply

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